According to that one psychologist guy, that David Blum, all of this huffing "...can also cause permanent damage and what he called "sudden sniffing death." The permanent damage part is fairly easy to spot. I'm having a hard time believing that this "sudden sniffing death" is something that happens frequently or often. If Mr. Tribett is any indicator, it doesn't happen at all! Blum also mentioned that huffing is "...something that kids experiment with and, if they're not properly educated on the dangers of abusing chemicals, it could be a problem that follows them into adulthood." You think?Sphere: Related Content
Monday, August 31, 2009
Sunday, August 30, 2009
God, I did not think that it was that difficult for folks to comprehend and understand what the definition of an emergency is. And I understand that there's a wide range of things which DO constitute an emergency, but not being able to find your car keys isn't one of them. Jackass.
According to an article over there at UPI, a one Lin Xu (pronounce that however you'd like to), age old-enough-to-know-better-by-27, "...called 911 several times early Saturday from a pay phone outside of a Walgreens store in Boynton Beach."The article doesn't state what it was that he told the 911 operator, but whatever it was, it was enough for officers to actually show up!He told them that "... he called the emergency line because he lost his house key." To which, I'm assuming, the officers response was, "And....?" I'm thinking that there might have been alcohol involved due to Mr. Unpronounceable giving the officers an address in Texas. And that is where the UPI report of this account goes a bit astray when they include "... it was not clear whether he recently moved to Florida or was visiting at the time of the incident." What now?
It wasn't clear if he lived there or was visiting? Did he have ID? How do they not know that? What part exactly wasn't clear? Are those the only two choices? Florida and Texas? Perhaps the gentleman was from a, um...a...foreign land and was, um.....visiting! Yeah, that's it! Visiting our fine nation, perhaps unannounced and unexpected (with no intent of ever leaving)!
If so, then it would have made perfect sense to a one Monte Hilton to call 911 for a ride home, as that's what he did on August 25 in Tampa. The guy needed a ride, so he went to a pay phone and called 911. (What is it with folks in Florida who are unclear on the concept of 911?! Are they also unclear on the concept of cell phones?! I didn't even know that there were pay phones around anymore! Then again, I don't live in Flori-duh.) "Hinton hung up when a dispatcher answered, but deputies were already responding and found Hinton near the phone." I find it difficult to believe that there wasn't some other pressing issue for the officers to tend to other than a pay phone using, 911 calling, rideless guy, but at least they're doing their job! Can't complain about that.
Meanwhile, since Florida is such a completely sane and stable area of the country, we have a woman over in Niceville who was not being very nice. Again, according to the UPI account of this incident, a woman was arrested "...for attacking a smoker with air freshener sprayed from a can." Of course she was. What now?
It would seem that said fresh scent wielding woman was "...waving the can of Glade Potpourri Air Freshener around the other woman's head while dispensing its contents at a Niceville apartment complex." Again, not very nice. And surprisingly, that had no effect upon Smokey Smokerson, who kept right on a-puffin'. That's when the woman (allegedly) "... pointed the can at the back of the other woman's head and sprayed it for nearly a full minute."
Now, a minute is a long time if you're spraying a fresh summer's breeze at someone's head. But I'd think it would be even longer for the person who was the target of said refreshing aerosol based scent. If someone is spraying air freshener at me in that fashion, I'm certainly not going to just sit there for an entire minute as they do so! Why didn't this person get up and deck this lady? (Oh. Wait. Flori-duh. Maybe the Rascal scooter that they use to get around had malfunctioned in some manner. Or perhaps the oxygen tubing got tangled up somewhere. You can't swing a dead cat in Flori-duh without hitting someone on oxygen.)
According to the police, the crazy spraying woman told them, "I will do it again, and take it to the Supreme Court because I have the right to breathe fresh air." Um, yeah. That's about your typical Florida argument right there. Quoting things that don't exist. That and/or pretending to know what's in the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. See, while I agree that breathing fresh air is desirable, I'm not really recalling it being in the Bill of Rights OR the Constitution. Let's see...freedom of speech...right to arm bears...a warrant would be nice...speedway trials....unusual crullers....huh. Nope. Nothing about fresh air in there.
And to complete the Flori-duh trifecta, we saunter on over to Tallahassee where the AP informs us of a one Richard Irby who is a "...55-year-old man known for biking around Tallahassee wearing nothing but a thong". Well, this can't end well.
Said Mr. Irby "...is facing a misdemeanor charge of disorderly conduct for exposing himself." What did I tell ya? Not ending well. Any sort of grundle exposure is not a well ending.
Mr. Irby is 6-foot-3 and weighs 220 pounds. And he was wearing a thong. JUST a thong. Well, yes, I'd say that he WAS exposing himself at SOME point, as I don't think that a thong is designed to contain 220 pounds of a 6 foot, 3-inch cyclist! It's barely designed to contain anything, let alone...THAT!But let's just think about this for half a second. :::shudder:::: Yes, yes! I know it's not pleasant. Half a second, that's all!
TampaBay.com reports that "...Irby suffered a traumatic brain injury while in high school." Ah-ha! And another piece of the puzzle falls into place. "Almost four decades later, he still walks and speaks with difficulty. Problems with concentration and a tendency to behave oddly keep him from working." Really? "A tendency to behave oddly"? Really? A guy busting around town on a bike wearing a banana hammock is behaving oddly? Thanks for that, Captain Obvious.
