Saturday, November 15, 2008

"Childrens do learn..."

Just over sixty days before Messiah Barry is sworn in as the 44th President of the United States. Now that may seem like a long time, especially to those of you who can't wait for all of that 'change' to get busy 'changing' things. But it might not seem like so long if you consider that, as of today, George W. Bush has been in office for 2,857 days. And those sixty plus days are just going to fly right on by compared to the last 2,857, I would imagine.

But the one thing that concerns me quite a bit about Changey McOptimism over there taking office is the humor factor. Barry isn't an overly mockable guy. Oh, sure he has his quirks. I think. Well, I know he has big ears, but I really don't see how that's going to help me out over here. I need flubs! I need mispronunciations! I need idiocy! Because for all of the things that W has given us that we didn't want, the debt, the despair, the division (of the country, not long), he's also provided us with amusement. You know, 'cause he doesn't seem real bright. Nope. Not the sharpest tool in the shed. ::::sigh::::: Again, another poor example of the validity of the statement "Anyone can become President." Yep. Anyone. Apparently.

So I'm using this moment to take a fond look back at the eight years that were. The eight years of yore. (As W would ask, "My what?") The eight years that were chock full of words of wisdom, thoughts to ponder, statements to mull over, and much, much more. But mostly, eight years of scratching our heads, faceplanting our palms in the middle of our foreheads and asking, "What the hell was that?"

And now to embark on the first four of those perplexingly orated eight years under George W. Bush. Behold!

  • "I think anybody who doesn't think I'm smart enough to handle the job is underestimating." U.S. News & World Report, April 3, 2000

  • "I think we agree, the past is over." Dallas Morning News, May 10, 2000

  • "We don't believe in planners and deciders making the decisions on behalf of Americans." Scranton, Pa., Sept. 6, 2000

  • "One of the common denominators I have found is that expectations rise above that which is expected." Los Angeles, Sept. 27, 2000

  • "I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." Saginaw, Mich., Sept. 29, 2000

  • "I mean, there needs to be a wholesale effort against racial profiling, which is illiterate children." Second presidential debate, Oct. 11, 2000

  • "They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's some kind of federal program." Nov. 2, 2000

  • "Natural gas is hemispheric. I like to call it hemispheric in nature because it is a product that we can find in our neighborhoods." Washington, D.C., Dec. 20, 2000

  • "The California crunch really is the result of not enough power-generating plants and then not enough power to power the power of generating plants." Jan. 14, 2001

  • "I want everybody to hear loud and clear that I'm going to be the president of everybody." -Washington, D.C., Jan. 18, 2001

  • "There's no question that the minute I got elected, the storm clouds on the horizon were getting nearly directly overhead." May 11, 2001

  • "A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it." July 27, 2001

  • "It is white." Response to a child in Britain asking what the White House was like, July 19, 2001

  • "We need to counter the shockwave of the evildoer by having individual rate cuts accelerated and by thinking about tax rebates." Washington, D.C., Oct. 4, 2001

  • "I couldn't imagine somebody like Osama bin Laden understanding the joy of Hanukkah." During a Menorah lighting ceremony at the White House, Washington, D.C., Dec. 10, 2001
  • "I've been to war. I've raised twins. If I had a choice, I'd rather go to war." Charleston, West Virginia, Jan. 27, 2002
  • "And so, in my State of the - my State of the Union - or state - my speech to the nation, whatever you want to call it, speech to the nation - I asked Americans to give 4,000 years - 4,000 hours over the next - the rest of your life - of service to America. That's what I asked - 4,000 hours." Bridgeport, Connecticut, April 9, 2002
  • "The problem with the French is that they don't have a word for entrepreneur." Said during a conversation with Prime Minister Tony Blair regarding the decline of the economy in France. Aug. 2002
  • "There's an old saying in Tennessee - I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee - that says, fool me once, shame on - shame on you. Fool me - you can't get fooled again." Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002

