Thursday, June 14, 2012

It's IN The Name!

In a story that shows just how uptight some people can actually be, we have two women who were arrested for exposing their breasts whilst on a public golf course.  Oh, did I mention that it was during what had been dubbed a "naked golf tournament"?  Yeah, it was.  And they were (wait for it) naked.  Go figure. 

According to The Telegraph, "...a "naked" golf tournament was taking place at the golf course."  Now, I haven't played golf in a number of years, so I don't know if this is a new thing that happens frequently or just at the Woodlands Golf Club in unincorporated Madison County outside Alton city limits in Missouri.  But I do know that if I heard that there was a naked golf tournament going on, I wouldn't be all that surprised to see naked golfers.  OK, I might be a little surprised that anyone would willingly participate in such an event, but if that's what it's supposed to be, I don't know why anyone would have a problem with it. 

But as I'm sure that you've probably guess by now, someone obviously did have a problem with it.  A one Capt. T. Mike Dixon "...said investigators responded to the golf course in reference to a complaint of women exposing their sexual organs while on the golf course."  Well, of COURSE they were!  It was a naked golf tournament!  It's right there in the name!  Naked!  He went on to say that "...when investigators arrived they observed  Alicia L. Binford, 43, and Shelly L. Lewis, 45, "lewdly exposing their breasts on the golf course property."  Again, right there in the name.  Naked!  Oooh.  Wait a minute.  Maybe it's bad naked.  You know, there's way more bad naked out there than there is good naked.  Maybe this was a double case of bad naked.  Let's look at their mugshots.  Behold! 

OK, those two ladies are not going to be bad naked.  No, they're going to be good naked.  The one on the left kind of looks like Jennifer Aniston, for cryin' out loud!  How would that be bad naked?!  And I know I'm going to be repeating myself here, but since they were arrested, I feel that it needs to be reiterated that it was a naked golf tournament!!  Do we have a more revealing mug shot?  We do?!  Bring it! 

Yeah, they were obviously the very, very good (or at least perfectly acceptable) sort of naked.  Seriously, if you're calling the cops because you've just seen one (or even better, both) of these women in public without a shirt and with their presumably glorious breasts bared for all to see, you need to check yourself.  Especially if it's during a naked golf tournament.  (Have I said that enough?  I'm not sure that I have considering that they were arrested.) We might need more of this sort of thing, not less! 

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