OK, look, this one has a pretty simple solution. It seems pretty clear that the guy wasn't trying to expose himself. I also don't think that he's trying to hurt anyone or offend anyone. That being said however, I don't think that he has the ability to exercise discretion in certain situations...like those requiring pants. If there's any sort of rational thinking going on at the DA's office there in Tallahassee, they'll make a deal with this guy. They'll tell him he has to at least wear a pair of shorts when he rides his bike. If they don't have any complaints about him riding with just a thong for the next...6 months? Is that fair? 6 months with no "Oh, my God!" complaints and the charges get dropped? Seems reasonable to me.
Then again, pants seem reasonable to me. Someone get that guy some trousers and let's hope that sanity prevails for this one.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Here's the scoop: Microsoft ran a photo ad for Microsoft's business productivity software on their website. The photo shows three people in some sort of business meeting. There's an Asian guy, a black guy and a white woman. All three appear to be just giddy with interest at whatever the woman is doing there with her little remote thing. I'm guessing she's not looking for a ball game, which is unfortunate. (Nothing makes the work day go by faster like watching some ball.) Behold!
Now, if you just glance at the photo, I doubt anything in particular is going to jump out at you. But if you look at it for a minute, you might notice that something just doesn't seem right. There's something amiss(and it's not the chick). For instance, the guy in the middle, why does he have a big ol' jack-o'lantern head there? It's way too big for that body that it's on. And the guy on the end? Where's the rest of his hand?!
Seriously, how do you miss something like that if you're the one doing the editing? Wouldn't it have just been easier to get another stock photo and make two different ads? I'm thinking it would have, but what do I know? I've always been white. Kind of like that computer. I don't recall Microsoft based computer products coming with that nifty white finish that the laptop in the photo is sporting. No, the only laptops that I recall seeing come in white were.....oh. Macs. Again....awk-ward.
They sure didn't try very hard to cover up that it's a Mac in the photo. Why would they do that? Was it someone's last day? Was there a surge in the hiring of the mentally handicapped? Free food in the lunchroom? I don't get it. You're advertising Microsoft products and you're displaying a Mac. Nice job, Mac-hole! Too bad someone couldn't have explained that concept to said awful, hopefully now unemployed, Photoshop guy. Perhaps at the same time they could have explained that you need to have your peripherals plug INTO something!
Then there was another Microsoft ad, this one for Office. The picture they're using is like some sort of M.C. Escher inspired track runner. Where does he start? Where does he end? Where is the never ending staircase on his head?
Take this gem from both ASUS and MSI who, apparently, both decided to use the same stock photo for their ad. MSI, however, decided to enhance theirs just a bit. I'm guessing because they have a huge client base of elves.
But I think that my favorite is probably this ad for a computer desk. Thanks for PC World for highlighting this bit of amusement for me. Judging from the size of the monitor and the style of the clothing (not to mention the Bowl Extreme haircut on the blond chap there), I'm guessing we're looking at a preview of the first budding Internet porn addict.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Olbermann isn't just behind in viewers to O'Reilly; he's behind in viewers to almost everyone. Olbermann is just barely ahead of 127-year old Larry King (Barely A-)Live. And those numbers were for the 8pm time slot. If the shows had aired earlier, Larry King might well have beaten Olbermann, as by 8pm, most of the people who watch Larry King (who are at least as old as he is) have been in bed for 3 hours.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
The Fox News affiliate in Cleveland, Fox8, did a piece back around June 25, 2009 about a black bear that had made its way into a northeast Ohio neighborhood and had been sighted by several residents. Since there are hardly ever bears in Cleveland, this is definitely a news story. However, it would appear that what is also a news story is that you can produce a news story for television with a) very little experience in doing so, b) the skills of a kindergartner and c) very little hesitation in airing the piece (which resembles that done for a class project...that you'll end up getting a "C" on) on actual television.
The segment starts off harmlessly enough, with a woman talking about how she called 911 after spotting a bear in her wooded yard. The reporter, a one Todd Meany, is narrating and after only about 12 seconds, you hear a sentence that indicates great hilarity will be ensuing shortly. He says, "Nina was too stunned to get a picture, but here's what the bear probably looked like...except real." And with that the viewer sees a cardboard cut-out shaped like a bear, propped up next to a tree in the woods. Good Lord people. Behold!
Oh. So it really is a cardboard cutout of a bear. Sort of a stand-in for the real bear which was unavailable for the filming of this segment. While I find this highly amusing, it's also a tad bit disturbing. Next thing you know, we'll be getting rid of the weather forecasters and just having some sort of cut-out ladybug on the wall wearing a raincoat if it's going to rain or watering flowers if it's going to be sunny. Why not get rid of all of the newshole newscasters as well?! We'll have the South Park kids read the news. They're cutouts. Sort of.
And while I'm sure it's hard to imagine, it actually gets better after the first shot of the reenactment bear. You can't just recreate the bear without explaining what it is that the bear might have done! Thus, you guessed it, we are then treated to seeing how the bear might have ran if it were real and if it were there.
For reasons that are inexplicable, the large rabbit fellow there came on the screen as they were telling the viewer that bears do not want to eat humans or other creatures. Which makes perfect sense. Whenever I'm explaining the food chain of a particular animal, I always break out and don the big bunny costume to really hammer home my point. (And if I actually did that, my point would be that I'm insane.)