- Number 10: My first act as President will be to stop the fighting between Lauren and Heidi on "The Hills."
- Number 9: In the Illinois Primary, I accidentally voted for Kucinich.
- Number 8: When I tell my kids to clean their room, I finish with, "I'm Barack Obama and I approved this message."
- Number 7: Throughout high school, I was consistently voted, "Barackiest."
- Number 6: Earlier today I bowled a 39.
- Number 5: I have canceled all my appearances the day the "Sex and the City" movie opens.
- Number 4: It's the birthplace of Fred Astaire. (Sorry, that's a surprising fact about Omaha.)
- Number 3: We are tirelessly working to get the endorsement of Kentucky Derby favorite Colonel John.
- Number 2: This has nothing to do with the Top Ten, but what the heck is up with Paula Abdul?
- And the Number One Surprising Fact About Barack Obama: I have not slept since October.
Yes, I know. It was painful to watch, but that's only because it looked painful to read! And a couple of those could have been pretty funny if the delivery had been better. Again, I'm not supporting any candidate in particular. I AM supporting good humor and the proper delivery of verbal amusement. But a particular candidate? Nah, I'm too annoyed with the butchering of the Top Ten to lend political support to anyone. Perhaps if I just put a picture of Obama Girl here for no reason at all it will end my annoyance.
Yeah, that really did help. I feel much better now.