Sunday, November 9, 2008

I Am A Gender Neutral Male

When I started doing this thing (I hate the word "blog". Not as much as I hate the word "blogger", but it's a close second.) my goal was to be able to see both or all sides of an issue, no matter how asinine or naked some of those sides may be, and then clearly (and with a lot of parentheses) mock the heck out of the jackasses and wrap it up all neat and tidy with a bow. OK, so I've never used a bow, but mocking jackasses I've managed to accomplish to a large degree; that I will admit to. Recently it's been suggested to me that I take a more definitive stand on things. I don't know if I'm comfortable taking such a strong stand on things one way or the other that it becomes predictable or that I become predictable. That's why I was striving for neutral. (Actually, I was striving for mediocre, but I'll take neutral.) And apparently, I have accomplished my goal.

Someone out there has created what they are calling the Gender Analyzer. The way that they describe their little 'toy' and what it does goes like this: "We created Genderanalyzer out of curiosity and fun. It uses Artificial Intelligence to determine if a home page is written by a man or woman. Behind the scene, a text classifier hosted over at uClassify has been trained on blogs written by men and women. In our lab it seems to works pretty well, we want to see how it performs on the web! We hope you like it! " Well, well, well. Naturally, I gave it a whack.

The analysis came back stating that my blog "appears to be gender neutral (a slight preference for male)." Oh, really? Now, granted, I am freakishly strong and have a voice that can at times rival that of the late and great Barry White. However, I don't see how either of those would play into the factoring of gender analysis in this instance as I am, by all accounts and according to an impromptu spot check just a few seconds ago, female.

But I was pretty happy with the "gender neutral" designation. That's kind of what I was aiming for in the overall scheme of things. (ONLY on the blog! I'm ONLY striving for 'gender neutral' status ON the blog! No where else! Everywhere else I'm striving for 'female' or, at the very least, just not 'bitch'.) And I really liked how they used parenthesis in their analysis! That was a nice touch!

And the fun didn't stop there! From there I went over to the Typealyzer. The Tylealyzer folks tell us that " is developed by the happy people @ prkfect . se." OK. How happy? Well, happy enough to write this app that basically analyzes the text of a blog and then generates what characteristics or what type of persona the person writing the blog has. Uh-huh. AND?

I ended up being classified as something called ISFP - The Artists. (I do like art!) It summed me up like so: "The gentle and compassionate type. They are especially attuned their inner values and what other people need. They are not friends of many words and tend to take the worries of the world on their shoulders. They tend to follow the path of least resistance and have to look out not to be taken advantage of. They often prefer working quietly, behind the scene as a part of a team. They tend to value their friends and family above what they do for a living." Eh, mostly true. The "not friends of many words" line? What a bunch of crap. Have they read this thing lately? Words are my friends! And the "tend to take the worries of the world on their shoulders" I think I'd probably disagree with that as well. Oh, I am concerned that people are morons, that part is true. But do I constantly worry about it? Not so much.

It even provided me with a lovely chart of my brain on blog! Behold! What the inside of my head may or may not look like when I'm doing this!

They definitely got the Thinking part and the Feeling part mixed up there. (They also spelled 'rhythm' incorrectly. That large 'Sensing' section there will be sending them an email shortly.) I'd definitely switch those. The Typealyzer also provided me with a little thing that they call a 'badge'. (Sure, in the sense that The Scarlet Letter was also 'a badge'. It's hideous.) And if I wanted to, I could use it as a widget on the blog. Again, if I was so inclined. I am not. But I will share. Behold!

See? Spiffy, eh? And that's about the extent of the 'feeling' me. What's next, you ask? Something called oFaust. oFaust is self proclaimed as a 'literature expert'. It claims to be able to tell me which classical author my text is most like. Oh, really? This should be good.

I had it analyze the first paragraph in this post. And apparently that translates out to being 33% like Lewis Carroll! The 'Alice in Wonderland' guy? (Hmmm. In a way, an 'Alice' has been on my mind lately, but I can't imagine that had anything to do with it.) All right, well, hold on just a minute there, Sparky. Let's try another one. This time, I took the 2nd to last paragraph from the post about the lesbians and the Mormons and ran that one through and, once again, I come up like Lewis Carroll, but only 23% this time. Hmmm. And that paragraph that I chose was also, in a way an 'Alice' related. Interesting. (But if you're asking me, Lewis Carroll sort of looks like the one who is the gender neutral male around here.)

I think I'm most happy about being a gender neutral male. I don't really buy into all of the 'feely-feely' stuff, but it's nice that there's something like that out there for those who do buy into all of the 'feely-feely' stuff. And I don't know what to think about my writing style being somewhat and vaguely similar to that of a guy who wrote whilst on LSD. That concerns me just a bit. (And for anyone who was ever curious, it definitely gives you a little insight into what it's like in my head.. ALL...THE...TIME.)

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