Sunday, March 30, 2008

Hookers. Not Just For Governors Anymore

It probably wouldn't surprise you to learn that a man was arrested in Sarasota, Florida for soliciting a prostitute. It might surprise you to learn that the man was 93. It surprised the hell out of me.


Frank Milio, a 93 year old gent with, apparently, quite a bit of energy allegedly offered a prostitute (who was really an undercover officer. Yeah, they're sneaky like that.) money for sex. He, of course, has denied the charges. I'd be inclined to believe him (he is 93, after all) except that the cops say that he offered the fake hooker twenty bucks.

Excuse me, sir? It's not 1930! We've made it out of the Great Depression just fine! This country is flourishing! Happy days are here again! Especially for the hookers! If you travel up north to the New York Governor's mansion, you'll learn that those whores want at least a couple of grand. And you offer someone twenty bucks? You're lucky you only got arrested and not smacked upside the head for insulting the fake hooker with your lousy twenty bucks. I don't care how old you are, have some dignity, man!

But wait! There's more! More, as in another 93 year old man (Was it like Field Trip Day at the Retirement Home or what?) who also found himself on the wrong end of the undercover sting. (Probably not literally. He's 93. Being on the wrong end of anything, let alone a hooker, could kill the poor guy.) Apparently Carlos Underhill told the hooker that he was going to return in a few hours with some money to pay for said sexual encounters. And, no, he didn't come back with only twenty bucks. Geez. Think he'd be that lame? Of course not.

He came back with $30.




Again, the year is 2008. (Granted, crappy economy, falling stocks, depressed housing market, bank debacles, etc., I can see how one who is 93 might mistake the current year as one during the Great Depression Era. And thirty bucks back then probably would have gotten you a hooker for at least a week. Maybe he had high hopes, I don't know. Whatever it was, he shouldn't be running around the hooker areas(or any areas, for that matter) of Florida unsupervised.) Besides, he said it wasn't for sex. He said he just wanted to talk. Carlos told the cops, "I am 93, after all." Yeah, Carlos. You are 93. And yet you're still out trolling for whores. Perhaps you should start reminding yourself that you're 93.

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