Sunday, February 17, 2008

WTF Was That, Bob?

There are very few requirements, from what I can tell, for one to become a US Senator. I know there's an age requirement and, well, that's about it, really. Oh, sure, there's an election that you have to win, but that's not so much a requirement as it is part of the Senatorization process. (Senatorization. Yes, that is correct. Yes, I believe it is a word.) Does it strike anyone else as odd that age is a requirement to get into the Senate, but age is not a requirement (or even a factor, apparently) to get out of the Senate?

You know I am talking about Sen. Methuselah Robert Byrd from WV. (Yes. I know. The SOUTH!) I am a little bit worried about the man. He's clearly not well. Why, why, and WHY is he still a US Senator?! Look, I'm not a big fan of the aging process myself. And I understand that it's not always that easy to accept that sometimes, when people age, they lose a step or two. Or three. But Senator Byrd hasn't just lost a step. He's lost both feet! And without any feet I don't think he can even take a step so that he can lose it later! Please see C-SPAN footage below to fully grasp what I'm talking about and the root of my complaint.

Well? See what I mean? Should he BE a Senator? Still??! The man took almost four minutes to attempt to let other members of the Senate (especially the Senator from our 51st state, Timbuktu) know that they should be addressing each other in the third person. Funny, when I think of "Senate" and "US Senator", grammar is not what pops into my head. Shocking, I know!

When I first saw this, I thought he was about to sneeze. Yet, no sneeze ever came. Due to the abscence of said sneeze, I'm fairly convinced he was having a stroke. I'm partially convinced he had more than one. I'm fully convinced that he should not continue to serve in the capacity of US Senator.

The other amazing part is that no one else ever says anything or does anything! Me? I'm over here praying that the man doesn't hit his head too hard on the way down! The Senate? Business as usual. Shuffle some papers. Welcome the Senator from Timbuktu. Whatever.

I will hand it to the announcer guy (Hey, I watch sports more than I do C-SPAN and sports have 'announcers'. I'm just going with what I know.) or whoever lets the Senators know that it's their turn. Senator Byrd gets done and this guy finally breaks the excruciating silence with a very simple and very professional, "...From Ohio." (He reminded me of Mario Lopez after the geographical ramblings of Miss Teen South Carolina with his oh-so-calm and straight faced, ", Miss....South.....Carolina?") That is why I am not the Senate announcer/name-caller person. I would not have said, "...From Ohio." No, from me you would have heard, "WTF was that, Bob?!"

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