Did you hear that Justin Bieber allegedly got into some sort of a scuffle with a paparazzi photographer? According to the Daily Mail, the photographer is claiming that he was "...roughed up by the young pop star at a shopping center." He also "...complained of pain to his chest." Oh, please.
Have you seen Justin Bieber ever? The guy is barely 18 years old and looks like he might weight 90 pounds if he were soaking wet. And this photographer guy is saying that he assaulted him? Just how miniscule was this photographer? Does he really want to be known as the guy who couldn't handle a punch (whatever that would entail) from the extremely effeminate and rather wispy Justin Bieber? Dude, just go home. Don't mention a word of it to anyone. Save whatever dignity you might have as a paparazzo and just move on.
I don't know exactly what happened other than what's alleged by the photographer. But I do know that some of the pictures taken after the alleged "assault" are fairly amusing. They don't exactly show Mr. Bieber to be a seasoned fighter in any sense of the word. He looks more like a teenager who just rolled out of bed and is rather disoriented by his surroundings. Let's take a look at the "assailant". Behold!
Yeah, he looks real vicious there. And he has his little girlfriend picking up his hat for him. He can't pick up his hat, but he can hit a photographer? Why is his hair so messed up? Is it hat hair or is it from all of the alleged assaulting? Let's look at another.
He looks like a zombie. And by the way dude, nice socks. Yeah, white and green and purple striped socks. Real manly. Yet the photographer is insisting that the hunk of masculinity that you see above was able to hit him in the chest to an extent that required a call to 911? Maybe the photographer was a teenage girl. That would explain it. A little. Not entirely, but a little. Another picture, please.
Look at that one. He can barely balance himself enough to stand upright. Maybe it was windy outside and he's trying not to be blown over. And really, the medallions aren't helping his causes here. One more picture...
The purple shoes remind me of Grimace from McDonald's. And quite frankly, Grimace is more manly than Justin Bieber is. It'd be more believable if the paparazzi guy had said he was assaulted by Grimace. Look at him! He can't even put on his shoe without his 80-pound girlfriend holding him up! I'm supposed to believe that he assaulted someone enough to do damage? I think not.
All of these women who are so up in arms about rotund blowhard Rush Limbaugh calling some chick a slut really need to calm down and set some priorities. Do you really want to give the guy any more attention that he already has on a daily basis with his incredibly large radio show audience? (Who are you people who can listen to this guy? It's just like, his opinion, man. Why would you want to sit and listen to someone pontificate about the days events in only a way as to skew it toward the point of view that he favors? I just want facts and then a discussion about the facts. Oh, throw in a little humor and we're good.) Can't they focus on real matters?
Take Ross Mirkarimi for example. Mr. Mirkarimi is the sheriff of San Francisco. See, he had been charged with multiple things like child endangerment and domestic violence after a New Year's Day kerfluffle with his wife that left her with bruised arms. Yeah, that's not cool for any dude to do, but when you're sheriff I really think that you should avoid breaking the law. Call me crazy! It's just one of those things with me.
But get this: Yesterday or the day before he pled guilty to one charge of false imprisonment and the rest of the more serious charges (including the ones that were felonies) were dropped. Shocking that the sitting sheriff would get some sort of a sweet deal, ain't it? Yeah, not quite so much. So they've got a sheriff that's been convicted of false imprisonment of his wife. And do you think he's stepping down? Uh-uh. He's just going to go about business as usual. And it's questionable (and leaning toward unlikely) if there's a legal reason for him to be booted out by the mayor or someone else. So he's going to be the sheriff! Where are all of the women protesting this S?
No where. There is a ton of public outrage because of something Rush Limbaugh simply said on his radio show. This is a guy who is violent toward women! Actual violence! Contrary to what people must believe based upon their reaction to the slut incident, we're gonna survive being called names. It's not gonna kill us. (We're not all the dainty little flowers that people like President Barry think that we are to the point that he needs to call one of us up to "see if she's OK". Please.) But being beaten up by a guy? That could kill someone! And where are the protests? Where is the outrage? Where are the women flipping out because a sheriff has been convicted of false imprisonment (of his wife) and is still planning on being sheriff?! NO where. There just aren't any.
