Yeah, dude, that doesn't look gay at all. Nice. So, would you also say that nine out of ten times you're holding up the peace sign with no shirt on and wearing a bandanna around your head? Nothing says manly man like...well...like....well not like that! Are you sure you're not stuck in the 80s? Or are you just really, really wanting to be Corey Haim? Behold!
I'm finding all of this very odd. Up there he has this 80s teen heartthrob looking that he's trying, all the while it looks like he might have been poked in the eye by his Flock of Seagulls hair-do. (By the way, at this point, it's a pretty good bet that ol' Daddy Ray there has nothing to worry about. Nope! It's fine. NO problems there. Uh-huh!)
These photos were in the VMAN magazine. VMAN appears to be some sort of fashion magazine, but the sort of fashion is exactly what I'm unclear on. Behold!
OH, what the hell is THAT?! "Fearless Men's Fashion"?? You'd have to have ZERO fear to wear something like that and not be afraid that you were going to get the hell beat out of you by a real man! Are you kidding me?! "Spring is Looking Bright"?? For who?? Gay breakdancers?!
Here is one of VMANs photos of Gucci clothes that are being sported by what I can only surmise to be the VMAN version of New Kids on the Block.
I really don't know what to make of that. There's the guy on the left wearing his sister's pink My Pretty Pony pants. The dude over there on the right could easily be the spawn of the kid that starred with Molly Ringwald in Sixteen Candles. Next to him is a guy with a cereal bowl on his head (he's clearly the challenged one). And the guy in the middle is doing the most feminine version of Angus Young's one legged guitar hop that I've ever seen. So put a bowl on your head and run out and get yourself some Gucci quick!
OH, sure! Nothing says 'brawny' like having your man and his buddies dress up like a bunch of geishas in that photo below! "No, honey! I don't have time to watch the Super Bowl! I'm soaking my kimono in Woolite!" "No, you're going to have to go to the Monster Truck Rally next Saturday without me!"
OK, now someone is just being silly! Why is that in a fashion magazine that is supposed to be for men?! (Wait a minute. What does that "V" in "VMAN" stand for? I'm leaning toward "vagina" in this case. Well, I might lean toward it in cases other than this, but definitely this!)
And while the caption for the photo below says that it is clothing from the Calvin Klein collection, I still have questions. The first question is, who is collecting clothing like that? The second question is, "That guy on the far left looks like Doogie Howser with a jockstrap on his head. Why is that?" Just looking at the picture has caused a little song to pop up in my head. You know the tune! Sing along! "One of these things is not like the others! All of those guys...look kind of gay!" I can't help it! It keeps repeating!
I guess my point here has been that Daddy Ray Redneck has nothing to worry about with his daughter hanging out with Pretty Boy VMAN there. (Granted, I'm not thrilled about a 20-year old hanging out with a 16-year old, but I think I am less concerned about it in this situation than I would be with others and for fairly obvious reasons which I think I have clearly illustrated with illustrations!)
Look, there's a reason for men. And it's so that they can look like MEN! (And move heavy objects from time to time! What?? They like to do it!) I don't need a bunch of men that look like the Miami Vice wardrobe on crack. I need men that can move an armoir without worrying if they're going to break a nail! Where are all of the men that look like men?!?!
That's not exactly what I had in mind.Sphere: Related Content