Saturday, August 1, 2009

Not Giving Birth, but Having a Cow Instead

What's up with political groups or subsets of politicians being branded with (or promoting themselves as ) some cutesy little name? Has this been occurring for a while and I've just been able to tune it out until now? Or is this new? Whichever it is, the names are lame and the folks behind the names are often lamer. Seriously. Names such as the oft mentioned "Blue Dog Coalition" in the House of Representatives. That group had sort of evolved from the "Boll Weevils Group". Who in the hell names themselves the "Boll Weevils Group"? Aren't boll weevils those little beetle like things with poke-y ends on 'em? That's what you want your group to be associated with? As politicians?! What's up with that? Was Ladybug's Picnic already taken?

But of the groups with the ridiculous names, there's one that I cannot avoid hearing about no matter how hard I try (and believe me, I've TRIED!). Not only that, they have a cause that is just as non-sensible as their name is. Yes, I'm speaking of those nutjobs who have all joined together to form the largest mass of malfunctioning cerebral matter on the planet; those that we call 'The Birthers'.


I realize that it's very easy to get "The Birthers" confused with other names that might sound a lot like it. Like "The Idiots" or "The Morons" or "Too Much Time On Your Hands". It's very easy to misspeak and use one of those terms when the term that you were really looking for was "The Birthers". So if it keeps on happening to you, if you keep on saying "idiots" instead of "Birthers", just keep at it because you MAY actually get it someday. But if you don't, well, at least you're accurate.

The Birthers are not folks who have given birth, as the name might (and DOES) seem to suggest. No, the Birthers are folks who believe that President Barry, President Barack Hussein Obama, is not, repeat NOT a "natural born citizen" of this country, the good ol' US of A, and is thus not eligible to be our President. Um, wait. For reals?


Yep. For reals. According to the Political Hotsheet over there at CBS News, the whole thing started when President Barry was running for President. I'm guessing it was an offshoot movement to the whole "He might be a Muslim" tangent a bunch of softheaded folks became sidetracked with. So in an attempt to quell the fakeroversy that the Birthers had kicked up amongst themselves, Candidate Barry produced his certificate of live birth showing that he was born in Hawaii on August 4, 1961. Behold!


OK, so that's that right? Let's go home. What? That's not good enough? For whom? For whom is it not good enough? Well, for the Birthers, that's who. They say that his "birth certificate" isn't a "birth certificate" at all and that it's faked. The Birthers continue to (incorrectly) assert that he was really born in Kenya and that the document that is purported to be his "birth certificate" is really a faked up document. And that, my friends, is a pretty serious charge for someone to level. You'd think that someone would look into all of this controversy (er, FAKE controversy, ie, fakeroversy) that these Birther people stirred up and finally get to the bottom of this. What's that?


They DID? When? Numerous times, is the answer to that question. And it is not just the Obama Administration that has been claiming that President Barry is a citizen of the United States. Other groups have researched this and came to the same conclusion, that President Barry IS a citizen of the United States. FactCheck.org wrote a very well researched piece on this topic almost a year ago and yet the Birthers are STILL howling that he is not a citizen! It's almost inexplicable why, not just nutjobs are buying into this ridiculous theory, but it's being given steam AND airtime by folks who (previously) had credibility. Not sure where their credibility stands AFTER they've made it seem like there is ANY possibility that President Barry is NOT a citizen. It's really hard to find someone to be credible when they're just blowing crap like that around. Those if I were having to choose one reason as to why this continues to be an issue that sane people are made to listen to, I'd have to side with Donny Deutsch's reasoning as to why so many doubt Obama's citizenship: "Maybe because they're morons." Well said, sir. Well. Said.

Never mind that Honolulu health director Dr. Chiyome Fukino has said that "she personally seen and verified that the Hawaii State Department of Health has Sen. Obama’s original birth certificate on record in accordance with state policies and procedures." Never mind that there was a "birth announcement that had been published in the Honolulu Advertiser on Sunday, Aug. 13, 1961." And never mind that there IS a birth certificate EVEN THOUGH the title of the document is Certificate of Live Birth, IT'S THE SAME THING!

Pretty much, it's the announcement of the birth in the Honolulu Paper that really should have ended this whole thing as soon as that was produced. Because if THAT is faked as well, then what are you Birther people saying? Are you saying that almost 48 years ago, President Barry's mother and father placed a fake ad in the newspaper, announcing the birth of their son Barack, as to have it appear as if he were born in the United States. And they would do this because they just wanted to cover all of their bases just in CASE, SOME DAY far, far into the future, some suspicious sole would be looking for this very information to confirm their theory that the one they called Barry was born a US citizen. Meanwhile, the secret that the prodigal baby would carry with him for the rest of his life would stay hidden and the rest of their plan would slowly fall into place. And then one day it would all be worth it. That day would be the day on which this half white, half black, Kenyan born baby would be elected President of the United States. Just like they'd planned! Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaaa!!!!!!!


Honestly, do you people HEAR yourselves when you're spewing this stuff out? And you're able to sleep at night? I don't get it. What's the point? So that you can run around and think that you know something that the rest of us don't? Guess what? We know something that YOU don't! Actually, we know TWO things that you don't! We know that President Barry is a citizen of the United States AND we know that you're freaking crazy. Congratulations, Jerome Corsi! You're the jackass who got this whole ball rolling which, in turn, happened to get you a book deal and numerous TV and radio appearances for you to spew your ridiculousness and promote yourself. Huh. Upon further review, it would seem that you had immense help in getting this to the forefront where it currently tries to creep backward into the forgotten abyss of yesterday's news.

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