Thursday, May 15, 2008

How Now, BFC

Sure, there was the smarty-pants goldfish who could play soccer AND limbo (Pele couldn't even claim to do that). Then there was the poor goat who was forcibly dressed in pink underwear. But neither of them could hold a candle to Chili, a cow who could easily be the world's largest (and possibly most tastiest, too!). Behold! Chillli, the BFC (Big Fat Cow) (and his fairly cute handler):

Chilli the BFC and his fairly cute handler


Holy hamburger, that cow is HUGE. Chilli (which is what he could end up being) is six foot six at the shoulder, which is the same height as Michael Jordan. Chilli is a black and white Friesian steer (Why, yes, Friesian means "really freaking big" in Bovinese, that is correct.) and is believed to be the tallest cow in Britain. Unless any other cows complain, people will continue to believe that. Chilli has been a life long resident at the Ferne Animal Sanctuary in Chard, Somerset (that's in Britain). Naomi Clarke, the care manager over there, says that they did notice Chilli seemed to be a bit larger than the other cattle. (Do you think?!)

The BFC amongst some of his RSC, Regular Sized Cow, pals

According to our good friends over at The Telegraph - UK, Chilli "grazes on grass during the day and enjoys the occasional swede as a treat." I'm going to have to guess that a "swede" is something different in Britain than it is in the US, because I read "swede" and I think "person from Sweden". And I just don't think that's right because something like that would really be cause for a lot of chatter. Certainly more chatter than if it was just a giant cow. But if it was a giant cow that occasionally snacked on Swedish residents for a treat? You'd have heard about it by now, I'm fairly certain.

He's thinking about eating her for lunch

Apparently "a farmer abandoned him and his twin sister Jubilee on the sanctuary's doorstep in September 1999, when he was six days old. The sanctuary named him Chilli because it already had a cow called Chutney. " So, Chutney was the name of choice for the orphan steer? And the name for the "twin steer" was Jubilee? Interesting. Whatever the reasoning behind that, Chilli has lived to the age of nine because he lived at the sanctuary. Had he not been at the sanctuary, he would have been slaughtered years ago and half of Britain might still be enjoying the tasty treats to come out of that killing. After all, a cow that size could provide 5,510 8 ounce steaks. Mmm....steak.


Apparently, a BFC needs incentive and encouragement to move


They've contacted the fine folks over yonder at The Guinness Book of World Records with the hope that Chilli is the world's largest cow. Chilli is not quite as large as the World's Tallest Ox, Fiorino, the Italian chianina ox who measured in at 6 feet 8 inches "to the withers" (not a clue as to what that means). But he is quite a bit larger than the largest cow on record. That was a cow that was an American Holstein-Durham cross named Mount Katahdin (pretty). Mount Katahdin stood six feet two inches tall and, for some reason, the Telegraph felt it necessary to include that MK's girth was 13 feet. (Girth is the distance around the cow's middle. That makes more sense than when you think of how "girth" is usually applied over here in the US. I thought that 13 feet seemed a bit much, even for a six foot tall cow.) Sadly, MK died in a barn fire back in 1923, but lives on through all of the tubes and wires that make up the Internet.

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