Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Crime Where? In The South

This will pretty much speak for itself. Oh, you will have questions! At LEAST two. The only logical answer will be "it's in the south." You'll see.

Today's look at what happens when there's too much chlorine in the gene pools takes us to Memphis, Tennessee. And, just in case you missed it, Memphis is in the south.

A person was approached by two other individuals, one of whom shot him, while he was pumping gas at a Memphis filling station on Monday. After the shooting, of course, the suspects fled. From what I can tell, criminals in the south are fine up to this point. It's after the fleeing ensues that they become confused, occasionally disoriented and come up with less than brilliant plans that they honestly believe will aid in their escape.

They were pulled over after running a red light (shocker), so they jumped out of the car and fled on foot. They haven't been apprehended yet. I'm assuming the police are either still putting up that yellow tape somewhere or are actively searching through all dirt and leaves in the vicinity of the crime.

But this time was different. Oh, yes. See, this time, they have the names of the individuals. That's why right now, they're on the lookout for suspects "Butter Roll" and "Corn Roll." (And I am looking for a wall to bang my head against.)

How in the hell do they know that? Obviously, if someone knows that the two individuals were named BUTTER ROLL and CORN ROLL, you're going to have to assume they have a LITTLE more information than just THAT. You don't just KNOW that someone is named CORN ROLL, for cryin' out loud! You don't even WANT to know that someone is named CORN ROLL, for cryin' out loud! Cough it up! Where are the Rolls?! Both Corn AND Butter!!! We know you know! We have ways of making you talk!!! (We just don't have ways of making this go away.)

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