Octo Nightmare

Brace yourselves.  Octomom has done her masturbatory porn video.  It should be out by June.  I guess there's a lot of editing or something that goes on with these things?  I don't really know and I don't really think that I want to, either.  Actually, there are a lot of things that I didn't want to know about this.  And I'm going to share them with YOU.  How lucky do you feel?  What if I told you that by 'lucky' I meant 'nauseous'?  Better?  Yeah, not really for me either.  Well, you've been warned.  Here we go. 

According to the Huffington Post, in true Octomom lunatic fashion, Nadya Suleman says of her first porn video "I'm very excited for it to come out!"  Well, that makes one of us.  She's excited for it to come out?  Why would that be?  She is a laughing stock.  She is vehemently hated by many (and for good reason).  She's dead broke.  And now she's doing solo porn.  That's exciting for her?  I can think of a lot of other adjectives that I would have thought of before using 'exciting'.  Words like 'humiliated', 'upset', 'ashamed' and 'desperate' come to my mind.  But not hers.  Nope.  She's excited.  If that right there doesn't tell you all that you need to know about this chick, I don't know what else I can do for you. 

Here are some other excerpts from her thoughts on what is apparently the apex of her life.  "My first shoot was amazing...Such a learning experience for me in so many ways. I don't think I could have asked for a better crew to work with. They were so patient and willing to teach me. I owe a lot to Wicked Pictures contract star Jessica Drake; she opened my eyes to a whole different world of self-pleasure that I could have never imagined. They made me look so glamorous, and for the first time in my life, I felt beautiful and sexy. I'm very excited for it to come out!" 

A learning experience?  What in the hell did she learn?  Not to have fourteen babies when you don't have a job, a place to live or a spouse?  And I'll bet that her eyes were opened to a "whole different world of self-pleasure"!  It would definitely be a different world to be doing yourself surrounded by lights and cameras and an entire crew of people.  You know.  Because usually when you're doing that, you're typically alone!  And I don't care what she says and I don't care what she was wearing, doing masturbatory porn is not glamorous.  Maybe her and I have different definitions of the word (which wouldn't surprise me as I can't find a single thing that we have in common other than we're both female, and quite frankly, I'm ashamed to have that much in common with her), but what she just went through was not glamorous.  It doesn't surprise me that it was the first time she felt beautiful and sexy, though.  It's probably really hard to feel like you're either of those things when you're harboring practically and entire baseball team in your uterus. 

But here's the part that kinda made me wanna throw up a little bit.  It's definitely the part that I read at least three times and each time all I could muster up was "Wtf?"  It's the part that said "At the shoot, Nadya also posed for a set of photographs in which she's seated at the head of a long table, her body covered with SpaghettiOs"  Wait.  Wait.  I said WAIT!  SpaghettiOs?!  Number one, why would you waste perfectly good SpaghettiOs in such an obscene fashion?  And number two, did I mention wtf?  Yeah, WTF?!  Did THAT make her feel beautiful and sexy?  To have her both slathered with a delicious childhood treat that she probably feeds to her own children?  How is being covered in SpaghettiOs anything but disgusting?  And whose idea was that?  Was it hers? I don't get it. 

Even after it is explained, I still don't get it.  It says "For the pictures, we had her topless with a thick sparkly red choker with a big red heart in front and red and white polka dot panties ... like 1950s style...SpaghettiOs were all over her body and she's even throwing the SpaghettiOs toward the camera. The label on the can was changed from SpaghettiOs to say 'Saucy Octos.'"  Uhh...what?  How is being in red and white polka dot panties and covered with SpaghettiOs "like 1950s style"?  I don't fancy myself a historian or anything like that, but I am fairly familiar with the styles of the 1950s and I have never encountered a style that included being covered in SpaghettiOs.  Ever.  And wtf is a 'Saucy Octo'?  They're not shaped like eights!  They're shaped like Os!  It's right there in the name SpaghettiOs.  Not SpaghettiEights! 

