Saturday, March 29, 2008

Next Up The Fuzzy Peach Felons

I don't understand the whole "gang" thing. OK, I understand what a "gang" is and I understand what and who "gang members" are. That I get. Here's what I don't get. What I don't get is how these guys, who want to come across as being all bad ass and tough and all of that, always have the stupidest names for their gangs and always seem to have the stupidest nicknames for themselves.

Case in point: The Grape Street Crips. OK, I'm sure they think that by throwing "Crips" in there that it totally negates the fact that they also threw "Grape Street" in there as well. "Crips" at least has some sort of stigma associated with it. ( I always think that it sounds like "Crisps" and it makes me think of bad ass breakfast cereals. It also makes me think that they really should have thought that one through a little bit more.) It also kind of reminds me of that 70s TV show "The Banana Splits". (Only that show was for entertaining small children, not for manufacturing and distributing PCP to the masses.) A federal grand jury in Los Angeles returned a ten count indictment against a bunch of Grapes for making, dealing, using, loving, etc. PCP. Nice job, FBI guys. Nice job.

So, who are The Genius Ten of Grape Street? Well, this is where the part about the idiot nicknames comes in. I present to you...A Bunch Of Grapes:

~ Alphonso Eugene Foster, also known as "Al Foster," also known as "G-Al," 38 (G-Al?? Real intimidating there, Alphonso.)

~ Kim Vernell Walker, also known as "Plex," 45 (Plex? Du? Cine? Multi? Dumbass?)

~ Michael Edward Baker, also known as "Butter," also known as "B-Mike," 33 (Next indictment, his cousin, Margarine, also known as "Oleo"

~ Latera Kyesha Lashana Odom, also known as "Kisha," 25 (OK, none of those names are real.)

~ ML Scott, also known as "Rainbow," also known as "Bow," 43 (Introducing his sidekicks "Strawberry Shortcake, Rainbow Brite and My Little Pony).

~ Kelvin Benn, also known as "Down," 31 (In this case, as in "going down")

~ Ronell Napier, also known as "Foe," 38 (Yeah, dude. You're going to prison...Foe sho'!)

~ Darcell Morris, also known as "D," also known as "Da," also known as "Dar" (So much easier for this guy if his name just stops at one of the first three letters. Kind of ironic that he leaves out the "-cell" and yet, that's where he wound up. Oh, the humanity.)

~ Lydia Lenora Brown, also known as "Lydia," 49 (She couldn't go with Lyd? Or Ly? Or L?)

~ Johnnie Lee Boyd Sr., also known as "John Lee," 47 (General Lee was already taken by the car from "Dukes of Hazzard".)

~ Charlotte Wright Jackson, also known as "Charlotte," 46 (I suppose I'm glad a 46 year old woman on PCP doesn't have a nickname.)
~ Jamilah Latifa Terrell, also known as "Porky," 26 (Not the most flattering choice there, um, sir? Ma'am? I can't tell. I just can't.)

~ Anthony Rondele Robinzine, also known as "Bam," 38 (Somehow, I don't think he will be mistaken for the Emeril guy, even with the "Bam" name.)

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Anonymous said...

uuugggh... you have no idea what you're talking about. Leave this topic DON'T understand gang life. I have a family member in that list you're making fun of...and well it's annoying. You have your opinion, so I will respect it. But seriously, you just have no clue. Right now people are saddened by this...and families are dealing with real life situations. It would've been nice to read an educated blog on this topic.

Mare said...

I have no idea what I'm talking about? I wasn't talking about much. I talked about their nicknames and how I found them silly. I don't know where you feel I've been incorrect. I understand you disagree with my poking fun at these individuals and I respect that. (By the way, thanks for making a reasonable comment instead of just trashing me. I appreciate it.) And I wholeheartedly agree with you that it's a very sad situation...when people find the need to perpetuate the manufacture, distribution and use of PCP. (By the way, I wrote that almost 2 months ago. If you're just now looking for an "educated blog on this topic" and it involves a family member of yours, I have to ask you, what took you so long?)

Anonymous said...

Is this the same Ronnel Napier that is referenced in recent news regarding a section 8 housing resident suing the city of Chandler Az to pay her rent in California?

Anonymous said...

This is old but you didn't know Wat you were talking about and one of those people up there Michael) is my father