Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Ben Affleck & Matt Damon in Good Will Humping

Sometimes people think that it would be great to be famous. While I'm sure that the money is good, I don't know that the fame itself is all that desirable. Paparazzi following you around 24/7 when you're not wearing underwear (which, incidentally, is also 24/7 in some cases), all of your sex tapes freely making their way across the Internet. In a lot of cases, you would really lose the majority of privacy for anything below your waist (and the waist of others) in exchange for your fame.

But there are some perks that would definitely make it worth it. Like making a music video with a ton of other famous people to tell your girlfriend that you're F-ing Ben Affleck. It's really not as malicious as it may sound. After all, when your girlfriend makes you a video that tells you that she's F-ing Matt Damon, it really makes much more sense.

In case you live under a rock (and oddly enough, apparently under a rock with an Internet connection if you're reading this), I'm clearly talking about Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman. Apparently, two people who most of America cannot stand for more than a good hour at a time, have been dating each other for FIVE years! I had no clue. Good for them. It's probably things like this that keep that ol' spark goin'. Anyway, Silverman presented Kimmel with a musical video which let Kimmel know that she was, in fact, F-ing Matt Damon. She even had Damon help her with this most excellent and hilarious project.

Behold! She's F-ing Matt Damon.

Last night after the Oscars, Kimmel aired his own video in response (read: revenge). And what better form of revenge than to tell someone who is F-ing Matt Damon that you are, in fact, F-ing his best man-crush buddy, Ben Affleck.

If that isn't enough, there are at least 12 other very well known individuals that participated in this excellent and very original, short, musical production. That's the perk of being famous. Get all of your famous buddies together to join in singing a song that says the F-word no less than 57 times. And make a great video while you're at it to play on your late night talk show after the freaking Oscar awards. This is definitely an appeal factor that probably makes the whole everyone-knows-I-don't-wear-underwear issues seem minor. Or at least tolerable. (It's not bad enough to make some actually go put on some underwear, I know that. I read People!)

And it's all set to a melody that will be in your head for days. (And you're really going to have to pay attention to yourself because it will just come flying out of your mouth at the most inopportune moments. You'll be at the grocery store with the song in a loop in your head and the checker will ask you how you are and you'll blurt out, "I'm F-ing Ben Affleck." And while they will be thrilled for you on some level, you will only see their shock and dismay. It's not good for anyone really. So just pay attention is what I'm saying.)

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