- Cops tell us a woman who said she was Nate's estranged wife called into 911 freaking out as she was driving, claiming Nate was making death threats against her and "dangerously" following her as she drove down the road. The CHP stopped them both, and after interviewing both parties, arrested him for making terrorist threats and driving on a suspended license. The singer, whose real name is Nathaniel Hale, is currently in the process of being booked into the medical ward of the Twin Towers jail in downtown L.A. He suffered a debilitating stroke last December.
We have flooding going on over there in Midwest. Now, I don't know about you, but when I think "flood" I think "Where's my ark?" So I don't know if someone was trying to be cute or dramatic, but this is just asinine. "Forecast Says End Is Near for River Rise" Oh, the "forecast" says that? Not the fact that there's not as much water? You mean that the river is NOT going to keep rising FOREVER? (Do you really think I needed someone to TELL me that?) And "end is near"? Definitely a "Better find an ark" inducing headline if there ever was one.
The World Health Organization has been in China assessing the mental health needs of those who have survived the recent earthquakes there. (By the way, the earthquake that they had that was 8.0 on the Richter scale. That went on for over THREE minutes. Holy crap. At some point, I'm thinking after, oh, minute one, you have to think that it's just never going to stop and that the earth is going to continue to shake until everyone on the planet is dead. Three minutes would seem like an eternity.) Now, it's hard to tell from the headline if the people in China really DO need some sort of mental health intervention ("from the headline" it's hard to tell. From my opinion, it's not hard to tell. They do. You would too.). The headline reads "WHO says China needs mental health care" Who says? That's cute. What's next? "China responds with: I know you are but what am I?"
Over in 'Health' (which, by the way, if you're concerned about your health, don't read the 'Health' section of anything online. That's what doctors are for; so you can avoid the 'Health' sections.), we have this attention grabber: "What You Eyes Are Telling You." Here, let me help so you don't have to actually read the article. If they're closed, they're telling me I'm asleep. If they're open, they're telling me I'm awake. Next!
My second favorite headline from the world of entertainment today. "Actress Taunted by Angry Russian." (Kind of makes it sound as if Baryshnikov finally came off the rails, doesn't it?) Here's what we know: " According to Showbiz Spy while filming 'Get Smart' in Russia, an angry stranger pushed the star and menaced her with a bottle before security intervened." So....he's not only angry and he's not only Russian, he's a bottler menacer as well! Good thing security was there. Good Lord..........
- Amy Winehouse's father break shocking news about the troubled singer's health
Shocking news about her health. Um, folks....THIS is Amy Winehouse:
As I wrap this up, I must issue this warning that the following is not suitable for a family reading environment. George Carlin....nice job, dude. And you might not be able to say them on TV, but they didn't say anything about writing them online. So thanks for letting me remember you with just those seven words.