Thursday, April 10, 2008

So, Are You Hillary I, II, III, IV, V, or VI?

Look, I'll admit that I'm surprised because it appears as if Hillary Clinton will not be getting the Democratic nomination for to run for President. And there was a point where I didn't think that there was any way that she wouldn't. Until I heard her talk. Repeatedly. And poorly.

But just because her speaking skills are poor, does not mean that they can't provide you with a few moments of amusing entertainment. The only depressing part of that is that I'm not so sure that entertainment should be coming from politicians who are clearly doing little more than reading a speech that someone else wrote for them with about as much investment and feeling as they would have if they were reading the phone book to dogs without clothes.

Behold! Hillary Clinton makes the natural comparison of herself to....Rocky Balboa. But, wait. There's something odd about her comparison. You'll hear it.

First of all, I don't understand why it is that these politicians can't just deliver a line. It's not that hard to speak without sounding like you're reading something. It isn't. But they way some of these politicians give public speeches, you'd think that they just stepped out of their ESL class. (You want more examples of this? Listen to or watch any speech George W. Bush has ever given. Before the speech is over, you will be questioning whether or not the man can actually speak English at all. In some cases, you'll wonder if he had a stroke about a quarter of the way into it.)

But really, it's when these politicians are reading a speech and, because they have no idea what the speech says because they didn't write it and they were only handed the speech about an hour before they had to speak it, they get a little part of it wrong and something to the speech. Like change the entire metaphor that one was trying to make with the speech.

Case in point: Hillary above. And I quote, "When it comes to finishing the fight, Rocky and I have a lot in common. I never quit. I never get up." Wait. You "never get up"? Is that what you said? Um, Hill? Yeah, when you're fighting? See, if you "never get up", yeah, that's kind of like "quitting". In fact, it is just like quitting. And actually (and sadly), that might not be such a bad idea right now.

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