Friday, May 2, 2008

360 Billion Buck Chuck

It's not so much the stupidity of some people that amazes me. It's more the willingness or the ability of the stupid people to believe (or convince themselves) that they are so much smarter than others. Either that or other people are even dumber than they are. Whatever it is, it's amazing. But at least it makes for stories that are hil-arious. (Hey, if stupid can't hurt (because I think that being stupid should be painful. If it was, perhaps people might try a bit harder not to be morons.), it should at least be funny.)

Take one Charles Ray Fuller of Crowley, Texas. I'll start off by saying that at least the guy has ambition. He has a goal. He seems to know what he wants. It's just his methods of trying to accomplish those things is a bit, um, ridiculous? Misguided? Stupid? Stupid. Let's go with stupid. (I usually try to refrain from words like "stupid", but by the time you're done reading this, you're probably going to wonder why I didn't just go with F-ing idiot.)

360 Billion Buck Chuck

Now, Mr. Fuller was a 21-year old with a dream. A dream of one day starting a record business. That day was yesterday. Yesterday was also the day that Mr. Fuller showed exactly what he is truly capable of doing with his life and with his dreams. That is when he tried to cash a $360 billion dollar check. Of his girlfriend's mother. That he forged. That is correct.

The article from the AP says that the "tellers at the Fort Worth bank were immediately suspicious". (Oh, do you think? Why? Because they were conscious?!) It also says, "Perhaps the 10 zeros on a personal check tipped them off." It was a personal check. On top of every thing else that is asinine about this plan, it was a personal check. I can see it now, "Yes, I'd like to cash this check with the "Caribou of Western Yosemite In The Winter" check design, please. That'll be 360 billion dollars please. Small bills." Good Lord.

When asked about the check, Einstein told the employee's that his girlfriend's mother gave him the check to start his record business. (A generous woman, that "girlfriend's mother". Very generous, indeed.) I know you'll be surprised to learn that when they called the woman, she told them she didn't give him permission to take NOR to cash the check. (I'm also thinking she might have mentioned that she didn't HAVE 360 billion dollars in the Caribou account either. Again, so many signs this wouldn't turn out well for ol' Chuck there.)

That will be $360 billion dollars
So, of course he was arrested and charged with forgery. But remember, ol' Chuck, well, that boy's a dreamer. He can't stop at just one charge. No, he felt the need to make sure that he did things right. So he was also charged with unlawfully carrying a weapon (a .25 caliber handgun along with ammo) and he was charged with possessing less than 2 ounces of marijuana. Because of course, every record business owner walks around town (oh, like you think he had a car?! Right.) stoned out of their mind trying to cash forged checks for billions of dollars and packing some heat. Everyone of them. Yep, that's right. They're all like that. Sure they are.

See? Stupid isn't sounding so bad right about now, is it? Yeah, this guy got off easy with "stupid". He should try that as his defense. In this case, it could actually work.

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1 comment:

starting and running a record label said...

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