Friday, August 14, 2009

There's Something A-Myth


So people are freaking out and showing up in mass numbers to town hall meetings so that they can...um, wait. What is it that they're trying to do? It would seem as if they're inciting some sort of group shouting match which was honed to perfection by the audience of The Jerry Springer Show. Most of the shout-y folks seem to be disciples from the Church of Jerry Springer. All that's left for them to do is to start chanting in unison "MID-GET FIGHT!! MID-GET FIGHT!!" (Doesn't matter if there aren't any midgets around. Those type of folks really enjoy an offensive, inane chant.)

Some of your media types have actually had the audacity to pose the question, "What's all of this about?" Can they not figure out that people do NOT trust the politicians that THEY have elected to lead them? Can they not figure out that the people who have been elected have betrayed the trust of the people they are supposed to represent? Can they not figure out that people are really, REALLY tired of having to pay more taxes so that people who DON'T pay taxes can have all of the amenities that those who DO pay taxes have? Can they not figure out that people are SO tired of being ignored that they're going to do things in a way that makes it damn near impossible TO ignore them? (Unfortunately for them, this shout-y and "I'm crazy" method is going to make it damn near impossible to take them seriously. I might not be able to ignore a crazy, screaming person, (most likely holding a sign), but I can guarantee you I won't be listening to them.) And finally, can they not figure out that people are tired of being led by those who appear to be either uninformed, incompetent or, in many cases, both?

What to do? What to do? Well, speaking of incompetence, the White House decided that it was time to step into the anger quelling domain themselves and their leader for this mission was none other than a one David Axelrod. David Axelrod is the Senior Adviser to the President. I didn't know exactly what that meant, so I looked it up and apparently, it is what it says it is. He's an adviser. He advises. The "senior" part doesn't seem to mean much, as there are three of them. Maybe the other two could give HIM a little advice.

David Axelrod sent out an email to, well, everyone from what I can figure out. If you were on the WhiteHouse.gov mailing list, you likely received the email from David. (As long as he doesn't start forwarding every joke he ever gets or keep telling me I won the Nigerian lottery, I suppose it'll be all right.) It starts off saying that it's probably the longest email he's ever sent. It's not THAT long. Would you have preferred to have been able to Tweet it, Dave? Anyway, he mentions that they've launched www.WhiteHouse.gov/realitycheck to answer questions about the 1300+ page bill. He then goes on to say that in the email he will being to debunk all of the myths that have been bunked about the health care reform bill. He says that he's going to lay it all out in the email like this:

  • 8 ways reform provides security and stability to those with or without coverage
  • 8 common myths about reform
  • 8 reasons we need health insurance reform now

So far, good enough. He starts off with "8 ways reform provides security and stability to those with or without coverage" (I'm providing the abridged version of this and just giving each individual point without the explanation because really, how long do I need this to be? Not that long.):

  • Ends Discrimination for Pre-Existing Conditions
  • Ends Exorbitant Out-of-Pocket Expenses, Deductibles or Co-Pays
  • Ends Cost-Sharing for Preventive Care
  • Ends Dropping of Coverage for Seriously Ill
  • Ends Gender Discrimination
  • Ends Annual or Lifetime Caps on Coverage
  • Extends Coverage for Young Adults
  • Guarantees Insurance Renewal

Fine. Good to know about those 8 ways. What are the next 8, you ask? Good Lord, here's where things go horribly awry. Remember, these are the 8 common myths he is supposed to be listing.


8 common myths about health insurance reform:

  • Reform will stop "rationing" - not increase it:
  • We can’t afford reform:
  • Reform would encourage "euthanasia"
  • Vets' health care is safe and sound:
  • Reform will benefit small business - not burden it
  • Your Medicare is safe, and stronger with reform
  • You can keep your own insurance
  • No, government will not do anything with your bank account:


Good Lord man! What. The. Hell. Does he NOT understand that those are not the MYTHS that he just listed there, but rather, the dispelling of said myths?! If those were the myths, then what he's saying is:

  • It's a myth that "Reform will stop "rationing" - not increase it."? Thus, the reform will NOT stop rationing and it WILL increase it. See, THAT is the part that's the myth! The 2nd part. But the Senior Adviser erred in that instance.

  • It's a myth that "We can’t afford reform."? OK, he just should have left that one out, because NO ONE at the White House is saying how much this is going to cost overall. Now, there's the Congressional Budget Office which has said that this is NOT going to save us money and that it is going to cost us money, but really, who are they? The people that analyze these things for overall cost? Well, sure. Technically, they are. But is Congress supposed to listen to them and believe their analysis? Well, technically, sure. But who are they REALLY? Ah-HA! See?! You don't know. No one does. So forget about what they say.

  • It's a myth that "Reform would encourage "euthanasia" ". Finally! He got one right! Yes, no one is going to put down Grandpa because he's not feeling well. (I had to use Grandpa as the example of the relative getting put out to pasture, because it's always Grandma getting offed in all of the examples I read. Time to give Granny a break and do away with ol' Gramps there for a change.) If you think that euthanasia would be encouraged, please consult your health insurance plan to see if it covers a helmet and then get back to me.

  • It's a myth that "Vets' health care is safe and sound"? If that's the myth, then vets' health care is NOT safe and sound. That is, if you're taking the word of the senior adviser to the President.

  • It's a myth that "Reform will benefit small business - not burden it."? If that's the myth, prepare to be burdened.

  • It's a myth that "Your Medicare is safe, and stronger with reform."? Thus, your Medicare is NOT safe and stronger with reform. It's unsafe and weak as hell according to this. :::: sigh ::::

  • It's a myth that "You can keep your own insurance"? Axelrod translation: You CANNOT keep your own insurance. Wait. Yes, you can. Si se puede! (Whoops. Sorry 'bout that. Reminiscent of the campaign.)

  • And finally, it's a myth that "No, government will not do anything with your bank account"? Translation: Gimme.

Now, look, I know what he meant, but that doesn't change the fact that what he meant was not how he wrote the damn thing. Mind you, these are the sort of folks who are going to be in charge of implementing these programs. Fortunately for Mr. Axelrod, the shouters and the screamers are too busy exercising their vocal cords and stretching their pointing fingers to have noticed how the email was worded. If they ever pipe down enough to read something besides the other signs at the protests their attending, they would be all over it as if it's the new birth certificate conspiracy. Well, at least folks know he's not a Muslim.

Wait. What?

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