  • "I'm the commander - see, I don't need to explain - I do not need to explain why I say things. That's the interesting thing about being president." Quoted by Bob Woodward from his book "Bush at War."
  • "I think the American people - I hope the American - I don't think, let me - I hope the American people trust me." Washington, D.C., Dec. 18, 2002
  • "Now, we talked to Joan Hanover. She and her husband, George, were visiting with us. They are near retirement - retiring - in the process of retiring, meaning they're very smart, active, capable people who are retirement age and are retiring." Alexandria, Va., Feb. 12, 2003
  • "I recently met with the finance minister of the Palestinian Authority, was very impressed by his grasp of finances." Washington, D.C., May 29, 2003
  • "I'm also not very analytical. You know I don't spend a lot of time thinking about myself, about why I do things." Said while aboard Air Force One on June 4, 2003

  • "I'm the master of low expectations." Again, aboard Air Force One, June 4, 2003

  • "Now, there are some who would like to rewrite history-revisionist historians is what I like to call them." Elizabeth, N.J., June 16, 2003

  • "We had a chance to visit with Teresa Nelson who's a parent, and a mom or a dad." Jacksonville, Florida, Sept. 9, 2003

  • "I glance at the headlines just to kind of get a flavor for what's moving. I rarely read the stories, and get briefed by people who are probably read the news themselves." Washington, D.C., Sept. 21, 2003

  • "The ambassador and the general were briefing me on the - the vast majority of Iraqis want to live in a peaceful, free world. And we will find these people and we will bring them to justice." Washington, D.C., Oct. 27, 2003

  • "I want to thank the astronauts who are with us, the courageous spacial entrepreneurs who set such a wonderful example for the young of our country." Washington, D.C. Jan. 14, 2004

  • "See, one of the interesting things in the Oval Office -- I love to bring people into the Oval Office -- right around the corner from here -- and say, this is where I office, but I want you to know the office is always bigger than the person." Washington, D.C., Jan. 29, 2004

  • "The recession started upon my arrival. It could have been -- some say February, some say March, some speculate maybe earlier it started -- but nevertheless, it happened as we showed up here. The attacks on our country affected our economy. Corporate scandals affected the confidence of people and therefore affected the economy. My decision on Iraq, this kind of march to war, affected the economy." Meet the Press, Feb. 8, 2004

  • "In my judgment, when the United States says there will be serious consequences, and if there isn't serious consequences, it creates adverse consequences." Meet the Press, Feb. 8, 2004

  • "I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein." Washington, D.C., May 25, 2004

  • "I don't know why you're talking about Sweden. They're the neutral one. They don't have an army.'' Reported by the New York Times as being said during a meeting with Rep. Tom Lantos in the Oval Office.

  • "We stand for things." Davenport, Iowa, Aug. 5, 2004

  • "We actually misnamed the war on terror. It ought to be the Struggle Against Ideological Extremists Who Do Not Believe in Free Societies Who Happen to Use Terror as a Weapon to Try to Shake the Conscience of the Free World." Washington, D.C., Aug. 6, 2004

  • "I think it's very important for the American President to mean what he says. That's why I understand that the enemy could misread what I say. That's why I try to be as clearly I can." Washington, D.C., Sept. 23, 2004

  • "I hear there's rumors on the Internets that we're going to have a draft." During the second presidential debate, St. Louis, Mo., Oct. 8, 2004

  • "I always jest to people, the Oval Office is the kind of place where people stand outside, they're getting ready to come in and tell me what for, and they walk in and get overwhelmed in the atmosphere, and they say, man, you're looking pretty." Washington, D.C., Nov. 4, 2004
  • "Justice ought to be fair." Words of wisdom from the White House Economic Conference in Washington, D.C., Dec. 15, 2004
  • "I hope you leave here and walk out and say, 'What did he say?'" Beaverton, Oregon, Aug. 13, 2004

Oh, don't worry. We will. We are. Just don't worry.

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