Monday, April 14, 2008

Polyester; Is It Bad For Your Sex Life?

If you're out there looking for a date, looking for love, or just looking to get a little (and, really, who isn't?), what you wear could be very important in determining whether or not you're going to score or how often you're going to score. Well, it might be important. If you're a human. If you're a rat? It's important. Apparently. According to someone.

Dr. Ahmed Shafik is a doctor in Egypt. In 1993 he published a study in an issue of European Urology. (While I could assume that urology would warrant it's own publication, I did not know that it would warrant it's own publication by geographical location.) His study examined how polyester clothing would affect male sexuality. Oh, did I mention it was the male sexuality of rats? It was. I find it odd that he would choose to examine this because, as I've said before in other contexts, rats are animals. They don't need clothes (and they certainly don't need polyester, for God's sake).

His study worked like this: As you can see from Figure 1 below (stay with me here!), some of the rats got to wear underwear (stay!) made out of polyester or some sort of poly-blend material and the other rats got to wear underwear (stay!) made out of cotton OR they wore wool briefs. (Wool underwear?! Wool is itchy. I wouldn't want itchy underwear. I'm sure the rats weren't too pleased about it either.)
So, what do you think he found out? Correct. The rats in the polyester underwear had less sex than the ones in tighty-whities or in wool jockeys. (Personally, I'm surprised any of the rats had sex at all looking like that. I guess those female rats are pretty indiscriminate when it comes to their male suitors.) From this observation, Dr. Shafik drew this conclusion: Polyester creates an electrostatic field that makes rats less horny. Wait. What?

I don't know. I just don't get it. But I do know that that picture above, along with the caption, "The underpant worn by the rat" is quite possibly one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life. And it's all because of some scientist guy who wanted to know how many times a rat will get laid if it's wearing polyester underwear. See, it's that kind of thinking that is one of the many reasons that I totally dig some (or at least one) of those in the scientific community. Science IS fun.

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