Monday, July 28, 2008

That's Not The Bat-Signal

One more place to add to my list of places I don't need to visit. Any more. Today's addition is Madrid, Spain. I have nothing in particular about Spain itself, nor Madrid itself. It's the guy walking through the streets of Madrid who is projecting images of his penis onto the sides of buildings that I have a problem with. Wait. What?

Apparently a one Jaime del Val is making the rounds through the streets of Madrid. The only difference between him and other tourists is that he is naked and wearing a contraption that, really, looks like something straight out of Ghostbusters. (But I know it's not from Ghostbusters because in Ghostbusters there were NO penises. Well, of course there were penises! We just didn't have to see them! And thank God for that! I mean, after all, it's Bill Murray for cryin' out loud.) The purpose of his crotch contraption is to project an image of his penis onto large surfaces for all those around to see. WTF? It's like some sort of phallic bat-signal!

This is disturbing on many, many levels. The first one is that the man who is walking around parts of Spain with high powered projection equipment attached to his genitalia is mentioned BY NAME in the story by the good folks across the pond at The Metro. WHY do they know this man's NAME? That leads me into the second level of wrongness. The one that says a man whose name is known should NOT be walking the streets of Spain, naked, and with the intent of projecting an image of his alleged manhood onto the sides of buildings. No, if you have gone through the trouble of learning this chap's NAME, it should only be under the pretext of your arresting him and taking him far, far away. Other than that, there's no reason to call this guy anything other than "you freak". Look at him, will you? Do you have a better name? I didn't think so.

Then there is the burning question (other than, "Oh, what the hell is that?!") which is, "What in the hell is the point?" Because from what I can tell, it has to be something bigger than just his penis (which really shouldn't be too hard to accomplish, judging from the photos). And I suppose that if his name is known, I should assume that his "cause" would be known as well.

So what is it? The "cause"? I'm guessing mental instability at this point. What? Oh, HIS cause. Sorry. His cause is to "...denounce the 'homophobia, sexism and hypocrisy' of the Catholic hierarchy and the 'empty symbol of a society of control and consumption, and a culture of tourism and the overall simulation', respectively", according to the Spanish website Terra. (Gracias.) Well, then. That explains why he was projecting the image of his unit (he calls the images his "organs of power", which sounds a bit like they would be penis superheroes.) onto the side of a Cathedral building on Tuesday night. Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute. NO IT DOESN'T!!!!

:::sigh::: Fine. Here. Behold. Organ of Power Projecting



OK, now I absolutely, for SURE know THAT was NOT in Ghostbusters! What is with the Black & Decker Snake LIght wrapping around his ASS?! (Oh, great. Now I've got that commercial in my head. "It's the Snake Light...from Black & Decker....it gets around, around, around, around....") And why does he have to be naked? Can't he just whip it out at each pre-selected location?<br>

NOTHING has explained why it is that he is doing....THAT to make his point! I'm fairly certain you can make a point against hypocrisy and homophobia and everything else he was against and even a few things that he wasn't against, AND that you can do so wearing some freaking clothes and without projectile genitalia! Has this man never heard of, oh, I don't know, A SIGN?!?! Is the concept of "picketing" completely lost on this dude?!?! Judging from those photos I'd have to guess that, sadly, it is.

Not only has he projected his schlong onto the side of a Cathedral (which is a fairly good way to get your ticket to hell pretty much confirmed), before he did that, according to Terra, "he launched his deformed genitals in front of Congress to denounce 'the weakness of democracies'." Now they're deformed? So, shadowy, on the side of buildings AND deformed. Man, everything is just going wrong in this story. Not that it started off all that right to begin with. I'm just saying. But, you know, I don't know that a lot of people are going to look at the Spanish Congress building and see a large, shadowy, deformed penis on the side of it and think, "He's denouncing the weakness of democracies!" I just don't see it happening like that.

When I've thought of exhibitionists (which is to say, never), I've always pictured the guy wearing that long coat and loafers with socks. Oh, and a hat. There's usually a hat involved. I don't picture some perverted Dr. Peter Venkman going around giving midnight showings of his penis in a fashion similar to that of a drive in movie. But this particular Spanish exhibitionist thought differently than I did. Except for the Ghostbusters part. You can't deny the similarities between the Penis Silhouette Creator and the Ghostbusters weaponry. Compare the two below.


It's undeniable. They're practically the same. Here's another one. Again, note the similarities; they're eerie.

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