Friday, July 11, 2008

WTF Is Wrong With You?

Well, a little good news-bad news here. First the good news. It is now illegal in Wisconsin to have sex with dead bodies. Now the bad news. Until now, it was not illegal in Wisconsin to have sex with dead bodies. Um....what was that?

On Wednesday, the state Supreme Court of Wisconsin said that Wisconsin law bans sex with dead bodies. And while one's natural reaction to such a statement would usually be, "Well, I should hope so!", it's really not that simple. Well, it's really not that simple if you're a lawmaker or a judge. If you're just a regular person (and by "regular person" I mean one who does NOT have sex with dead people) , it's pretty straightforward. I'll explain.

See, the state law "bans sexual intercourse with anyone who does not give consent whether a victim is dead or alive at the time." Obviously, according to Justice Patience Roggensack, a dead person cannot give consent. (Masters of the obvious, those state Supreme Court justices are.) In the majority opinion which she wrote, she stated, "A reasonably well-informed person would understand the statute to prohibit sexual intercourse with a dead person." Um, yeah, not to be disrespectful or anything here, um, Madam Justice Lady Court Person, but I don't know that being "reasonably well-informed" is a low enough standard for something like this. I'm not sure that being "informed" at ALL is even relevant to this. I'm thinking that it's really "normal" versus "sick, twisted and perverted" that's the measuring stick for this one.

Aside from the fact that this law was interpreted as being "cloudy" at best, there is another disturbing aspect to it all. (I know it's shocking that when talking about sexing up dead bodies that there would be more than one disturbing aspect to it all, but there are!) The court ruled in a 5-2 decision. That means that TWO justices voted AGAINST this! Are you freaking kidding me?!?!

The rationale of the two dissenting justices was that "lawmakers did not mean to ban necrophilia but to allow assault charges when someone was raped and then killed." Oh, I'm going to have to disagree. See, I think they DID want to ban necrophilia. In fact, I KNOW they wanted to ban necrophilia. You know why they wanted to ban necrophilia? Correct. Because there was an instance of it. A rather disturbing instance of it.

In 2006, a 20-year old woman was killed in a motorcycle crash. A week later, after one of them had seen a picture of the victim in the newspaper obituary, three f-ing sick individuals, Nicholas and Alexander Grunke (Twins. That's one hell of a shallow gene pool right there.) and Dustin Radke, all 22, armed "with shovels, a crowbar and a box of condoms" went to the cemetery where the woman had been buried. You can guess the intent.


But here's the thing about these jokers. One of them had seen her obituary photo and thought she was hot. He then asked the other two for some help in digging her up and they obviously agreed! (And by the way, it's the sick f-er on the left who had seen the picture and wanted to do...that with the body. It's the other two sick f-ing tools who agreed to help him.)

Look, I don't care who you are, male, female, whatever, if your buddy comes to you and says, "Dude! I saw this really hot chick! Yeah, she's smokin' hot. The thing that sucks is that she's, well, she's kind of dead. But, you know I was thinking, that shouldn't matter, should it? I mean, so what if she's dead, right? Yeah, so how's about you two guys come with me and help dig her up?" The only possible answer to that question is, "NO!" Actually, any variation of that is fine. So, that would include:
  • "No."

  • "Hell, NO!"

  • "Dude, are you f-ing crazy?! NO!"

  • "What is wrong with you?! NO!"

  • "You're SICK! NO!"

  • And many, many others along these same lines. (Please note how all suggested responses end with the word "NO!")

You see what I'm saying, right? It's just f-ing wrong on every level you can think of and on all of the ones that you can't. (Oh, and a box of condoms? Right. Because something like that without a condom would just be gross, right. Spare me.)

And while I find it absolutely ridiculous that "technically" necrophilia was not illegal in Wisconsin until these judges ruled that it was, I'm glad that they DID rule the way they did. Because had they not, things would have been just like they were before the ruling. That would be with NO ONE being charged in the incident I described earlier. Wait. What was that?

Correct. Because the law didn't specifically say "necrophilia", it could have been (and WAS) interpreted as not referring TO necrophilia. Granted, it also could have been interpreted as INCLUDING necrophilia as well, which is why the prosecutors appealed when the charges against the three were originally dropped. Now that the state Supreme Court of Wisconsin has ruled that the law DOES include necrophilia, the charges of third degree felony attempted sexual assault and misdemeanor attempted theft have been reinstated.

I don't know how long the sentencing range is for a third degree sexual assault charge in Wisconsin. However, whatever the maximum amount of time is, they should all be sentenced to that, provided that they're eventually found guilty or plead guilty. And while they're in jail, please, please, if nothing else, get these guys some mental help. Therapy up the wazoo. I'm almost inclined to think that the ones that actually agreed to help the one guy might need therapy more than he does (but that wouldn't be to minimize that they all need MASSIVE amounts of therapy to say the least). Seriously, think about if someone actually approached you with that sort of a request. The ol' "Hey, can you help me out here?" In that instance, if you are someone who does not freak out, tell your friend what a sick pervert he is and that you never want to talk to him again, there is something wrong with you that I do not have a clinical diagnosis for. I have a name for it, but nothing that would be considered "official". (Oh, it'd be considered "correct", but it would be far from "official.") But official or not, if you agree to something like that, there is something seriously wrong with you. Very wrong. Broken.

By the way, I'm a bit conflicted as to whether or not to include the picture of the 20-year old woman who was killed in a motorcycle crash. I just don't know if it's morally/ethically/whatever OK to include her picture along with the McPervert Gang as well. I really don't know how I feel about that. I might try and noodle that one through and if I change my mind and decide to post it, I'll explain why. But for right now, I think I shall refrain. Her family has probably been through enough as it is. I really wouldn't want to upset them further (should one of the six people that read this blog mention it to them). She was absolutely beautiful and it sucks and I am so sorry for the family's loss.

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1 comment:

Ninja Medic said...

I thought that working in EMS had exposed me to the very worst humanity has to offer.

Clearly, I was wrong.

I'm not sure what else to say, the retarded-ness of these eejits has rendered me speechless.

Oh, and you have more than 6 reader now. I've bookmarked you.