We are a sad little country. I guess people are just so distracted by any shiny object that comes along (and when you're as big and shiny as Rush Limbaugh, I realize that it's hard to look away) that they must get blinded and unable to see it when a real issue actually does come along! The sheriff had a physical altercation with his wife that included some sort of imprisoning falsely! And he's still sheriff! Where's the outrage?! Where are the protests?! Why are you letting yourselves be distracted by Rush Limbaugh and his meaningless comments about some law school student? No one wants to take away your birth control! It's not going to happen! Just calm down and focus! What is wrong with you people?! God, we're doomed.
More on this guy tomorrow. Holy crap, will there definitely be more. It's absolutely worthy of a very thorough analysis. (I have been swamped lately and find myself falling behind on posting daily in a timely fashion. Thus, I'm resorting to a two-parter in order to keep up.) And really, just his hat (with the silhouette of a woman on all fours emblazoned in a stars and stripe pattern) could warrant its own post. Where does one get an item of apparel such as that? I'm guessing maybe every gas station in the south?
Well, well, well. It has been quite the weekend for "celebrity" arrests. By "celebrity" I mean Andy Dick and Gary Coleman, hence the quotation marks. Let's just see what these two have been up to lately, shall we?
Mr. Dick, er...I mean...wait. That IS his name, right? I guess I should call him that, right? Right. But it just doesn't sound right. You know what I mean? Why hasn't he changed that? Has that been his name his whole life? Oh, God! What if he DID change it and that's what he changed it TO! Now that would be a head scratcher. (Um, no pun intended, but if you see the humor in it, so be it.) Andy. I'm going to call him Andy.
According to a police report made available by the gods of gossip over there atTMZ, Andy was "...arrested in West Virginia...on two counts felony counts of sexual abuse in the first degree." Huh. Details please.
According to the article, "Dick was talking to a guy when he "unexpectedly and without invitation grabbed the victim's crotch, repeatedly groping then kissing him."Also in the complaint, a security guard at the bar says that Andy Dick "grabbed his crotch and began laughing" when the guard tried to give him an armband." Huh. So...felonious crotch grabbing of a jovial nature. Nice. Where was this again? West Virginia? Yeah, but where in West Virginia? Some place called Rum Runners? Wait. Let me double check that and make sure that it wasn't Rump Runners. Hmmm...nope. Nope, it really was Rum Runners. Nice.
This isn't the first time that Andy has been in trouble. No, again according to TMZ, back in 2008 he was arrested in the parking lot near a Buffalo Wild Wings restaurant after witnesses told officers that Andy "...approached two women as he left the restaurant. He allegedly walked up to a 17-year-old girl, grabbed her tank top and bra and pulled them down, exposing her breasts." He seems to have issues with all of the grabbing and the not being able to keep his hands to himself. I wonder if he missed the days of kindergarten in which that particular subject matter was covered.
TMZ has a copy of the complaintif you'd care to peruse it for yourself. They also have several photos purporting (translation: totally) to show Andy before he was arrested. Here are just a couple of those photos. Behold!
Yeah, I could see where there could allegedly be some alleged crotch grabbing in or around situations such as this one. And we're sure it wasn't Rump Runners? Huh. I guess the only question left is what in the hell Andy Dick was doing in West Virginia in the first place, eh?
Moving on to our next "celebrity" arrest of the weekend is one of my favorite "celebrities", a one Gary Coleman. Mr. Coleman, as you may or may not choose to remember, played the diminuitive Arnold in the sitcom Diff'rent Strokes. Ah, the sitcoms of yore. All you needed was a very short child injected into the script at some point and you had yourself a hit for some reason. Clearly, those were much simpler times with apparently much simpler people. God, we watched a lot of sappy crap in the 70s.
Mr. Coleman is no stranger to controversy as well. He has been arrested numerous times for numerous offenses, most of them involving assault of some form or another. I'm not quite sure how he is assaulting all of the folks that he allegedly did, but I'm guessing there was a phone book for him to stand on involved somehow.
