Sunday, April 27, 2008

Can You Hear Me Now? That's Not So Good

You wouldn't think that the telephone could cause so many problems. Or be blamed for so many things. Actually, you'd probably think that there would be only a small number of things that you actually could blame on the phone. After all, it's a phone. But a woman in Tunis (that's in Tunisia. See how they did that?) has claimed that she was raped. During a phone call. By the guy on the other end of the phone. That is correct.

This from the fine, but very vague, folks over there at UPI. According to them, a 20-year old womand was having a phone conversation with a 30-year old man. The man says he never touched her, a seemingly believable defense since he was on the other end of the PHONE. While he didn't touch her, he DID say that he heard her scream (when they were "totally into" their erotic phone conversation) and that she reported bleeding. OK, stop. Wait. What?

She reported bleeding? To HIM? Honey, that's probably the reason why you're having "erotic conversations" on the phone with guys instead of just going out and getting a little. Guys don't want to all of a sudden hear that you're bleeding. Actually, women don't want to hear that either. A bit of discretion, ma'am. That's all we're asking.

The lawyer who is representing the family who is alleging that their daughter was raped, a one Maha al-Metebaa (Anyone else thinking about sheep right now?), said that this case needs careful investigation (do ya think?) because it has unprecedented allegations. (I should say that it does! Not only are they "unprecedented" they're also rather "unfounded".) The lawyer said that a medical examination determined that the 20-year old woman was no longer a virgin. (Ohhhh. OK. Do you see where this is going? Or, more accurately, do you see where this (she) has been?)

al-Metebaa said, "The intercourse did take place with all its details but verbally only. The sexual act did not really happen because the physical proximity factor is not there, yet it happened because there is a direct physical impact – the loss of virginity." Ah, geez.

So, because she's no longer a "virgin" and she said that during this conversation is when it happened, then it's true? Because she's not a virgin? Of course, there is absolutely NO possibility at all that she could have, oh, I don't know, lost her virginity at an earlier time and used this ridiculous story as a way to cover that up? Lost her virginity, misplaced it, forgot she had it, something like that. Bottom line: Has had sex before. More than once. Is lying her ass off.

And someone has to ask, so it might as well be me. Was there a wombat involved?

This definitely gives new meaning to "Reach out and touch someone."

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