Thursday, March 20, 2008

Don't Spit, Don't Gaze, Don't Make It Rain. You're In China.

This year, the Summer Olympics will be held in China. China is a country under Communist rule, and while that really has nothing to do with any of this post, I felt the need to point out how holding the Olympics there comes across as a very strange way for the rest of the democratic world to to denounce Communism.

The Chinese are preparing for such an international event by translating a lot of their signs into English. The thing is, is that the Chinese to English translation process isn't always a smooth one because the languages don't translate directly. Thus, you guessed it, hilarity ensues.

We'll start with this sign which reminds us that that trend of packing your photographs to take with you when you are beamed back aboard the mother ship is SOOOOO out.

This sign helps all menorahs and squares find the "Way out" and instructs, "Asks you on own intiative to walk according to the scenic areaturnover line." Always needing to be polite (except during that Tiananmen Square debacle), the Chinese "Thanks the cooperation". And you should thank the cooperation too.

But you can't say that they don't do their part for the planet. Here, a waste receptacle is divided into two halves. One half is for recycling. The other half will undo the recycling. Thus always ensuring that the manufacturers of such receptacles are always in business.
The Chinese seem to be under the impression that the eyes of those who speak English will cause their relics to simply vanish to a place where they cannot be retrieve and to use caution when gazing directly at them. . (You should really use caution and avoid gazing directly at anyone's relics. Chinese or not.)

Aside from implied abilities of the vision of those who speak English, the Chinese also give us credit for having the ability to control the weather. Here, as the sign informs us, there will be "No Raining." This means you. Don't even think about it.

Well, at least they said "please" when asking us to do something with the bicycle. Manners are nice.

This card was handed out at a tea house in China. I have no idea what in the hell it is trying to say. Just drink your tea and move on.
Finally! A sign that I understand AND that seems reasonable. NO Spitting. Can't go wrong there in any language. (I love the dribble that they included. Nice touch, Communist Chinese to English Sign Translator Guys. Nice touch.)

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