Monday, May 26, 2008

Swedish Sexual Desires In English

Once again, our friends at The Local who provide us with our Swedish news in English, have given us more information that we didn't even know we were missing out on. According to The Local (in English), "Swedish mums are a kinky lot and want far more than they are actually getting, according to a survey done by trendy mummy magazine Mama." Oh, thank God for Sweden.


Now, I don't necessarily know if this is surprising to most people. I mean, because sex, done correctly, is a good thing. Done really correctly? Exactly. It's a really good thing (and it really was!). And can you get too much of a good thing? If it's sex? Not so much. Paying attention? "You can't get too much of a good thing if the good thing is sex!" (Does that sound like a personal service announcement/personal plea? Oh, totally. =) So it shouldn't surprise you that The Local reports that the Swedish mums "want more nookie and they want it now." Wow. They're rather demanding in Sweden. What else?

Well, "43% of the mums under age 29 own a dildo and almost 28% of those questioned in the Mama survey have checked out online porn." (Oh, please. 28 percent?!? Is this some sort of dyslexic survey? That should be 82 percent and even then, that figure seems low! Here's another stat: New Swedish mothers lie in English!) But even though they're checking out the online porn, 31 percent "think their man's freshly showered body is the greatest turn-on." But not all, because "7 percent of mums have been unfaithful after becoming mothers." (They're just bitter. They'll get over it.) Is there more?

You bet! "Back to the kinky stuff: 23 percent fantasize about other men or women during sexual intercourse. 37 percent of the younger mums (under age 29) have had lesbian fantasies." All right, now we're talking! We've just gone from new Swedish sexless mothers to European girl-on-girl action here! I love Sweden! (By the way, if there's 37 percent that are having the lesbian fantasies, it seems like there'd be plenty of them to hook up with each other some how. What?! I just want them to be happy, that's all!)

But here's what it's all about. According to the survey, "60 percent of mums simply want more frequent sex. They would like to have sex at least once or twice a week but only 38 percent of them actually get it that often." Once or twice a week? They're really not asking for much! Think about it! How hard would that be to get accomplished?! Not very! Once or twice? That's next to nothing! Why not have all the sex?! (Sensing a little foreshadowing here, are we? Maybe a little, sure. Oh, wait. For this post? Oh, not so much.)

The Local says that while many parents "downsize" their sexual activities once the children invade the household, they do what they can when they can, with 38 percent answering that they have had sex with the baby asleep in the room with them. (I don't find that in the least bit shocking. How many of us did the same thing in our college dorm with our roommate there? I mean, um, how many of you did that in your college dorm?) The article also says that although the new mothers are good at multitasking in their sleep, having sex isn't one of the things that they can multitask while sleeping. (What CAN they multitask while sleeping is what I want to know? Hey, and if they're asleep, maybe they CAN multitask sex. They just might not know about it! Hmmm...now that I think about it....this "multitasking while sleeping" dealio might explain a few things. Or at least a few people.)

And as always, The Local doesn't finish this story without going out in true Local fashion. The article concludes with, "The survey questioned 918 Mama readers in an Internet survey carried out in co-operation with RAM." And if there was a little more co-operation with RAM, these women wouldn't be complaining. (Research and Analysis of Media is what that really stands for. But really? It can stand for whatever you'd like it to.)

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