Finally! My long suffering nightmare is over and Internet access has been restored to my house at last! Do you know what it's like to go three days without reliable Internet service in your home? It's like living in Darfur. Or the 1800s. What's even worse than the deplorable conditions that you're left with is all of the customer service reps that you are forced to talk to if you're ever to have any hope of restoring your service and fixing the problem. If this experience has taught me anything about customer service, it would have to be that they lie. Lie, lie and then lie some more! Whatever they need to do to get you off of the phone with a false sense that something is being done, they will do. And it is my very recent experience that lying is what they do best. Actually, once you catch on to the fact that they're so lying to you, you realize that they're not very good at it. They're not really good at many aspects of their job, really. Like the one guy who, after asking me for my name (which is definitely female), continued to call me "sir" for the rest of our conversation. It really doesn't do a whole lot for my demeanor when I've just been told that I won't have Internet access for three days and then I'm asked, "Is there anything else I can do for you, sir?" YES! You can give me back my f***ing Internet! AND STOP CALLING ME SIR!!!
Whew! But I digress. Once I returned to the world of the online, one of the first things I did was catch up on all of the cat videos that I had missed out on while I was living like some sort of peasant. After that, I checked in on Jimmy Kimmel to see if he had asked people about the outcome of the Super Bowl that hasn't even happened yet. He had. I was not disappointed. Welcome back, Internet. I've missed you.