Anyway, word just came across the wire (I've always wanted to say that) that Mr. Coleman was arrested for domestic assault down in Santaquin, Utah and is currently being held on $1,725 bail. Now, I've been to Santaquin. There isn't a whole lot around there and there certainly aren't a whole lot of people either. I think the population is around 8,000, which isn't quite as much as the 12,000 or so people in Payson, UT where he was arrested in 2008 for striking a man in a bowling alley parking lot with his car. Apparently, small towns really enrage Gary Coleman.
Given as how there aren't a whole slew of folks to choose from down there and given that the charge is domestic assault, I'm guessing that the victim is his Amazon wife, Shannon Price. Those two haven't had the smoothest of relationships. They relationship was dangerous at best before they got married and weird as hell after they got married. When they went on Divorce Court to discuss their issues, it was revealed that they had never consummated their relationship. I don't know if it was due to Mr. Coleman not being able to find a ladder or what, but I still find it odd that something couldn't have been worked out.
It was also revealed on the Divorce Court show that Mr. Coleman seems to have not only anger management issues, but also taking responsibility issues. (Can you have an issue with something that you don't have? He doesn't seem to take much responsibility for these things.) According to a transcript: "If he doesn’t get his way, he throws a temper tantrum like a 5-year-old does,” Price complains.“He like stomps the floor and yells, ‘Meehhhh,’ and starts throwing stuff around. He bashes his head in the wall, too.” Coleman counters that “the male is always the bad guy,” but acknowledges he does have his demons." Head bashing? Meeehhhh? How I would love to be a fly on the wall during one of those arguments. My life could very well be complete after witnessing something like that.
But that's in the past. So even though details are scarce at the moment with his current situation, what better way to focus on the present than to take a gander at his mugshot. Behold!
Oh, I can already tell....this one is gonna be rich. Stay tuned, won't ye?
Look, I am all for stepping up and admitting that you are wrong. I'm even more in favor of taking that sort of responsibility when you were vehemently asserting that you were right; that, of course, before finding out that you were indeed wrong. But here's an aspect of all of this to consider. When asserting your correctness, try to do so without getting all assault-y and psychotic on the other person. Oh, and if you do lose your head and, oh, I don't know, say...punch the other person in the face and hold a pair of scissors to their throat until they give you twenty bucks, but then you find out that you were wrong, what say you just send them their twenty bucks back along with an apology card or something. Don't go back to where you acted like a maniac so that you can apologize in person. I mean, it's very commendable, don't get me wrong, but it's also a very good way to get yourself arrested.
Here's the scoop according toDelmarvaNow.com: A woman goes to get some gasoline at a Country Farms convenience store in Delaware and gives the clerk a $20. Well, she thought it was a $20. The clerk said it was a $1. She told him it was a $20. He told her it was a $1.
Twenty!
One!
Twenty!
One!
Rabbit season!
Duck season!
Rabbit season!
Duck season!
It's unclear as to how long that little exchange (minus the talk about the ducks and rabbits) went on before the woman decided that there was no way that she was going to let this lying, scheming, scamming, convenience store clerk bilk her out of her hard acquired $20. So that's when she did the most reasonable thing in a situation like that. That's right; she started pummeling him with her fists. Meet Vicki Gambrell. Behold!
OK, that's about right. Yeah, so she starts just beating the crap out of poor Apu or whoever was working that day. Actually, it was a guy named Manoj Moda who took the brunt of Vicki's wrath. He kept telling her that she had only given him a dollar and she kept telling him that she had given him twenty dollars. Obviously her method of trying to convince Manoj that she had given him a $20 were ineffective, as he still wasn't agreeing with her despite all of the pounding and beating he was enduring. So she decided to try a different tactic. And when she spied a pair of scissors sitting there behind the counter, she knew just what that tactic would be!
Vicki then grabs the scissors and holds them up to Manoj's throat. Of course. (That's what I would have thought a reasonable person would have done next...reached for the pointy instruments of doom.) It was at that point that Manoj realized that talking with Vicki was doing no good what so ever and that it would probably be best if he just gave her the twenty bucks. Even though he knew that she had only given him a dollar, I'm guessing he figured that twenty bucks was a pretty cheap price to pay for not having your throat ripped open by a crazy woman wielding scissors. Extremely cheap.
