And the part where it "keeps happening" is perpetuated by the infamous "lines" that are used during the breaking up or the relationship ending. (I'm not overly certain that "relationship ending" is any different than "breaking up", but in situations where it's hard to classify people as having been "together", the "relationship ending" seems to be a term that would fit. If you don't know what I'm referring to, that's great! Because that means that either a) you're totally unfamiliar with such a situation and the perils that accompany it or b) you didn't just dump me. Either one, very, very good.) The thing about the "lines" is this: They are used in a way to say one thing and to seemingly imply one thing, yet what they really mean is the exact opposite of what is said. This is where the comedy usually comes in the strongest. And the irony. Oh, the ironing. (See what I did there? Good.)
- "Breaking up is like knocking over a coke machine. You can't do it in one push, you've got to rock a while and then it goes over" (See? Employ the ol QCC and this doesn't happen.)
- "I've been searching for someone a long time. Well, the search is over! And now the search for the right psychiatrist begins." (And if you can recommend one, shoot me a message.)
- "Why is nice bad? What kind of a sick society are we living in when nice is bad?" (Yeah, nice is irrelevant.)
- "I wanted to talk about how we had nothing to talk about." (This could be my motto.)
- "I've never heard of a relationship being affected by punctuation." (Although this one might not make a lot of sense to all
sevensix of you reading this, I'm sure that it is applicable to a close to home situation somehow.)
- "I've driven women to lesbianism before, but never a mental institution." (This could be A motto.)
- "I'm in the unfortunate position of having to consider other people's feelings."
- "I think she finds my stupidity charming." (At first, perhaps. Don't count on it lasting.)
- "This woman is bending my mind into a pretzel." Thus, I'm off to soak my head in mustard.)
- "Do? Do? Hey, I'm doing what I do. You know, I've always done what I do. I'm doing what I do, way I've always done and the way I'll always do it." (Death-to -relationship" thinking right here.)
- "She thinks I'm a nice guy. Women always think I'm nice. But women don't want 'nice'" (Nope. Apparently they don't.)
- "Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason." (Indeed.)
- "It's not you, it's me.... You're giving me the 'It's not you, it's me' routine? I invented 'It's not you, it's me.' Nobody tells me it's them, not me. If it's anybody, it's me." (And even if you didn't invent "It's not you, it's me" and even if you didn't directly hear, "It's not you, it's me", trust me. It's you.)
And those are just from "Seinfeld", the show about nothing. When I switch over to "Friends", the show about something, then they really start to hit home (especially if you're the type who really liked the show and saw the wisdom behind the comedy to the point that you can find a parallel between almost any dilemma in real life and an episode of "Friends").
- "Fine! Judge all you want to but, married a lesbian, left a man at the altar, fell in love with a gay ice dancer, threw a girl’s wooden leg in a fire, live in a box!!" (Translation: Mock my relationships all you want, it's not like y'all are setting any examples of what TO do here.)
- " 'You're such a nice guy' means 'I'm going to be dating leather-wearing alcoholics and complaining about them to you.' " (It also means, 'There's nothing wrong with you, but I need something to be wrong.')
- "I figured after work, I'd pick up a bottle of wine, go over there, and try to...woo her." "Hey, you know what you should do? Take her back to the 1880's when that phrase was last used." (At this particular junction, I'm going to have to advise against wooing with wine. It's fun while it lasts, but when it's over you just have this aversion to wine, not to mention all the wooing.)
- " ‘We should do this again' loosely translated it means, ‘You will never see me naked.' " (Can also mean, "You will never see me naked again." Just depends on the context.)
- "When he says we should see other people, it means, 'Ha ha, I already ‘am.' " ( While I find this to be extremely amusing, in all fairness, I cannot say that it relates or applies to anything I may or may not be referring to. It's just not the case and I can't imply that it is. But I can imply that this line is hil-arious. I might be currently bitter, but that doesn't mean I'm going to make stuff up.)
Clearly, I've had a disappointing day. Disappointment makes some (or me) do things that are apparently irritating. That was made abundantly clear. Oh, if only everything else could have been just as clear and straightforward. And as smarmy and sarcastic as that may sound, it's only because I'm hurting. And the hurt is just on top of the good stuff. (That's why it hurts. If it was bad, I wouldn't care.) And there was plenty of good stuff. That's why there's plenty of hurt. And I was right. I am going to miss you.