Showing posts with label Obama Girl. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Obama Girl. Show all posts

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Cuando, Barry?

I love it when a Presidential candidate says something early on in the campaign that shows either a) how out of touch with the rest of society they are or b) how unrealistic they are or c) how incredibly misguided they are. And whether it's a, b, or c, it always results in d) my wanting to just twist right off on any given day. Today was one of those days.

Today, Barry Obama was speaking to a group of people in Powder Springs, Georgia. A member of the audience asked him a question about his present position on bilingualism. First of all, I was unaware that there was such a word as "bilingualism". Second, even if there was a word such as "bilingualism" I was confused as to why the President should care whether or not people are bilingual. And as I listened to Barry's response, I realized that "bilingualism" was code for "not having English as an official language and expecting those speaking English to accommodate those who are not speaking English rather than have those not speaking English to assimilate into a country that does speak English." Granted, "bilingualism" is a bit shorter than all of that, but it's highly misleading.

The text of Barry's response is below. After that is a video clip of his response. After the clip, I will continue twisting off.

"You know, I don't understand when people are going around worrying about, "We need to have English- only." They want to pass a law, "We want English-only."

Now, I agree that immigrants should learn English. I agree with that. But understand this. Instead of worrying about whether immigrants can learn English -- they'll learn English -- you need to make sure your child can speak Spanish. You should be thinking about, how can your child become bilingual? We should have every child speaking more than one language.

You know, it's embarrassing when Europeans come over here, they all speak English, they speak French, they speak German. And then we go over to Europe, and all we can say [is], "Merci beaucoup." Right?

You know, no, I'm serious about this. We should understand that our young people, if you have a foreign language, that is a powerful tool to get a job. You are so much more employable. You can be part of international business. So we should be emphasizing foreign languages in our schools from an early age, because children will actually learn a foreign language easier when they're 5, or 6, or 7 than when they're 46, like me."





Good hell, where do I start?

I guess I could start with the end. The end, where he tried to save his ass by claiming that learning another language is a powerful tool to get a job (as opposed to a powerful tool in order to tell your gardener that he's cutting the hedges back too far). Is IT, Barry? Does IT make me more employable? Oh, sure I can be a part of an international business, but do I want to be? And just because one is part of an international business, that doesn't necessarily require them to know another language. And how odd that the language that you initially suggested that "our children" learn is Spanish. Hmm...I wonder why that is? Is it because of the huge influx of Spanish speaking international businesses out there? Uh, no, it's not.

But back to the beginning. You know, the part before he realized he wasn't exactly sending the best message. In English. If he "doesn't understand" why people feel that this country needs to have "English only", then he is completely out of touch with his surroundings and the society that the majority of people in this country live in. Hey, Barry, when was the last time you were at Home Depot and all of the products were shelved with the Spanish language sides facing out? Hey, Barry, when was the last time you went through a Drive-Thru and all you wanted was some extra cheese on your burger but the employee didn't speak English and so you ended up with NO cheese? Hey, Barry, when was the last time you used an automated phone system and had to sit through what to do if you were speaking Spanish BEFORE you could get to what to do if you're speaking English? Hey, Barry, when was the last time you were ANYWHERE that your political entourage didn't take care of everything for you, virtually ensuring that you have NO clue as to how bad it is?

And you know as well as I do, Barry, that the people that US citizens are frustrated with because they do not speak English are not those who speak French or German. They are those who speak Spanish. They are those who speak Spanish and refuse to (or do not want to) learn English. And a lot of those who fall into those categories are not in this country legally. But you, Barry, you "don't understand" why people want "English only"? What don't you understand? I'd be happy to clear things up for you.

See, it works like this: There is a steady stream of people coming from Mexico entering this country illegally. It would appear that a lot of them don't feel the need to learn English (nor would it appear that a lot of them feel the need to become a legal citizen, but that's a whole different blog post, now isn't it?) and just continue to speak Spanish. For some reason (seemingly under the guise of "being nice" or just "accepting" or something), not only has this been allowed to continue, is has proliferated to the point where now, instead of just "accepting" that people don't want to learn English, we are supposed to "accommodate" those who don't want to learn English. And really, Barry, those of us who are in this country legally and who speak English are pretty much done with the "accommodations" that we've made up until now. Actually, we're a little offended that we've been so accommodating and have received almost nothing in return for it.

