Monday, April 7, 2008

Dystrophic Depression Does Death

It's nice when things work out the way you want them to, isn't it? Especially if you've put a lot of thought and effort and time into the project. That's when it feels really good to have accomplished your goal. I have to believe that 54-year old Christopher Lumsden of London is feeling pretty good about his accomplishment, having obtained over a million dollars. Yeah, he did it the usual way. By killing his wife. And being convicted of her murder. And going to prison for it. Wait. What?

Well, it wasn't quite that simple. He had to claim that he attacked her because he was crazy. (Really, when someone kills someone else, there's not really much of a question as to whether or not they're crazy, because they are. Perhaps not certifiably insane, but they're not all there, that's for sure.) Let's back up before we go crazy, shall we?

Lumsden was married to Alison (aka Mrs. Lumsden) for 24 years. That seemed to matter more to him than to her since she was having an affair with Roger Flint (Also married. Also English.). In 2005, she told him of the affair. Shortly after telling him, she asked him for a divorce. Shortly after that is when the killing happened. (Shocking, I know.)

But see, when on trial, he claimed he had a "depressive condition". No. Not because his wife had an affair. He was depressed because of the muscular dystrophy that he was apparently diagnosed with. See, now I knew that muscular dystrophy causes your muscles to stop working, but I didn't know it apparently causes them to start stabbing. Oh, and he stabbed all right. So many times, in fact, that they couldn't even count the number of stab wounds. (That's one hell of a "dystrophy" right there.)

Now when in London with a depressive condition that causes you to repeatedly stab, stab, and stab some more, you are exempt from the law that says if you are the one doing the killing, you will not be the one doing the benefit reaping. Thus, he's depressed, he's exempt, he's inheriting a million bucks. Oh, did I mention he's out of jail already? Yeah. He is.

Stabby O'Sad-A-Lot there served 18 months and has been paroled. Huh. 18 months for killing your wife and you get out and you get the proceeds from the sale of the estate because she left you everything in her will that she wrote 5 years prior to finding out that you would be the one causing her death. Interesting. (That's their house over there on the left. Nice, eh?) If it makes you feel any better, he's on parole until 2010. (It didn't make me feel better, but who knows? Maybe you will.)

But what's a little more interesting is that Rose Dixon, the national development officer for the Campaigners at Support After Murder and Manslaughter charity (My God, can't they just call themselves the CSAMMs and be done with it? That will never fit on a business card.) has said that, "We see many, many families who are devastated by this issue every year and find it completely unjust." Wait. Hold on a second.

They do? See "many, many families" where one family member kills the other family member and then inherits all of their stuff? Really? That surprises me. Not the part about if they are "feeling blue" that they're exempt from not inheriting anything from their victim. I mean, that's a WTF Law if I've ever heard one, but what surprises me more is that, according to Rose, this happens many, many times. And that's mainly because I haven't heard about stuff like this happening over there "many, many times". I haven't even heard of it happening "many times". No, I've just heard of "time". As in, this one. And I've heard of the CSAMMs even less than I've heard of this (that would be "none" for those of you who don't feel like doing the math.).

I'm hoping that whoever the people in charge of the laws over there in London are can get this little loophole about depressive conditions tightened up. (The loophole alone is enough to make people who don't go around stabbing their slutty wives get depressed. Muscular dystrophy or not.) I'm also hoping that the real form of muscular dystrophy (the kind that really does make it difficult to move) kicks in for Mr. Lumsden real soon. I think a lot of other people who feel better too.

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