Wednesday, March 12, 2008

I Used All 10 Fingers And Only 15 Minutes

I had previously mentioned Les Stewart, the bloke from Australia who set the World Record for typing all of the numbers from one to one million in words on a manual typewriter. I don't know why this is a record, but I do know that he started doing this in 1982. Yes, 1982. During the Reagan Administration, that is correct. I also know that after seven manual typewriters, 1000 ink ribbons, 19,890 pages, 26 years and seven months later, he finished with the lines "nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety-nine" and finally "one million.

Now, Les started doing this (according to him) after he had "been classed as an invalid and could no longer work." I am unfamiliar with the classing of invalids as it pertains to the Australian system of such, so we're going to have to take his word for it. But I still found it strange that, even as an officially classed invalid, someone would want to do this. Then I learned that before his invalid status, he was a "police typing instructor" before his "illness" which forced him to "retire from the force". The police in Australia need typing instruction? How bad were they?
I decided that they must have been pretty bad after reading this: "He typed an average of three pages per day with one finger since 1982." The typing instructor typed for 26 years with one finger?! He said that his "secret" was to type for 20 minutes on the hour, every hour.

There's not much of a "secret" to typing with one finger for 26 years!! No, that's not something that most people are clammoring to know more about! It's the mental stability of an individual who is the one typing with one finger for 26 years that we're concerned about. Mental issues! A lot of these things come down to nothing more than men-tal is-sues!

It's when things like this get chalked up to something other than a mental issue that problems ensue. Next thing you know, 33 or 25 scientists will want to do a study on what makes this type of behavior occur in retired law enforcement typing instructors! It will cost gazillions of dollars and will take place over at least 3 decades! Tell you what? I'll end the anticipation right now! You want to know why?! He's nuts! Mental issues! End of story! Save your money! Stop typing! And for God's sake, while you're at it, get a freaking computer! It's 2008.

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