More than offended, I think we're tired. We're tired of listening to automated phone systems in Spanish FIRST. We're tired of wading through everything posted everywhere in TWO languages. We're tired of getting the wrong orders, having short hedges and having to repeat ourselves (oddly, usually louder the second or third time around). I really don't think it's too much to ask for those who are in this country illegally to conform to at least ONE standard. If they're not going to conform to our laws, could they not at least try to appease us by speaking English? Apparently not.

Barry, you make it sound as if we're being unreasonable to want/expect that people speak English. Oh, but it IS reasonable for us to make sure that our children can speak Spanish because there are so many Spanish only speakers in this country who don't speak English? If they're going to learn English like you say they are, why is it that we need to make sure our children speak Spanish? Oh, right. To get a job at an international business. (Isn't McDonald's an "international business"? See, that example would almost prove his point, except that all of those at the "international business" of McDonald's are speaking Spanish because they don't speak English, NOT because they learned another language.)

And Barry, your comment about how when the dumb Americans go over to France all they can say is merci beaucoup? See, while I don't really see that as accurate, I'm OK with it and here's why. In France, if you're American and you don't speak French, the French will not bend over backwards for your American ass. The French will be less than accommodating if you don't speak French or at least make some attempt to speak french. Aside from that, are you suggesting that the Americans who go to France and who don't speak French are going to STAY there? I was unaware of the HUGE problem France was having with illegal immigrants from the US who refuse to learn French!

(And by the way, Barry, you might want to look at a European map once in a while. There are a lot of countries in Europe that speak different languages. And all of those countries are right next to each other. It's almost out of sheer necessity that they learn different languages, as the countries are so close to each other and there is a lot of coming and going in between them. But if you're going to use that as your example, and you clearly did, why do you appeal to those of us in this country who speak English to learn Spanish to accommodate those from Mexico who won't speak English when you have just said that if you go to another country, you should speak that language? I also noticed that you didn't use Mexico as your example for people who travel to other countries and speak that country's language. No, you used France and Germany. Nice.)
And now, Barry, you're suggesting that those of us who are in this country LEGALLY learn to speak SPANISH to accommodate millions of individuals (not all) who are in this country ILLEGALLY?? WHY?

Finally, in regard to your statement "they'll learn English" (with "they" being those immigrants who do not speak English), I have but one question for you.

When are they going to do that? When? Because if they were actually going to do it, we wouldn't even be having this discussion. So, when would that be, Barry? Because like I said earlier, I'm tired and I kind of wish that they'd hurry. But since they haven't felt a sense of urgency until now, I highly doubt that they're going to feel one after this. I can't think of a better time for just a little Obama Girl to make me feel better.













Wow. That always helps. Even if just a little bit. It always helps.

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Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Shoot Me Now

Ever wished there were more than 24 hours in the day? Of course you have (because who wouldn't like more time to squeeze in some naps?). While I cannot provide you with more actual hours, I can provide you with something that will make it seem like there are more than 24 hours in the day. In fact, I can provide you with something that will make the next five months seems like a freaking eternity. You'll be begging for those 24 hours days before it's over, trust me. Ahem....This is from the fine folks over there at the AP (yes, the Associated Press), who seem to have not received the memo that their slogan/motto/tag line-o-crap is "The Essential Global News Network." (The key words here are "essential" and "news". With the all of those tubes that make up the Internet, anything and everything could be "global" only 5 seconds after posting it on YouTube, so "global" isn't really relevant here.) Ready for time to stand still? Here we go.....

Headline......AP....... "Obama joins neighbors for a lake shore bicycle ride." Sweet mother of God, make it stop.

This? THIS? THIS is what we're going to have to put up with until freaking November?! Come on! Are you AP guys SERIOUS?! A bike ride?! What?!

The "article" goes something like this: "Barack Obama joined family and neighbors for a bicycle ride along the shores of Lake Michigan on Sunday.

"Obama, who last week claimed the Democratic presidential nomination, capped his victory with a quiet, long weekend at home in Chicago.

"The Illinois senator and his wife, Michelle, rode to a neighbor's house with their daughters, Malia and Sasha, on Sunday and the group then headed out for the ride along the scenic lake shore. But the outing was cut short by a downpour."

