Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Cricket Streaker

The Australian press needs to study the European press for some pointers on how to add colorful descriptions to their news items. I can tell that they're trying! But they really string it out for far too long (much like this blog). And the amusing bits that they do happen to sneak in there just can't carry it through until you reach the next one. But they do get points for the photos they include with their never ending stories. Especially photos that are taken when a streaker invades a cricket match. (Why are sports competitions in other countries "matches"? Why isn't it a cricket "game"? We don't go to baseball "matches".)

Apparently, a naked dude streaked his way around the field at a cricket match. One of the players, a one Andrew Symonds, gave the naked running guy a shoulder charge and laid him out. Now, I don't know who this Symonds guy is, but according to the Australian Press and without any further elaboration, "It has been a tensions-filled summer for Symonds in the fallout over the Harbhajan racial row." Wow. I don't know what the hell that means, but it sounds intense. Enough to make you elbow a streaker as he runs by you, apparently. That's evidenced by "...a grinning, naked man unwittingly let Symonds blow off some steam" by giving him the shoulder as he went by.

Now, what do you think of when you read "During the 10th over, play was held up as the male streaker showed security a clean pair of heels - and a whole lot more."? Because in my head, I have a picture of a naked man in heels (Not stilettos. Probably a pump. Something comfortable. I'm thinking in black, too. Sensible. You know.) running across a cricket field. I just don't know what that means! What the hell is "a clean pair of heels" in Australia? And why would "a whole lot more" imply that the "more" is worse than the "heels"?

There's not much more on this guy after that. But the length of the article overall increases with this odd statement about the game of cricket in Australia: "But Australian cricketers have been known to make an example of nude intruders. " Been known to make an example of nude intruders? So this happens often? Like a national pastime? WTF? It seems to date back at least 32 years becaue "In 1976 former Australian captain Greg Chappell was so incensed by a male streaker he spanked him on the bottom with his bat at Auckland's Eden Park." I thought it was weird before, but it's definitely weird now. (Side note: Chappell was found guilty of assault after a complaint from the streaker. Nice.)

Apparently, Symonds could face a "serious punishment" if the International Cricket Council decides that he breached section 4.2 of the player's code of conduct relating to a physical assault of a rival player, an official or a spectator. And while it's comforting to know that the US isn't the only country that has to deal with idiocy like this, it's not exactly reassuring in any arena.

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