Monday, November 10, 2008

Fey-lin and Other Celebrity Spawn

Well, here's one you don't hear about every day (I hope). I guess that would depend on how many people that you kind of don't really know all that well (personally, as opposed to physically) would be offering up their teenage daughter (whom you really do not know AT ALL) to babysit for your small child when you were having a hard time finding a babysitter. If you're Tina Fey, it happens to you when you're on the set of Saturday Night LIve to make a guest appearance and give your comedic portrayal of Vice Presidential candidate, Sarah Palin. Oh, and it actually IS Sarah Palin who made the offer.


Apparently, that week that Sarah Palin was on Saturday Night Live Tina Fey needed someone to babysit her daughter, Alice (What is it with 'Alice' popping up all over the place these days?!) and was having a difficult time finding someone to do so. (All of those folks over there and no one can watch the kid? Tina Fey didn't plan ahead? I don't get it.) Well, Eskimo Governor to the rescue!! Right before the show, Caribou Barbie there went up to Tina Fey and asked if Alice was still around and Fey told her that she had found a babysitter and that Alice had gone home. That's when Caribou Barbie says, "Oh, 'cause Bristol would have babysat!" Bristol being her 17-year old pregnant teenage daughter, of course.


Now, I don't know about you, but I'm no so sure how I'd feel about my Mom offering me up as the sacrificial babysitter for someone. Granted, it's Tina Fey (and if you knew my mother, you'd know that the chances of her ever even knowing someone remotely like Tina Fey, or even someone just named Tina, are slim to none) and that might make a difference, but it's hard to really know. Oh, AND it just happened to be Bristol's 18th birthday!

Fey told this lovely tale to Conan O'Brien on his show on October 28, the video of said tale is below.




Being volunteered to do something that your Mom thinks that you should do is one thing, but on your 18th birthday? Granted, being preggers and all that does put a bit of a damper on whatever festivities might have arose if she had not been preggers. (Then again, it was probably the festivities that did arise that caused all of the preggers in the first place.) I mean, come on! You've just turned eighteen, you're on the set of Saturday Night freakin' Live, you're NOT in Alaska and your Mom, who is running for Vice President of the United States, volunteers you tospend your time on the set babysitting for a toddler whose mother just happens to make a living mocking your own mother on national TV once a week! Sure! Happy birthday!

As I was looking unsuccessfully for more pictures of Tina Fey and her daughter (Nice job, Tina! Keep that kid out of the spotlight and give her a chance at normalcy. I can't argue with that.), I came across pictures of other celebrities and their legitimate or not spawn. I was amused.


Here we have Nicole Richie and Joel Madden and their daughter Harlow. It would appear that Nicole Richie is looking for pumpkins. It would appear that Joel Madden is thinking about breasts. What is it with the multiple sets of round objects together? The pumpkins. Her glasses. Even the kid is looking around for something breast-like.



Next is Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise. The child is adorable. And it's not her fault that she came into the being of Katie and her husband, L. Tom Hubbard. But does Katie really look like she's all that into the Mom thing? Had it not been for the camera taking the photo, it's highly likely she was about the shoo the child away. "Go on! Back! Back to the nanny!"


Now, doesn't the 55 year old Dennis Quaid look just thrilled to have a pair of young twins (Thomas and Zoe) to raise? The man looks as if he could not be more angry at his fertile, fertile bride there. He has the look of "I can't believe I'm doing this crap again at my age! Stupid Viagara."


The caption on this photo read "Gwen Stefani's son Kingston Rossdale dresses as a skunk for trick or treating in Beverly Hills on Oct. 19." That explains the perplexed look on the boy's face, as no one actually HAD any candy on the 19th as they were 12 days early for Halloween.


Next, Gwyneth Paltrow goes for a walk with her son Moses Martin while they are in London. She was apparently afraid of he might stumble into the high seas and made sure that he wore a jacket that doubles as a life preserver just as a safety precaution.


This is Selma Hayek and her child, Valentina. Perhaps she should hang out with Katie Holmes, as she too seems ill-prepared and in a bit of shock at the notion of raising a child. To her credit, she does seem overly prepared to breast feed.


Of course, what list of celebrities and their spawn would be complete without a picture of a celebrity and her International Collection of Children. Angelina Jolie, in her black, long, flowing dress and fly-eye sunglasses is seen inconscpicuously walking down the street with her three children of various ethnicities, oneof whom is wearing lime green Crocs. Good thing she has on those big sunglasses so that no one will be able to recognize her! It's only because of an extremely alert photographer who just happened to have his camera with him that this snapshot was possible.






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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

About the Quaid twins...you are really uninformed about the entire situation. Gossip is fine, but there has to be some mocicum of even hearsay knowledge behind it!

Mare said...

I'm going to assume that you meant "modicum", in which case I can agree with you that there should be one, for both my posts and for your spelling.

It's hard to pinpoint what 'gossip' you are referring to, as I made an obviously subjective and sarcastic comment about the man's facial expression.

I am fully informed about the situation with his children. They were in a park when that photo was taken, so it wasn't "hospital debacle related" if that's what you're referring to. I'm wordy enough as it is without giving the man's life story when I'm merely mocking his evil grimace on a sunshine-y day.

But thanks for reading! Tell a friend!