Friday, May 2, 2008

The Misfortune of Being Lesbian In English

The Island of LesbosI have seen the word "lesbian" in the written media more in the last two days than I probably have in the last two years. And all because of the guy from the island of Lesbos who wants the term "lesbian" to ONLY refer to those from the island and not those from the land of homosexual women. The fact that it's a dude who is all up in arms about this is a bit odd. Maybe he got confused when he learned that "lesbians" (not islanders) like other women and, since he likes other women, maybe he felt that HE should be a lesbian. But, alas, because of our strict rules and regulations (they're right there in the handbook that you're given after the recruitment process is complete and we've received our toaster) he couldn't be a lesbian because of his gender status (and his penis). But with this whole Lesbos island angle (Isn't that where Wonder Woman lived with Debra Winger? Lesbos Island?), he thinks he's found a loophole. (And I'm sure he's found something. I don't know what it is, but it's something all right.)

The dude in reference is Dimitris Lambrou, a Greek man with a flair for sparking international debate over that which is inane. Mr. Lambrou is one of the 'plaintiffs' who are suing the Greek Gay and Lesbian Union (known by the inexplicable Lesbians NOT from the islandacronym of OLKE) in order to get them to stop using the term 'lesbian' to refer to homosexual women, a ridiculous quest for so many reasons, the most glaring of which is it's asinine. Another of which is how he would plan to have this enforced. (My personal response to such a direction would be, "Make me.") I'm having difficulty imagining an international moratorium on the utterance of the term "lesbian" if there are no Greek islanders around. And maybe I just can't imagine it because there's not a chance in hell it's going to happen, so I figure, why waste my time? Regardless, the lawsuit continues.
HOW can you complain about THIS?!
In many reports in the media, it is referenced that Mr. Lambrou has written a "text" entitled "The Misfortune of Being Lesbian" and "published it on his website". The majority of the media reports simply repeat that phrase and do not provide the name of the website, nor do they provide the content of the text (with the ridiculous title). But, after a long day of irrigating the pipes of the Internet, I came across both, the website and the entire text. I also came across both of them in Greek. I never came across either of them in English.

Fortunately, there are a whole lot of pipes and tubes and things that make up the Internet. And amongst those tubes I found Google Translate. Google Translate, while unable to completely decipher the entire text into something comprehensible and readable for those of us operating in English, it did a pretty darn good job overall. I'd give it a "B". (Actually, because it also does translations of things in English into other languages and now I can swear in Greek, I'm giving it a B+. Nice job, Google boys.)

So, here we have the entire "The Misfortune of Being Lesbian" in English straight from Mr. Lambrou's website.

We decided to recognize as I, Lesbians and ladies Maria D. Ρ Rhodes and Kokkoni Ant. Kouvalaki, a global phenomenon, which we think is a symptom of an era, where that which is historically true and general has been replaced by that which is subjective, arbitrary and selfish. I would say for now, that the phenomenon behind an unprovoked aggression by the racism of some certain strange individuals against those that are not characterized by the corresponding peculiarities.

The ownership and usurpation of other property originating from a birthplace home land, which have nothing whatsoever to do with this land, are themselves acts of extreme arbitrariness. When the usurpers and fraudulents simply not only joint property but also attempt to remove the property from the same beneficiaries, then the arbitrariness becomes totalitarian despotism and usurpation becomes forcible removal, theft and possession of the identity of the other. Such behaviour would describe as "reasonable" but typical clinical symptoms would describe a disability. Let us look with a few phrases this phenomenon more precisely

The words Lesbios, Lesbia, Lesbio and Lesbiakos, Lesbiaki, Lesbiako for countless centuries exclusively meant something, which existed for generations and generations of people diachronically their creations, historical, artistic, spiritual, material and everything else mentioned which concerns culture and history island of Lesbos meant quite simply the identifying element of individual and collective consciousness of the common entity and identity of Lesbians. In recent years however, the meanings of these words have almost been lost, almost exclusively and replaced with meanings that have no connection whatsoever with the island.

But the thing has not stopped here. For the characterization of the inhabitants of the island instead of ancient words Lesbians - one, lesbian introduced deliberately and fraudulently used and other "words" arbitrarily constructed and non-existent in all the dictionaries of Ancient and Modern Greek Language. "Lesbian". These are from scratch the zero recently alleged "words" Lesbianos, -, - and Lesbiotis - ISSA - economic (internationally "Lesbonian", "Lesbiot"), to characterize the born, resident and originating from Lesbos

Maybe, if one is not Lesbian, one may not realize the mental and moral rape in existential depth felt by residents and originating from this historic island and this background and the deep existential feeling a Lesbian or a Lesvios in-depth existential involved in the brutal linguistic interception and removal of geographical location of Lesbos Island. It is this mental rape, this moral failure and/or damage, which brutally offends the right to humane identity of every human being, the clients wanted me to express myself through our lawyer, lodging an application for interim measures, which brought the Court of Athens on 10 June 2008, the day Tuesday, former School Building 5 Evelpidon at 9 a.m.

According to the online version of the Oxford Dictionary,
the first edition of The Abridged Dictionary of 1911 the word Lesvia (Lesbian) "referred only on the island." The concept of gay women was added much later. The Oxford Dictionary in 1999 on the same website says: "Many words have new meaning or acquired new concepts. For example, the word" sex "in 1911 meant only "Being a man, woman together". "Gay meant ‘full of or disposed to or indicating mirth; light-hearted, sportive’, while "Lesbian" meant simply "from Lesbos" (a Greek island.)

THE TEXT OF THE APPLICATION

interim relief

IN COURT THE "TORCH" WHO CIRCULATES

OK, from what I can tell, this doesn't say a whole hell of a lot. If it does anything, it takes up a hell of a lot of space to say "Why do they have to call themselves Again, NOT from the island"lesbians"? That's OUR word!" And it does so in such a way that you can almost hear the guy whining and stomping his foot as he says it.

Now, in previous interviews, Mr. Lambrou has said that he has nothing against the female loving lesbians. While that sounds pretty good, it doesn't sound good when he continues on about how if the female loving lesbians keep calling themselves lesbians it amounts to a "moral rape" of the chicks from the island! See, now, this is where Mr. Lambrou and I are different (in addition to the fact that I'm not an islander) because when I don't have anything against someone else, I certainly don't go around accusing them of "morally raping" inhabitants of a Greek island! So I'm kind of thinking he might have a little, just a little, something against lesbians.

THIS seems like a very VERY good ideaAnd why haven't we heard from the two women that are named in this thing? You'd think that those who have been "morally raped" (by what amounts to nothing more than a moniker/metaphor used by women lovin' up other women across the world) would have spoken up by now. If they're ashamed by their "morally raped" status (because after we're done with our moral raping and pillaging of their island, we brand the initials M.R. on their foreheads and walk them down Main Street during an impromptu Pride Parade.) they could give interviews with that little black rectangle over their eyes. Or a bag over their heads. Actually, they have their heads so far up their arse, I highly doubt anyone will be able to recognize them. Nor would we be able to hear their side of the story (seems like it would be quite muffled from way up there).

Never mind. Forget the interviews. Go back to Paradise Island or wherever the hell it is and just take a little bit more time to get over yourselves. Soon as you're done, come on back. You'll still be welcome. And you'll still be Lesbians. And we'll still be here. And we'll still be lesbians. And everything will be just fine. Kind of like it is right now. What could be gayer than a rainbow O?

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