Thursday, February 28, 2008


This is one of those stories that starts out with you feeling one way about it and ends up with you feeling an entirely different way about it. I would be referring to the story out of Australia entitled: "Snake Eats Family Dog As Kids Watch". And if you were wondering, yes, "Holy Shiite!" (or some derivation thereof) is an absolutely appropriate response to utter/shriek after reading that.

Now, although as the story goes on, while it remains unpleasant, it's not quite as bad as when it started. Strangely, it takes an odd turn. Or two. Apparently, the 16 foot python (hereafter referred to as the BFS, Big Fat Snake) "stalked the family's dog for days before swallowing the pet whole in front of horrified children in the Australian tropics, animal experts said Wednesday."

While I suppose I appreciate the fact that the "animal experts" were called in to deal with this, I'm thinking most non-animal experts could have made the same summation, considering that the BFS ATE the DOG! It's not a situation that it particularly difficult for a layperson to identify (often on the first try!).

The story continues with, "The family that owned the dog had actually seen it in the dog's bed, which was a sign it was out to get it." A fairly obvious sign, I would think. That's a sign that would be flashing a big warning message that says, "If you put your dog in it's bed, it will be eaten by a BFS." It's also sign that would indicate to me, "I've gotta get that BFS the hell out of here. Now! Actually, screw the BFS! I'm outta here."

"They should have called me then," See? I told you so! "...but (the BFS) got away and three or four days later, I was called and went around and removed it" after the dog had been killed," said the owner of a zoo in Australia. Huh. In Australia, they call the zoo owner to remove 16-foot pythons from their dog's bed after the BFS has eaten the dog? That seems like a rather broad and all encompassing job description there for the guy who owns the zoo.

"By the time the zoo guy arrived, the dog's hind legs and tail were all that could be seen." Now we've got hind legs and tail (which is attached to the "hind")....yeah, that's still quite a bit of dog that is visible on the OUTSIDE of the BFS.

So what would you do? Well, if you're anything at all like the woman who was there, you're going to think it's a good idea to throw some plastic chairs at the BFS with half a dog sticking out of it! And where is Australia? In the South. That is correct.

Now, when the zoo manager was asked about this (presumably, the zoo owner was pretty tired from removing the BFS from the chow hall and wasn't up to taking more questions), he explained that, "Removing the half-swallowed dog could have harmed or even killed the python, because dogs have sharp teeth and claws that could do the snake internal damage if it were wrenched out." I am unfamiliar with the term "wrenched out" when it is used in the context of removing a DOG from a BFS. I don't know what that means. I can't imagine it would involve a real wrench, but maybe. Really though, why is removing the dog even an option at this point? I don't get it. He ATE the dog! But also, why are they worried so much about the BFS?! It ATE the dog! Who the hell cares?!

He also added that "the snake was still digesting the dog at the zoo at the moment and will soon be relocated to the bush." WHAT?!!? Just let it go? If you're going to do that, why do you have to have it at the zoo AT ALL? Why not just leave it be? That makes no sense to me. But it's really not the only thing that doesn't make sense. No, THIS makes less sense: (For the record, had they STOPPED taking pictures and thrown a few more plastic chairs, perhaps they could have done more to save their dog. Who takes pictures at a time like this?! Why weren't they busy freaking out or passing out?! Oh, right, they were trying to figure out if they needed a flash.)

Behold! Pictures of the BFS and the HDD (Half Digested Dog)! (Here's your warning! They're very clear pictures of just what it says they are.)

Python Eating DogSnake Eating Dog

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