I do not need to read that Barack Obama went on a freaking bike ride with his family. I do not need minuscule detail paid to irrelevant aspects of the man's personal life unless it involves a child bride and/or one or more goats. In fact, I'd appreciate it if some minuscule detail was paid to some of his time in office and what he's done there. Or perhaps a pay a bit of attention to some of his policies, some of his pledges if he's elected President, something that has anything at all to do with his political platform and NOT things that involve HELMETS!

OH, and you'll be happy to know that the AP managed to include a picture with their "essential global news" news flash. Here we go. I call this photo, "Barack and Bike." Behold!



Wait, I thought that it said he went for the bicycle ride on the shore of Lake Michigan. That doesn't look like the shore of Lake Michigan to me. That looks like the crosswalk of Chicago. (It also looks like he could stand a little air in the back tire there. Who's running that show over there? The man needs air!)

This is going to be a looonnngggg five months. I can feel time screeching to a standstill as I type this. Geez, and I thought that waiting for Hillary to bow out took a long time. If I have to put up with this type of "reporting" for the next five months, I'm going to twist off. Can you imagine how this could go? "This just in....at 3:45 this afternoon, John McCain was just seen pulling up in his Buick outside the restaurant where he will be enjoying the Early Bird Special for dinner. Word on the street is that he will be in bed by 6:15 sharp after a glass of warm milk. Back to you in the studio."

The only good thing about this is that now, because I'm so depressed after reading this waste of space article about the exercise habits of Barry Obama, I must have a pic of Obama Girl to make myself feel better. Because, really, when doesn't Obama Girl make me feel better? That's right. Never. And now is no exception. I feel better already.

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Sunday, May 4, 2008

He Baracked Up The Top Ten

Why? Why? Why is it so difficult for seemingly all of the Presidential nominee candidates (and possibly the majority of politicians in general) to deliver a "line" without sounding like they're delivering a "line"? It's not that difficult, but whenever I hear these guys try and speak words that are scripted, I begin to wonder if there is some sort of intricacy to this process that I'm completely unaware of. They sound like they're reading from a card (which they are) and they sound like they don't care about what they're saying (which they don't) and they come across as idiotic (further assessment needed) and sometimes as if they're having a stroke (again, further assessment needed on all politicians except Sen. Byrd). And the worst part about it is that sometimes, if that stick up their butt hadn't affected their ability to speak like a human being instead of a constipated robot, it would have been a pretty funny bit that they did. But no.

And that's why I'm a little annoyed with Obama. (To make sure I'm clear, I'm only annoyed with Obama. I am NOT annoyed with Obama Girl. Totally different. I don't think it's possible for me to EVER get annoyed with Obama Girl. Ever. Him? Oh, sure.) Why? Because he "Baracked up" the Top Ten list on Letterman the other night. I love the Top Ten. And I'm not opposed to a Guest Top Ten Orator once in a while. But, dude, come on! Put a little feeling into it, would you? The whole list is about YOU! Act like you give a crap! Argh.

Here's Barack Obama on Letterman reading the Top Ten Surprising Facts About Barack Obama. It's pathetic.



  • Number 10: My first act as President will be to stop the fighting between Lauren and Heidi on "The Hills."

  • Number 9: In the Illinois Primary, I accidentally voted for Kucinich.

  • Number 8: When I tell my kids to clean their room, I finish with, "I'm Barack Obama and I approved this message."

  • Number 7: Throughout high school, I was consistently voted, "Barackiest."

  • Number 6: Earlier today I bowled a 39.

  • Number 5: I have canceled all my appearances the day the "Sex and the City" movie opens.

  • Number 4: It's the birthplace of Fred Astaire. (Sorry, that's a surprising fact about Omaha.)

  • Number 3: We are tirelessly working to get the endorsement of Kentucky Derby favorite Colonel John.

  • Number 2: This has nothing to do with the Top Ten, but what the heck is up with Paula Abdul?

  • And the Number One Surprising Fact About Barack Obama: I have not slept since October.

Yes, I know. It was painful to watch, but that's only because it looked painful to read! And a couple of those could have been pretty funny if the delivery had been better. Again, I'm not supporting any candidate in particular. I AM supporting good humor and the proper delivery of verbal amusement. But a particular candidate? Nah, I'm too annoyed with the butchering of the Top Ten to lend political support to anyone. Perhaps if I just put a picture of Obama Girl here for no reason at all it will end my annoyance.

Yeah, that really did help. I feel much better now.

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