Thursday, July 24, 2008

Ex-Model Turned French First Lady

Please help us if Laura Bush ever gets a taste of the wild hair that Sarkozy's wife had that prompted her to write some songs and sing them. On an album. That was recorded and released. For public listening. Enjoyment?

Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, you may or may not be aware of, is a fairly hot French woman who ended up marrying the President of France, Nicolas Sarkozy, less than three months after they met. Look at her. Look at him. He really didn't have a lot of time to mess around with this one. For whatever reason, and I'm guessing "being President of France" was one of them, she liked him enough to "spend time" with him and when you're him, you don't ask questions. You just marry the broad.

Bruni-Sarkozy's record is entitled "Comme si de rien n'etait". Translated, that means, "As if nothing had happened." I have the feeling she will be singing that tune after they are divorced. Regardless, her record has topped the charts, knocking off Coldplay. (Really?) And she claims to have wrote the lyrics herself. That is a claim which I completely believe, especially after reading some of them.

The thing you should know about the First Lady of France is that before marrying the President of France, she, um, "spent time" with a lot of other fairly high profile men. Men like Mick Jagger, Eric Clapton, Donald Trump and Kevin Costner. Apparently she finds monogamy "boring". (Well, who doesn't?) Some of her lyrics seem to reflect these ideas. She also used to be a model. Some of her lyrics seem to reflect these ideas.

One song did not exactly make for smooth relations between France and Colombia. It might have had something to do with the lyrics, "You are my drug, more lethal than heroin from Afghanistan and more dangerous than Colombian cocaine." Apparently, Colombia was not amused. (I don't know what their problem was. What? Do they think that because the wife of the President of France sings that Colombian cocaine is dangerous that all of their loyal customers will go elsewhere for their 2-ton cocaine shipments?)
Actually, the name of that song is Ma Came (which apparently translates to "My Junk".) that full section goes, "You are my junk. More deadly than Afghan heroin. More dangerous than Colombian white powder. My guy, I roll him up and smoke him." I see. Did she really mean to say that she smokes him? That involves inhaling. I'm thinking she might have meant to allude to a synonym for exhaling. THAT would make more sense than all of the inhaling. (No, I'm not explaining. You can figure it out. I have faith.)

Then there's the song in which she apparently is blowing off criticism that she received after hooking up with President Sarkozy. She sings, "It's not correct, but it's good nonetheless. Let them curse me and I don't give a damn. I couldn't care less, I take all the blame, you need to know, you need to understand, I who made men dance, I give myself to you entirely, you are my lord, you are my love, you are my orgy." My. Well, it sounds like she adapts well to situations that, perhaps, are not optimal. Coping skills are good.

Again, I'm glad that Laura Bush isn't putting out albums that equate ol' G.W. there to Colombian cocaine and Afghanistan heroin. (Though, he would probably compare better to some free trade marijuana and a bottle of Jack Daniels. Both of those have rather mind numbing characteristics about them. The possible similarities are seemingly endless, now that I think about it.) I'm also glad that she didn't used to be a model or date Mick Jagger. I'm not quite sure why. There's just something about it that doesn't seem very First Lady-ish to me. And while I don't know exactly what I think a First Lady should act like, I'm not all that sure that I want her to sing to me that her husband is her orgy. No, I can do without that.

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