She takes "her" twenty bucks and leaves. It was after she left that she looked in her purse and Whoopsie!! Wouldn't you know it?! Manoj was right! She did give him a one because there was the twenty in her purse! Silly, silly! Ha! Hoo-boy! That's gotta be embarrassing! All of the fighting and the threatening to cut someone's throat because you thought they stole from you and they didn't and now you know that they were telling the truth? Wow. That's going to be quite the story you'll have to tell one day, that's for sure. And Vicki decided to start by telling that story to Manoj when she returned to give him back the twenty that he had given her when he was fearing for his life. Wait. What?
Correct. She went back to the store to tell him she was sorry. Now, like I started off with, I find that very commendable, but did she not have any idea that doing so might get her arrested? Either that never entered her mind or she didn't care because she did go back and she did get arrested. Shocking, I know. When arrested, she "was charged with offensive touching and aggravated menacing." Wait. What now?
Offensive touching?! Well, I should say SO! Having someone pummel me with their fists is definitely some touching that I would find to be offensive! What in the hell ever happened to just plain ol' "assault" over there in Delaware, anyways? Offensive touching? And what was the other one? Aggravated menacing?! Is there a type of menacing that is not aggravated that you can be charged criminally with in Delaware? Like passive menacing or something? Granted, I do find someone holding scissors up to my throat very menacing indeed, but I was just wondering if they differentiated between aggravated and non-aggravated menacing considering it sounds like such a moronic charge to begin with.
The news video from NBC Philadelphia is below if you'd like to see Manoj get pummeled for yourself. The weird thing for me though? After I watched it, Vicki seemed like she was really sorry that she completely lost her mind there. She said, "I’m sorry it was just a bad mistake I have a clean record and never been in trouble in my life and it was just a bad mistake. I just lost my cool because here I don’t have any money. I am very embarrassed. I am so embarrassed." I have no idea if she's telling the truth about the "clean record" or not, but I do know that people that really know that they screwed up do tend to be embarrassed about it. People who are just feeding you a line of crap to get out of what they've done? Those folks never say that they're embarrassed. And she did inexplicably go back there to return the twenty bucks in person. So maybe she did just snap for a moment there. We'll see how it turns out in court for her when she goes. But I think it's safe to say that in this instance she MAY have overreacted.
Sadly, there's still a need in Florida for some sort of PSA on the appropriate reasons to call 911. Honest to
God, I did not think that it was that difficult for folks to comprehend and understand what the definition of an emergency is. And I understand that there's a wide range of things which DO constitute an emergency, but not being able to find your car keys isn't one of them. Jackass.
According to an article over there at UPI, a one Lin Xu (pronounce that however you'd like to), age old-enough-to-know-better-by-27, "...called 911 several times early Saturday from a pay phone outside of a Walgreens store in Boynton Beach."The article doesn't state what it was that he told the 911 operator, but whatever it was, it was enough for officers to actually show up!He told them that "... he called the emergency line because he lost his house key." To which, I'm assuming, the officers response was, "And....?" I'm thinking that there might have been alcohol involved due to Mr. Unpronounceable giving the officers an address in Texas. And that is where the UPI report of this account goes a bit astray when they include "... it was not clear whether he recently moved to Florida or was visiting at the time of the incident." What now? It wasn't clear if he lived there or was visiting? Did he have ID? How do they not know that? What part exactly wasn't clear? Are those the only two choices? Florida and Texas? Perhaps the gentleman was from a, um...a...foreign land and was, um.....visiting! Yeah, that's it! Visiting our fine nation, perhaps unannounced and unexpected (with no intent of ever leaving)!
