Friday, June 13, 2008

I Need Tequila, But Not THAT Tequila.


Unfortunately, one of the drawbacks to doing this blog is that I have to pay attention to idiots in the news. Today's idiot is Tila Tequila, described by a Farker over at Fark.com as "Poorly tattooed, Asian, MySpace dwarf-slut." And, well, I can't add much to that. Oh, yes I can! I can add that she feels that she is the one, THE one, who is responsible, RE-sponsible, for the (and I'm quoting the news farce organization MSNBC here) "historic legalization of gay marriage in California." Wait. What?

Correct. Tila Tequila believe that her "reality show" "A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila", was HUGE influence in the changes that are about to take place throughout California, the most populous state in the nation. Um, and HOW did she do this?

Well, if you ask HER (and I really can't recommend that you ask her about ANYTHING to tell you the truth) she would say (and she has) that “It is because of me. I definitely think (my show) has helped the movement.” That statement being told to the mega-news outlet "US Weekly" on Wednesday. What the hell is her show you ask? I've asked the same thing and that was while viewing the entire 10 minutes that I was able to actually stomach. Apparently "A Shot At Love" has a bunch of men AND a bunch of women all vying against each other through a series of poorly thought out challenges that are designed to prove absolutely nothing, but that are pretending to be designed to help Tila find the man OR woman of her dreams. Correct.

It's sort of like The Dating Game for the Gender Identity Confusion crowd. I really don't know that calling it "A Shot At Love" is the most appropriate. Given the format (and Tila Tequila herself) I'd say that perhaps "A Shot At Laid (as in Getting Laid)" would be more appropriate. Regardless, I never thought that any medium that features the potential for girl-on-girl action would not be appealing. That show is beyond unappealing. It's almost as unappealing as Tila Tequila herself. (I'm thinking she calls herself that to remind you what you're going to need a lot of in order to deal with her. That's right, your buddy Jose, as in Jose Cuervo, is going to want to come along for the honeymoon.)

She continues speaking from atop her unicorn in the land of fairies while waiting for the Easter Bunny to appear by saying, “Before it came out, everyone was still a little apprehensive about same sex relationships. Then they realized, ‘Wow, everyone is really into this stuff, and it is fine.’ The next thing you know, gay marriage is legal.” Um, here's a news flash for you, Cupcake. "Everyone" wasn't "a little apprehensive". Those IN the SSRs (Same Sex Relationships) were just fine. And it only SEEMS like the "next thing you know" because YOU seem to have the IQ of a houseplant and have only recently woken up to experience the going-ons in society. So, it might be the next thing SHE knew, but for others, it took a while.

Yeah, come to think of it, that "next thing you know" comment kind of gives you some idea of how familiar she is with the whole legislative process. (Um, might I suggest a little "Schoolhouse Rock"? Perhaps "I'm Just A Bill". It really does explain how a bill becomes a law!)

By the way, here is a photo of the California Supreme Court, the folks who ultimately gave the OK to same-sex marriage. Just exactly which one of these seven justices does Tila Tanqueray (or whoever she is) think that she was able to influence with her oh-so influential piece of reality show crapola?



She let US Weekly in on a couple of inside scoops during her "responsible for gay marriage" revelation. One, she is writing a self help book. (HOW?! HOW is she writing?! And about WHAT?! Self help with WHAT?! "How To Legalize Gay Marriage In YOUR Very Own State"? WTF?!?) Two, she won't fall in love with a man. Or a woman. What else is there you ask? Come on now! If it's not a man and it's not a woman it's the next obvious thing. Correct. A continent. Wait. What?

She's going to Africa and thinks that she could "fall in love with Africa". We can now only pray that she stays in Africa.

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