I've refrained, with great difficulty, until now to comment on Nadya Suleman, the southern California woman who gave birth to eight, yes eight, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight children on January 26. Normally (ah, the irony), my only comment would be "Are you kidding me? Eight? Did she have them in a big box under the stairs? That's a litter!" But this isn't the normal abnormality of giving birth to the entire cast of Eight is Enough. No, this is an abnormal abnormality. And those two things do not cancel each other out to make this one big ol' normal thing. Not at all. It's a freak show and a half run by a psychotic ringmaster.
Sphere: Related Content
For some unknown reason, the fertility clinic where a one Nadya Suleman (known by me as the OctoMom) had her IVF done must have mistaken her for a gumball machine or something and crammed at least eight embryos in there. And wouldn't you know it? Of all the "luck", eight of the embryos "stuck". And that is how she came to have fourteen children. Wait. Fourteen? What?
Correct. Fourteen. Oh, did I not mention that Ms. Suleman already had six children? I didn't? She did. Already had six! I guess then that I didn't tell you that those six were all conceived through IVF as well. They were. Hey, I'm not done yet! The ages of the six children are 7 through 2 with the 2 year olds being twins. I'll do the math so that you'll know it equates to one full-term pregnancy every year for about six years. And that equates to being pregnant for 54 months and being not pregnant for 18 months. That's a hell of a ratio there. For every one month that you are not pregnant, you get to spend three months being pregnant. On purpose!! But at least she didn't have to worry about her husband complaining or anything because she's not married. But that's OK because she lives with her parents. And even that's OK because she doesn't have a job. Annnnnddddd....now! Twist off! There ya go. Quick and painful, I know. I've been there.
Everyone wants to know what in the hell this woman was thinking and as luck (or greed) would have it, we're about to find out because she's granted an interview to Ann Curry (of all people for the first interview. Must have been the highest bidder. NBC! NBC!)) and she tells her what her rationale and thinking process was (other than broken!). And what you learn may shock you. It will not do anything good, I'll tell you that right now.
The OctoMom told Ann Curry that she had always wanted lots of kids. "That was always a dream of mine, to have a large family, a huge family, and I just longed for certain connections and attachments with another person that I really lacked, I believe, growing up." OK, so she's still at the stage where she's blaming her parents and her childhood for her issues that she has as an adult. Great. Real mature thinking there. Great. What else?
Well, she said that she "...tried for years to become pregnant before undergoing IVF." So, just sleeping around, hoping to get lucky, eh? (It's about as good of an idea as having fourteen kids!) Great morals also. Grand. Next!
Her mother said that the OctoMom "....always blamed me for having only her (she was an only child)... She was always upset that I didn't have more." Last time I checked, that was kind of the decision of the parent, not the child. Most children do want a sibling, but they tend to get over it when they're an adult. They don't tend to become professionally pregnant. So of course, the OctoMom said that her childhood was "pretty dysfunctional." Oh, well, having fourteen kids while you're living in your mother's house? The house of the same mother who you blame for your condition? Well, that's definitely going to put the "fun" back in "dysfunctional" now isn't it? The OctoMom also said, "I didn't feel as though, when I was a child, I had much control of my environment. I felt powerless." Hmm. I wonder if that's because you were a child! The child isn't supposed to have control of the environment because they're the child! Why do you think I ended up eating things like broccoli and peas when I was growing up? Because I was the child and I didn't have a choice! What is wrong with this woman?
OctoMom's mother, Angela Suleman, stated that she was opposed to her daughter's latest pregnancy. Really? Hey, guess what? I'M opposed to your daughter's latest pregnancy as well! I'll do you one better than that! I'm also opposed to your daughter's other six pregnancies!
The folks over there at the New York Times tell us that the OctoMom's publicist, a one Joann Killeen, has said that "Ms. Suleman had not determined how she would support her family, though they were weighing several media offers, including some for financial compensation." Well that's some real good family planning right there! Don't you think that perhaps that should have been worked out, oh, say before you decided to have more children? Here's a question: How are you supporting the SIX that you already have?? Oh, I'm sorry I asked.
According to an Associated Press article "...documents reveal that Suleman collected more than $165,000 in disability payments between 2002 and 2008 for an injury she said left her in near-constant pain and helped end her marriage." Huh. $27,500 per year. So, let's see. Oh, hey! How about that?! Her disability payments started the same time that her pregnancies did! What a coincidence! (Grrrr......) And if someone is in "near constant pain" without having another human being inside of them, don't you think that playing host to an alien being once a year for six years would result in "constant pain"? I'd think so, but then again, I'm not the boneheaded doctor who signed off her disability papers either. What a scam.
A scam? Oh, I must be some sort of a cynic to think that, right? Well, duh! Cynic or not, this woman ain't quite right. Disability? Spare me. You know, there are people out there who actually need disability and they're finding it difficult to get. I think this chick is looking for a free ride probably in part due to her shopping her story around to all of the major media outlets and wanting somewhere in the neighborhood of two million bucks. And I'll tell you this: I'm all for that. As long as she uses the money to pay for her hospital bill if it turns out that she doesn't have insurance.
OctoMom's mother has said that she expects people's opinions to change now that her daughter is going public. I think she's right. My opinion has changed since this new info has come out. I can't stand this woman even more now! Her mother also said, "She's a very likable person. She's basically normal except for this obsession she's always had with children." You can't throw "except for this obsession" in there and have that justify that she's normal other than that! It's the "that" that makes this not normal! That's like saying a serial killer (sorry for the brutal analogy, but it's all I've got right now) is "basically normal except for, you know, all of the killing." See? Not normal!
This country is in the middle of it's economic downfall and everyone and their dog is cutting back and this woman goes in reverse and turns her uterus into a clown car and starts shooting out babies when she doesn't have a job or a husband and she lives with her parents! You know who needs to pay for all of this? The fertility guy that continued time after time after time to plant embryos inside of this woman as if he were planting a garden! I want him or her to pay for this. And not figuratively. Literally. Cash money. Fork it over. (I'd also like to know how the OctoMom paid for the IVF, as it is expensive and the norm seems to be around $20K. Rumor has it that she once worked at a fertility clinic or a sperm bank. I can't even begin to look into that one just yet, lest my head explode.)
I'll be watching her on the Today Show on Monday. Who am I kidding? I'm not up that early. I'll catch it online or on Dateline on Tuesday. And I'm expecting my opinion of the OctoMom to be different. I don't expect it to be good-different, but I'm expecting it to be different. I know what won't be different and that's my opinion of this whole situation. It's just wrong.