Friday, March 21, 2008

BFS + HDD - HDD = WTF!WTF!WTF!

Oh, Sweet Mother of God, I do not like having to do a follow up post on something like this. You're not going to like it much either. (There will be no picture associated with this post as it's just too damn disturbing as it is, for cryin' out loud.)

About a month ago, I posted about a very large python (hereafter known as the BFS, Big Fat Snake) that ATE a family's DOG and was having trouble digesting it (hereafter known as the HDD, Half Digested Dog). The plan was to let the snake hang out at the zoo until he was done with dinner. This took place down where, mate? Right. Australia. Which is where? Right. In the South.

You may be just as horrified as I was to learn that the BFS (oxymoronically named 'Fluffy') has just regurgitated the dog. Correct. The bitch is back.

According to the ironically named Venom Zoo's owner, "It was not a pleasant thing." Really?! I had no idea that a SNAKE throwing up a DOG a couple of WEEKS after it ATE it would not be a "pleasant thing". He continued with, "The power had gone out here so we weren’t able to regulate its (the snake’s) temperature. Basically it was just stressed out." OK, look, I don't know a lot about snakes and I probably know even less about electricity, but I know this: If losing power meant that a BFS might barf up an HDD, I sure as hell am going to keep a generator BY MY SIDE if I work at the zoo! (Oh, and he also thinks that the BFS was "a little stressed". Um, I'm a "little stressed" out about it and I'm on the other side of the freaking globe!)

The zoo owner demonstrated how out of touch he is with how other people have perceived this incident by stating, "Instead of seeing the amazing uniqueness of the animal, they just saw it eating a pet." And while that is true, think about it, dude! If I see a BFS eating a CLD (Cute Little Dog), the "amazing uniqueness of the animal" most definitely will be lost on me. The "amazing disgustingness" of the situation will not be lost on me, however.

Turns out, however, that the family of the RDD (Regurgitated Dead Dog) has already lost their cat AND their guinea pig to the BFS in the weeks before the snake ate the CLD. What is WRONG with those people?! You have a BFS treating your CLPs (Cute Little Pets) like they were items in a buffet line and you do NOTHING?!

And now, since the BFS has thrown up the HDD, it has been released into the wild at a secret location, due to receiving hate mail from people who wanted to kill it. (Why they were worried about people who were writing hate mail to a BFS is beyond me. It's not like the BFS could read the mail!) They said that "Regurgitating its meal was a defense mechanism. So it could escape. It got rid of what was holding it back." Ahhhh. Well....at least that explains all of those bulemics I keep seeing on America's Most Wanted.

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