Tuesday, April 15, 2008

The Voice of Where In English?

Apparently, Tasmania has a voice. Who knew? I didn't. But they do. And it's name is Mercury. Correct. Mercury - The Voice of Tasmania. Apparently, it would be a division of news.com.au (that's in Australia). Now, I haven't fully explored the depths of Tasmania's voice, but I have skimmed the surface. And if what's underneath is anything like the top, well, I have the feeling that Tasmania's news in English will be a source of much entertainment.

These are the headlines from the fine folks over there at Mercury - The Voice of Tasmania:

  • Passenger plane crashes in Congo, deaths feared (Kind of a given, that "deaths feared" part after reading the "plane crashes" part. Also not so necessary after you read "It's a passenger plane with a lot of people aboard. We're doing all we can to reach the aircraft, but it's ablaze." Yeah, highly unnecessary, that "deaths feared" part.)

  • Pope vows no more pedophile priests (I was unaware that the Pope had control over the pedophile priests. If his Pope-ness does wield such authority, I sure as hell wish he had used it a bit sooner. You know, before all the touching.)

  • China seeks apology for 'goons' comment (China wants CNN anchor to apologize to "the whole Chinese people". Like individually? Yeah. That'll happen. He'll get right on that.)

  • Man carrying mother's head in street (I believe the only appropriate comment for this is, "WTF?")

  • 'Spiderman' scales Hong Kong hotel (OK, if you've seen the movies, you know that Spiderman can do a lot more than just climb buildings on the outside. After all, he is a spider man. Why is this news? There's SO much more!)

  • Bridgitte Bardot on trial for Muslim slur (Wait. What? Bridgitte Bardot is alive? Who is she again?)

  • Keanu Reeves wants to star in a musical (OK. That's it! I've had enough! Tasmania breeds insanity!)

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