Wednesday, March 26, 2008

It's Like Easter on Steroids

I know I was mocking the whole "world record" concept thing a little while ago. But that was only because they were allowing things to be "world records" that really weren't very "world record"-y (Like the 1,100+ morons all dressed up like Robin Hood.). But here's something that has renewed my hope in the World Record arena. An entry of gigantic proportions which, frankly, scares the bejeezus out of me. Behold! Amy, the world's biggest rabbit.

World's Biggest Rabbit
OK, I took one look at that creature and thought, "That is a BFR (Big Fat Rabbit) if I have ever seen one." Look at the size of that thing! It's like a horse! Or a St. Bernard. You could put a little keg of brandy around it's neck and have it save unfortunate travelers stranded in the snowy Yukon, for cryin' out loud. Amy the Rabbit The rabbit is over 3 1/2 feet long and weighs over 50 lbs. That's like a child! In a coat! All the time! It's not normal!

Amy the rabbit, a Continental Giant (I should say so! Oh, wait. That's the breed. Never mind.) has been raised by Annette Edwards. Ms. Edwards was on a quest to raise the world's biggest rabbit. I do not know why. Oh, wait, now I know. She wanted to breed Amy to be bigger than the previous World Biggest Rabbit, Roberto, who she ALSO raised. Hmmm. I see a trend.

And it's a pretty good bet that Ms. Edwards will get to raise the world's NEXT BFR, as Roberto and Amy have been going at it for quite some time now "in their reinforced hutch". Well, they don't go at it "all the time" in the reinforced hutch. That's because Amy is now so big she has to sleep outside. In a dog kennel. (Yep, that Roberto has a pretty sweet deal going on. A little BFR lovin' and then she's out the door!)World's Biggest Rabbit

And while all of this doesn't really appear to be totally ab-normal (So the woman likes BFRs? Do you want her selling crack to schoolchildren instead? Do you? All right then. BFRs it is.), it does have one "WTF" component that's worth mentioning. The BFRB (Big Fat Rabbit Breeder) invited over 100 people to a wedding ceremony for Roberto and Amy approximately 2 years ago. The only thing I find stranger than that is the fact that the over 100 people actually showed up to a wedding for a couple of BFRs! Do they have nothing better to do over there in Holland?! I guess not. But she claims that everything is great because the BFRs don't have any jealousy issues. I don't know why they would. After all, they're rabbits.

I don't know that rabbits capable of feeling jealousy. And even if they were, I don't know that they would know what to do about it. I mean, if you were a rabbit and you felt jealous, would you know the protocol that has been, historically, laid out by humans for humans? Do you think you'd know to start stalking the other rabbit? Calling it's hutch and hanging up? Driving by it's hutch several times a day? Always wondering if the other rabbit was cheating on you? Constantly thinking that your little bunny offspring might not be yours? Contemplate going on Springer, etc? I doubt you would. And neither would the non-jealous BFRs.

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