Friday, February 8, 2008

Biggest Pet Peeve? Animals Dressed as Humans


The whole Britney Spears debacle bothers me. On many levels. Especially this one: Lynne Spears, loser mother of The Brit (Yes, I believe that is her official title.), made some statements in a sworn court declaration for the purpose of obtaining a temporary restraining order against one Sam Lutfi (the "sometime manager" of The Brit). These statements allege that he was drugging The Brit without her knowledge. With knowledge, it's called 'partying'. Without knowledge, it's grounds for a restraining order, which seems reasonable. (Side note: Lutfi's full first name is actually Osama. Yo, Brit! I know you've got a lot going on and all, but don't put all of your trust in a guy named Osama. Please.)

When Lynne showed up at The Brit's home on Jan. 28, 2008, she found Osama in charge (never a pleasant sentence to write) and The Brit more confused than usual. She stated that The Brit, "...became very agitated and could not stop moving." Now that confuses me more than usual because when I think about people "being drugged", I don't think about them being drugged with speed. No, actually, I picture quite the opposite. But I digress. She also stated that The Brit, "...cleaned the house. (Apparently cleaning the house is cause for alarm with members of the Spears' clan?) She changed her clothes many times. She also changed her dogs' clothes many times." Did you catch that?

Just to recap, the person making this statement to the court is supposed to be the sane one. The one who is looking out for the other one. The one who is supposed to be in touch with reality. I'm assuming that also means the one who doesn't think that it is normal for dogs to wear clothes! On purpose! How is it "out of the ordinary" for someone to change the dog's clothes many times?! That would imply that it's ordinary to change the dog's clothes! But it's not! It's not ordinary at all! In fact, what's really "out of the ordinary" is for the dog to have clothes on to actually change!! WTF?!

Look, I'm going to say this one time. I'll be brief, but apparently, it needs to be said.

Dogs don't need clothes. They're dogs. Now put down the leash, and back away from the dog.

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2 comments:

Dimitri Merrill said...

Check out www.animalsdressedashumans.com, maybe all those cute little guys will change your mind!

Mare said...

Hey, Dimitri.

Yeah, they're cute little guys and all, but they're still animals wearing clothes. They're animals. They have fur. They don't need clothes! That's why most animals don't have opposable thumbs. Because they don't have any buttons to do up, as they have fur instead.

Thanks for reading!

~ Mare