Sunday, March 16, 2008

Hi-Blech

When you first watch TV in hi-def, you'd swear you've died and gone to heaven. My God, the improvement over reg-def is amazing. Everything is clearer, sharper, crisper! And while that's good on some levels, it seems to be not so good on other levels. Apparently, the appearance of some celebs in hi-def is a bit more than we really want to see. Yeah, they look a bit too much like regular people in hi-def. And if I wanted to look at "regular people", I'd just walk outside. (If I wanted to look at "irregular people" I'd head down to the Department of Motor Vehicles. It's like a leper colony down there.)

So here we have just a few celebrities who we should really avoid watching in hi-def.


Like you didn't think Keith Richards was going to be on a list of people you should avoid looking at (for any reason)! How Keith has managed to keep himself alive to this day is beyond me. I'm pretty sure that if there ever was a nuclear holocaust, two things would survive: Cockroaches and Keith Richards. But just because you seemingly have the gift of eternal life, doesn't mean it's going to be pretty.

Dr. Phil is annoying period. Doesn't matter the "def", he's just annoying. And pasty. Pastily annoying in hi-def. At least when Oprah gave us that James Frey book that turned out to be a bunch of crap, we could give that back! But The Oprah gave us Dr. Phil too, and now we're stuck with him. Let's just pray that he doesn't end up on the air as long as Larry King has. Hey, speaking of.....

Oh, wait. Wrong pic. Hang on.....
You can see where I got confused. That probably sums this one up. Next!



Here we have Dave (Shocker, I know!). As in Letterman. And I'm a big David Letterman fan, but I just can't be a fan of that. And in hi-def?! All of that stubble and it would appear as if he had instantly been transformed into that pinface guy from Hellraiser. Stay behind your desk, Dave. Or at least under it.

As I stated about Keith Richards, can you really expect to have a list of people you don't want to look at in general and expect that it would not include Steven Tyler? It's an interesting look he's wearing these days. (Is that a raccoon tail poking out from under his hair? WTF?) On the lower half of his face, we seem to be sporting the stubble and the manliness (I use the term loosely, of course.) that one would expect from the lead singer of Aerosmith. But then on the upper half of his face, we seem to be sporting the smoothness and the femininity that one would expect from the daughter of the lead singer of Aerosmith. Not a good look in hi-def. Dude looks like a lady! No, wait! A dude! No, wait! A lady! No, wait! A dude! Who has time for that really?

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