Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Stop Doing That All Night Long

There are times when something might seem like a good idea, but then later on you realize that it wasn't such a good idea, but at least you knew why you thought it was a good idea in the first place (like the time you took that "All-You-Can-Eat Shrimp" special down at the Sizzler a bit too seriously after a night of heavy drinking). But then there are times when something is such a bad idea, you wonder how it EVER was thought of as a good idea in the first place. EVER. I have an example of one of those things. I call it: Celine Dion did a cover version of AC/DC's "You Shook Me All Night Long". Wait. What?

I am not the only one who thinks that this is a disaster. No, Total Guitar magazine has released a list of the worst cover songs of all time. Clearly, Celine made the top of the list. Number One! Worst EVER. And there's really no disagreeing with that assessment. Let me set the stage for you:














It's in Las Vegas. It's a duet with Anastacia (no, I'm not quite sure who she is either). Celine parades her 84-pound frame across stage atop 4-inch stiletto heels (which I usually have NO problem with) and has scarf like appendages hanging from the arms of her shirt (which I usually ALWAYS have a problem with). Occasionally, the Anastacia chick shouts/sings at/with her. She also says, "Come on!" a lot. It's pretty bad. But don't take my word for it. See/listen/cringe for yourself.




I had to watch this again to make sure it was as bad as I remember it. And I'm glad I did because it wasn't as bad. No, it was worse. I had forgotten about the one-legged hop across the stage a la Angus Young. But wait! I might have to rescind what I said just a minute ago. There actually might BE some disagreement with the assessment that it's the worst cover of all time. That's because, as I was searching YouTube for the above atrocity, I ran across what is possibly a greater atrocity. Indeed. It's...it's the same song. But....it's.....well.....it's Shania Twain singing it this time. It's not good. I don't know what it is (other than kind of confusing), but it's definitely not good.



OK, that wasn't good on many, many different levels. The first level being that it sucked. But then, well, Shania Twain's kinda hot. But after hearing that and watching that? Not so much. She really needs to not do that anymore, as it completely negates any and all hotness she might have going for her. And it also puts her in a dead heat with Celine for worst cover song of all time. (Did she realize that the song was NOT of the country music genre?)

These are both perfect examples of things that you have no idea why anyone ever thought they were a good idea in the first place. Look....ladies, you both can sing many, many types of songs very, very well. And you look marvelous. But AC/DC songs are not your forte. Nor will they ever BE your forte. So just knock it off and don't do it again. Shania, you can go back to just being hot and Celine you can go back to, um, being Candian. Just don't sing AC/DC anymore. Please.

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4 comments:

Anonymous said...

This was hilarious as usual...especially ur comments about her co-singer Ana-whatshername..i think she is some B list singer who is famous for having breast cancer but don't quote me on this...

Sorry I have to disagree with your assessment of which was worse...Celine wins hands down without a question...Watching Skeletor..sorry I mean Celine do pelvic thrusts and hip rolls was just plain gross and scary...

How does Rene do the nasty with this woman is my question...he is a big guy...ur being generous saying she weighs a whole 84 pounds..I'm thinking more like 65...

Shania's country version was retarded no question but she is beautiful and seems normal in interviews (sidenote have u seen the Queen of Quebec in her interview after Katarina--kooky is all i can say
http://youtube.com/watch?v=JjYABkvSiTI she prob meant well but her quebecois drama queen persona is just a bit 2 much 2 stomach)...back 2 Shania...1 would have thought her soon-2-be ex hubby, the metalhead producer, would have dissuaded her from such an embarassing display...but even pretty country singers get bad advice from time 2 time it seems.

FYI..Celine is more Quebecois and not really Canadian...it's an entirely different thing..trust me on this...a dirty old man dating a 12 yr old ingenue is more common in Quebec than the rest of Canada...

Mare said...

Hey, thanks! Skeletor! THAT was hil-arious. I follow poker & always see Mr. Celine Dion at the tables, but never see her around. That must be why he plays (and poorly, at that). Yeah, 84 pounds was definitely being generous. Even still, I don't know how she managed that one legged, Angus Young hop in those heels. So Quebec isn't typical Canadian, eh? Good to know. (Not sure if the oldster & the 12 yr. old scenario is good to know, but the former is). And while Skeletor's performance was definitely bad, Shania's singing was horrible. I'd give Skeletor the prize for worst performance and Shania the prize for worst vocals (though the one part where she pointed to someone in the crowd and was just laughing and saying something like "You got it!" was cringe-worthy. She seemed crazed. I wish I knew what they were doing. I'd have to guess breaking out the hard liquor if they saw that number coming.)

Cool Fish said...

Oh preach it. PREACH IT. Celine gets a nomination for the WTF Awards of 2008.

Mare said...

Gets the nomination and takes the LEAD for the 2008 WTF Awards. And there's still 6 more months to go in the year! Oh, what awaits us?