Friday, June 1, 2012

HE Hit You?! Right.

Did you hear that Justin Bieber allegedly got into some sort of a scuffle with a paparazzi photographer?  According to the Daily Mail, the photographer is claiming that he was "...roughed up by the young pop star at a shopping center." He also "...complained of pain to his chest."  Oh, please. 

Have you seen Justin Bieber ever?  The guy is barely 18 years old and looks like he might weight 90 pounds if he were soaking wet.  And this photographer guy is saying that he assaulted him?  Just how miniscule was this photographer?  Does he really want to be known as the guy who couldn't handle a punch (whatever that would entail) from the extremely effeminate and rather wispy Justin Bieber?  Dude, just go home.  Don't mention a word of it to anyone.  Save whatever dignity you might have as a paparazzo and just move on. 

I don't know exactly what happened other than what's alleged by the photographer.  But I do know that some of the pictures taken after the alleged "assault" are fairly amusing.  They don't exactly show Mr. Bieber to be a seasoned fighter in any sense of the word.  He looks more like a teenager who just rolled out of bed and is rather disoriented by his surroundings.  Let's take a look at the "assailant".  Behold! 

Yeah, he looks real vicious there.  And he has his little girlfriend picking up his hat for him.  He can't pick up his hat, but he can hit a photographer?  Why is his hair so messed up?  Is it hat hair or is it from all of the alleged assaulting?  Let's look at another. 

He looks like a zombie.  And by the way dude, nice socks.  Yeah, white and green and purple striped socks.  Real manly.  Yet the photographer is insisting that the hunk of masculinity that you see above was able to hit him in the chest to an extent that required a call to 911?  Maybe the photographer was a teenage girl.  That would explain it.  A little.  Not entirely, but a little.  Another picture, please. 

Look at that one.  He can barely balance himself enough to stand upright.  Maybe it was windy outside and he's trying not to be blown over.  And really, the medallions aren't helping his causes here.  One more picture...

The purple shoes remind me of Grimace from McDonald's.  And quite frankly, Grimace is more manly than Justin Bieber is.  It'd be more believable if the paparazzi guy had said he was assaulted by Grimace.  Look at him!  He can't even put on his shoe without his 80-pound girlfriend holding him up!  I'm supposed to believe that he assaulted someone enough to do damage?  I think not. 

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