Sunday, April 6, 2008

Now, Hedgehogs

It was bound to come to this. We've got dogs, cats, mice, monkeys, all sorts of animals having things done to them that are just wrong, unnecessary and usually unattractive. So let's throw a hedgehog into this mix, shall we? Literally.

A 27-year old guy was arrested in New Zealand for and charged with assault with a weapon for his attack upon a 15-year old. The alleged weapon? A hedgehog.

Dude picked up a hedgehog and flung it about 15 feet where it whacked the teenager in the leg causing "a large red welt and several puncture marks." If you're wondering how an animal can leave puncture marks, then it must be because you've never seen a hedgehog. Here's one:

Looks like a prickly litter bugger, doesn't he? Yeah, they're kind of small, but that just makes it easier to use them as weaponry by hurling them long distances.

Police weren't saying at the time if those five words that explain situations like this were applicable. (Alcohol may have been involved.) I'm guessing that perhaps it was. Police also are not saying if the hedgehog was alive or dead at the time it was catapulted toward the teen., but they are saying that it was dead when "it was collected as evidence."

In case you were wondering, maximum imprisonment for assault with a prickly hedgehog upon a teenager is 5 years. I'd really like to hear him explaining that to the other inmates.

You know, Sega has that Sonic the Hedgehog character. Here's Sega's Sonic next to a real hedgehog so that we can compare.:

Yeah, that looks nothing like the real hedgehog. But I guess that, considering most people don't know what a hedgehog looks like and would probably only see one when reading about when a hedgehog is used as an assault weapon. That happens almost never, which is probably why Sega felt they could just take liberty with whatever they wanted in regard to said hedgehog's appearance and no one would really complain. Not even the hedgehogs, really. They can't read. But that's still no excuse for hurling them. Please don't.

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