If so, then it would have made perfect sense to a one Monte Hilton to call 911 for a ride home, as that's what he did on August 25 in Tampa. The guy needed a ride, so he went to a pay phone and called 911. (What is it with folks in Florida who are unclear on the concept of 911?! Are they also unclear on the concept of cell phones?! I didn't even know that there were pay phones around anymore! Then again, I don't live in Flori-duh.) "Hinton hung up when a dispatcher answered, but deputies were already responding and found Hinton near the phone." I find it difficult to believe that there wasn't some other pressing issue for the officers to tend to other than a pay phone using, 911 calling, rideless guy, but at least they're doing their job! Can't complain about that. Meanwhile, since Florida is such a completely sane and stable area of the country, we have a woman over in Niceville who was not being very nice. Again, according to theUPI account of this incident, a woman was arrested "...for attacking a smoker with air freshener sprayed from a can." Of course she was. What now? It would seem that said fresh scent wielding woman was "...waving the can of Glade Potpourri Air Freshener around the other woman's head while dispensing its contents at a Niceville apartment complex." Again, not very nice. And surprisingly, that had no effect upon Smokey Smokerson, who kept right on a-puffin'. That's when the woman (allegedly) "... pointed the can at the back of the other woman's head and sprayed it for nearly a full minute."
Now, a minute is a long time if you're spraying a fresh summer's breeze at someone's head. But I'd think it would be even longer for the person who was the target of said refreshing aerosol based scent. If someone is spraying air freshener at me in that fashion, I'm certainly not going to just sit there for an entire minute as they do so! Why didn't this person get up and deck this lady? (Oh. Wait. Flori-duh. Maybe the Rascal scooter that they use to get around had malfunctioned in some manner. Or perhaps the oxygen tubing got tangled up somewhere. You can't swing a dead cat in Flori-duh without hitting someone on oxygen.)
According to the police, the crazy spraying woman told them, "I will do it again, and take it to the Supreme Court because I have the right to breathe fresh air." Um, yeah. That's about your typical Florida argument right there. Quoting things that don't exist. That and/or pretending to know what's in the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. See, while I agree that breathing fresh air is desirable, I'm not really recalling it being in the Bill of Rights OR the Constitution. Let's see...freedom of speech...right to arm bears...a warrant would be nice...speedway trials....unusual crullers....huh. Nope. Nothing about fresh air in there. And to complete the Flori-duh trifecta, we saunter on over to Tallahassee where theAP informs us of a one Richard Irby who is a "...55-year-old man known for biking around Tallahassee wearing nothing but a thong". Well, this can't end well.
Said Mr. Irby "...is facing a misdemeanor charge of disorderly conduct for exposing himself." What did I tell ya? Not ending well. Any sort of grundle exposure is not a well ending.
Mr. Irby is 6-foot-3 and weighs 220 pounds. And he was wearing a thong. JUST a thong. Well, yes, I'd say that he WAS exposing himself at SOME point, as I don't think that a thong is designed to contain 220 pounds of a 6 foot, 3-inch cyclist! It's barely designed to contain anything, let alone...THAT!But let's just think about this for half a second. :::shudder:::: Yes, yes! I know it's not pleasant. Half a second, that's all!
This guy is known as the Bicycling Bikini Man. This is what he does. People know that. I'm not sure if it's OK with people that he does this, or if they're just used to it (as much as you can get used to seeing a 220 pound guy with a thong go a-pedalin' past you), but there has to be something else going on here. If he was just out to bike around in as little as possible, you can still get that same effect by wearing something other than a thong. Those really short NBA shorts from the late 70s and early 80s, for example. Those are short, yet they would contain ones nether regions a hell of a lot better than your basic plum smuggler would! But yet he chooses the thong. That leaves us with two choices. He's either a pedophile or he's not quite right in the head. Possibly both, definitely not neither.
TampaBay.com reports that "...Irby suffered a traumatic brain injury while in high school." Ah-ha! And another piece of the puzzle falls into place. "Almost four decades later, he still walks and speaks with difficulty. Problems with concentration and a tendency to behave oddly keep him from working." Really? "A tendency to behave oddly"? Really? A guy busting around town on a bike wearing a banana hammock is behaving oddly? Thanks for that, Captain Obvious.
OK, look, this one has a pretty simple solution. It seems pretty clear that the guy wasn't trying to expose himself. I also don't think that he's trying to hurt anyone or offend anyone. That being said however, I don't think that he has the ability to exercise discretion in certain situations...like those requiring pants. If there's any sort of rational thinking going on at the DA's office there in Tallahassee, they'll make a deal with this guy. They'll tell him he has to at least wear a pair of shorts when he rides his bike. If they don't have any complaints about him riding with just a thong for the next...6 months? Is that fair? 6 months with no "Oh, my God!" complaints and the charges get dropped? Seems reasonable to me.
