The survey also provided a write-in sections where those surveyed could write in what their "demands" would be for a better workplace. And, once again, their "demands" for a "better workplace" will shock you (or make you laugh. One of those.). Here are some of their "demands":
- Hot water in bathrooms. (OK, this is totally reasonable, which is why it's at the top.)
- Mace for protection. (Protection from WHAT? Do they work in Darfur?)
- Area to lay down for a quick nap during lunch. (It's called "your car". You'll find it out there in that uncovered parking lot.)
- Men’s room instead of unisex bathroom. (This, too, seems reasonable.)
- I wish the building had windows. (Are these people working out of a storage shed?)
- Take better care of the grounds, fix the kitchen, and make it not seem like a nursing home. (I'm really curious about the "nursing home" part of that. Are these people asking for more knitting and crocheting? Do they want their medication dispensed to them by an RN? More wheelchairs and walkers? What does that mean?)
- Security measures such as metal detectors and security guards. Bullet-proof glass would be an asset. (Good Lord, "bullet proof glass would be an asset"?! Clearly, this is an industry that really pisses people off a lot! And I'm dying to know what it is. But they seem to worry about people with metal items coming to harm them to the point they want metal detectors and security guards for protection.)
- Fix the roof so it doesn’t leak. (Again, from those telecommuting out of a hut in the Sudan?)
- Free parking. (What business makes their employees PAY to park? Who are those morons?)
- Better vending machine selection. (This does not exist. They all suck.)
Blumberg and Buddies did this survey to figure out what impact an office building's conditions has on the attitudes of workers. They found that one fifth of the employees felt that their productivity and motiviation was decreased by the condition of their building. (That assessment coming from those who need a "nap room" during lunch and list "covered parking" as their most desired perk. Take it for what you want. I'm just saying.) No word on if they're going to start beefing up security, covering the parking spaces or adding a shuffleboard court in the cafeteria.
So, what have we learned? Not much, really. What I got out of all of this is that I never want to work for any of the companies that the surveyed people are working for. Oh, and I don't think I want to work for Blumberg either.