Friday, April 11, 2008

4 Out Of 5 Fake Dentists CAN Be Prevented

From the fine folks (who don't seem to understand how to properly use quotation marks) over at Tampa Bays 10 News, a West Palm Beach man was arrested for practicing dentistry without a license. OK, just the thought of someone who IS a licensed dentist with their hands in my mouth and wielding some sort of iron hook to scrape plaque off my teeth with makes my skin crawl (Sorry, Matt!). But the thought of someone who ISN'T a licensed dentist wielding an iron hook in my mouth kind of makes me a little nauseous. Yeah, a little bit. Although this seems pretty self-explanatory, I have questions about how this happened. See, because when the guy was arrested the police found "rusted and bloody dental instruments in his car". WTF?!

Now, the guys over at Tampa Bay's 10 News Online have the headline reading, "Deputies: "Fake" dentist had rusty, bloody dental equipment". Why the quotes, Tampa Bay guys? Why the quotes around the word "fake"? If a guy without a dental license is driving around town with bloody dental instruments (ie, iron hooks covered in blood) and rusty dental instruments (ie, iron hooks that have been left outside in the rain. Or in the shower.) in his car, I am thinking that those things alone are the very defintion of a FAKE dentist. NO quotes necessary! HE WAS FAKE! NOT a real dentist! Remove the quotes!!

And that brings me to another part I don't get. I can see someone having these instruments, even if they're not a dentist. (Hey, I didn't say it was normal or that it was right. Just that it could happen. But only the rusted ones. I cannot see how having bloody dental instruments could, or should, ever happen. Just so I'm clear.) I can almost see someone with these instruments driving around with them in their car. (Perhaps they had just come from a licensed dentist, from whom they pilfered all of their metal tools.) But when they arrested Luis Sanchez, he told them "he was doing dental procedures on his friends as a way to make extra money." Again, just so I'm clear, WTF?!

Look, I've got some good friends. In fact, I have got some great friends! I've got friends I've known for years and that I just love to death. But I don't care how good of a friend they are, I don't care how long I've known them, I don't care how much they need the money, I am not, repeat, AM NOT EVER going to let them play dentist in my mouth! Especially with their rusted and bloody instruments that they got from God knows where! I'm actually more concerned about the people who would let someone do this to them than I am concerned for the person doing it. See, this kind of thing wouldn't happen if it weren't for people saying, "I sure wish I could afford a real dentist. Saaayyy...are those rusty and bloody dental instruments you've got there? How wide should I open?"

He might have been a fake dentist, but they were real patients. And I'm not placing blame here or anything (OK, maybe a little bit), but you can't be a fake dentist without real patients. I'm just saying.

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