Then again, pants seem reasonable to me. Someone get that guy some trousers and let's hope that sanity prevails for this one.
You might not agree with stuff that your boss tells you about your job performance. And if that's the case, really the best thing you can do for yourself in that situation is anything that doesn't validate what it is that your boss claims to be true. For example, if your boss claims you're always late? Don't be late, that is correct. If your boss claims you don't work on the Penske account? Work on the Penske account, that is also correct. If your boss claims that you have poor job performance? Beat him senseless with an aluminum baseball bat, that is....wait. What now?
Yes, it would seem that in New Haven, CT at the Wal-Mart store, a one 26-year old Barry Griffin had been "...reprimanded for the second time in a few days" by the assistant manager, a one 29-year old George Freibott. That according to the New Haven Register. It would seem that Mr. Freibott wrote Mr. Griffin up for "poor job performance". Mr. Griffin, apparently completely befuddled as to where such an allegation would come into play, was "...captured on the store’s security system...grabbing a bat from a display rack in the sporting goods section." (I'm guessing that if there wasn't a valid basis for the "poor job performance" prior to that point, there was going to be one shortly afterwards!)
So allegedly, after being told of his alleged "poor job performance" and "grabbing a bat" (allegedly) the same security footage showed Mr. Griffin "...finding Freibott in the toy area of the store" where he then engaged in a few rounds of "Human Pinata" as he began beating Mr. Freibott, striking him no less than a dozen times while in the aisle of the toy department. Allegedly.
Wow. Talk about your mood swings. (I'll be here all week.)
And as if it bears any relevance to the events at all, the article also noted that "An employee told police Griffin appeared to be in good spirits earlier during the shift, but his mood turned." Really? He didn't spend his entire shift beating the man with a bat? No kidding "his mood turned." Go figure. Do you think it might have had anything at all to do with being written up for poor job performance? Allegedly? Do you think that might have been the cause of all of the alleged mood turning? I'm guessing it had something to do with it. I'm also guessing that the fact that Mr. Griffin seems to have anger management issues had even more to do with it than being written up.
Said assumed anger management issues would appear to be documented through court records which show "a 2007 conviction for third-degree assault" for which he "received a suspended sentence." And there is also "...a pending assault case in Superior Court in Meriden, according to a judicial database." Surprise. Well, his assault trifecta is now complete as he will be charged with first-degree assault and breach of peace just as soon as they can find him. He apparently fled before police arrived. That's going to make going back for his last check a little awkward I'd imagine. I wonder if the other aspects of this man's life are as ironic as this incident. Ironic and assault-y. Allegedly.
When a story comes from The Local, Sweden's News in English, you know it's going to be good. No exception here with this headline: "Boyfriend blames ADHD for genital tattoo abuse." God, I love the Swedish press.
Apparently what we have here is a 25-year old guy from Umea (that's in northern Sweden, in case you're reading this today without your globe or atlas) who has been charged with aggravated assault of his girlfriend which included, among other things, "...tattooing his name and ID number on her sexual organs." Well, that's a little murky, how about some details?
He doesn't just have the one assault charge. No, he has 17 assault charges. And he took his time to rack them up also, as they took place over a period of five years. Why it hadn't been dealt with before then is anyone's guess and it wasn't explained in the article. But that's OK because there's better stuff to get into! Hoo-boy, is there. The man is accused of "...punching his girlfriend on several occasions between 2004 until February 2009 when the woman left him." (Maybe she was busy, we don't know.) It would seem that it really takes something fairly extreme for this woman to leave such a relationship. And I'm not talking fairly extreme by my standards or by your standards. I'm talking fairly extreme for a person who is not quite right. Aside from the five years with all of the punching, he is also accused of "...assaulting her with a fork and re-opening the head wound as it began to heal." No word on whether or not the same utensil was used in the re-opening as was used in the initial opening of said head. He is also accused of "...forcing her to consume his medicine to ensure that she kept him company during the time that he was awake." (Translation of "his medicine": Meth. I'm guessing.)
Well, see, THAT explains it! She knew how LONELY he was, so she stayed. Or, perhaps, she's just a little fuzzy on what a healthy relationship entails. (Here's a hint: No forks in the head. Ever.) But I don't know how she'd be able to explain staying, yes staying, staying with hm after he allegedly "forced her to submit to a tattoo on her sexual organs - of his name and personal identification number." All rightee then. I don't rightly know what to say about that, other than OW!OW!OW!OW!OOWWW!!!!
Personal identification number? Like his Social Security Number? Not that it matters, mind you, I'm just curious. Was he planning on spending the rest of his life with her and went to that extreme measure to ensure that just in case he forgot his wallet, if she was with him (and remember, he sounded lonely, so she would probably drugged up and by his side at all times in his little fantasy world) he'd always have that ID number. It'd be a little awkward on days she was wearing pants, I suppose. Oh, but I'm sure he thought this thing through enough. I'm sure he had a way around that! Since something like that is pretty hard to deny when you're on trial, he seems to have taken to just defending his actions with the most likely rationale that he could come up with. That being that he was "...suffering from the condition ADHD - attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder - and it resulted in him becoming angry at minor incidents which in turn caused him to turn violent." I see.
The problem with that defense, other than it's pathetic, is that it's kind of...um, what's the word I want? Oh, I've got it! Wrong. It's wrong. It seems to me that in order to, well, do anything, really, with a woman's genitalia requires a bit of effort and concentration. But in order to be able to TATTOO your name AND your personal identification number, um, down there, well that would seem to require a great deal, an IMMENSE deal of concentration in order to get the task at hand finished. (Good Lord, how painful must that have been? Tattooing. THAT. ON her. Yikes. Too bad she wasn't some sort of body builder because then she could have just crushed his skull between her knees like a vice. What an A-hole.)
And what, pray tell, what would be the "minor incident" that provoked Mr. ADHD there into grabbing the tattoo gun and going to town with it on her nether regions? Dinner not ready on time? Tattoo your girlfriends genitalia! Long day at the office? Blow off some steam by tattooing your girlfriend's genitalia! Can't get the bloody lawnmower to start? No worries! Just tattoo your girlfriend's genitalia and feel your problems just fade away! Are we really supposed to believe that a "minor incident" would result in a "major tattoo upon ones sexual organs"? I don't we are. I know that we can't!
So after all of that, after the cranium stabbed with fork incident...TWICE, after the five years of punching, after all of the staying awake to stave off loneliness, after all of that, none of it was enough to cause her to think to herself, "I wonder if there's something more for me out there." So what finally did it? What was the final straw? Ironically (in a way), "The woman finally decided to leave the man in mid-February 2009 when she suffered nerve and muscle damage in her legs after having been attacked with an axe."
So when he finally grabs the AXE and begins using it ON HER in an axe-like manner, that's when she begins to see the light and decides it's time to walk away from their fairy tale life together? When she's at the point where she literally CANNOT walk away, she decides to walk away? Interesting.
There are only two items in this sordid tale of 'Boy meets girl' that are encouraging. The first, obviously, is that she finally left. She might have limped away, she might have crawled away, but regardless as to how, she left. Excellent. The second is that this guy, having admitted to these actions and deciding to go with the "It was the ADHD" defense, is a pathetic moron who, I'm assuming, will likely be convicted. I mean, I know nothing is ever guaranteed or anything, especially in a legal system, but this seems like a pretty done deal in the arena of him being convicted. The only way it could be more of a lock would be if, say for instance, they found his blood with matching DNA at the crime scene and bloody gloves used in the attack behind his house and then he led police on a low-speed chase down an LA freeway. And I see this as being similar to a scenario like that, where the jury would have to be stocked full of fools in order for someone like the one in my example in order to not be convicted.
Oh. Whoops.
OK, the jury would have to be stocked full of fools in my "hypothetical" example in order to not be convicted. (Wow. Unfortunate choice to use for the sake of comparison there.)
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