I don't understand any of this.  Then again, she is, by most definitions, mentally ill (in at least one form or another), so I guess that this isn't supposed to make a ton of sense.  There's still no word on how much she was paid to do this, but whatever it is I don't see how it's going to solve her long term problems.  And while she might have declared bankruptcy, I went through the paperwork and she hasn't filled out everything that she needs to.  If she doesn't turn in the required forms in a couple of weeks, her case is automatically dismissed.  And when (if) she does turn in the required forms, one of those will be a statement of her earnings and whatever she earned for the great SpaghettiO fiasco will need to be reported.  I'll get back to you when that information is available.  In the meantime, let's just try our hardest to forget all about this.  It's certainly not worth the nightmares that it will induce by remembering it.  But if you do want to remember it, there are a bunch of photos over at TMZ that should suffice. 

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How To Not Be A Good Parent

What we have here is a very strange case of what I'm dubbing "Irony by Idiots." It appears to be a protest going on in front of OctoMom Nadya Suleman's new home. She hasn't moved in just yet, but the media circus that follows her every waking move (she always starts off walking with her left foot; isn't that interesting? NO!) is constantly in full force. That gaggle of reporters must be quite trying for her new neighbors, who have just witnessed the disintegration of their calm and quiet little neighborhood. But back to the protest.

When I first saw this picture, I thought those folks looked a little young. They are. Because they're children. They can't be more than 12 at the most and two of them can't be more than 8! They have a lovely selection of posters with their messages of protest inked (surprisingly) neatly across them. We have such protesting statements (from the children) as:

• Get Ur tubes tied. (Um, she conceived through IVF. Having her tubes tied would not have made a difference.)
  
• Stop using ur kids for money! (You'd prefer she go back to your money, that of the taxpayer?)
  
• Go Back to Whittier! (Oh, grow up. Oh, wait. you're twelve.)
  
• Give The "Babies" a Good Home! (I am confused by the quotes around "babies", as people that are only 2 months old are babies. No need for quotes!)
  
• Stop having kids if you can't afford them! (I found it interesting they didn't go with the "U" and instead went with the "you", but they couldn't spell out "you're" and had to go with "ur". Odd.)
  

Now, these photos were lifted from some video footage over there at TMZ (without permission, nor malice) and I will credit the TMZ camera guy for seeing what this was at the beginning as he remarked to whoever he was with, "Child exploitation at it's best?" That's pretty accurate. But the shocker is that he's not talking about OctoMom.

The big kid in the front seems to be acting as the spokesperson for the Dingaling Brothers circus there. He tries to answer the questions with authority and anger, but instead he comes across as rather Jethro-ish. Below I've transcribed the interaction that TMZ filmed.

Other kids: Did you guys make all these signs?

Jethro: Nah.

Camera Guy: Is this your own idea?

Jethro: Yep.

Camera Guy: So you guys don't live here but you want her to go back? To where she's from? (Haven't we passed the "Go home!" with posters and protest stage in this country's history? I thought we had.)

Jethro: Yeah. (pause) We. Want. Her. To go back. (He's not the best spokesperson.)

Camera Guy: Why do you want her to go back?

Jethro: (Furrows brow. Hides behind sign. Still furrowing. Light bulb turns on over head!) Cause she's crazy! She's nutso! (Quick thinking there, Jethro. Good answer. Or not.)

Camera Guy: But you guys don't live here.

Woman behind camera guy: You guys don't live here, so how does it affect you?

Jethro: (Pause. Slowly tries to disappear behind his sign. No light bulb this time.)

Girl in middle: (Holds sign higher. Hopes for distraction.)

Camera Guy: Did your Mom put you up to this?

Jethro: (Deer in headlights look.)

Girl in middle: Yeah! Yeah, she did!

Jethro: (Laughing, laughing, laughing!)

Woman behind Camera Guy: Do you guys know who Nadya Suleman is?

Girl in middle: That creepy lady.

Just to make sure I understand this correctly, allow me to recap: Some poor excuses for parents sent their children over to stand in the street in front of OctoMom's new house (which she isn't even living in yet) with protest signs that don't make a lot of sense for a reason that I can't imagine. Regardless of the "reason", there's absolutely no justification for it at all. It never should have happened. Who are you people and what in the hell is wrong with you? You are either so spineless that you can't go out there and voice your own opinion yourself and so your selfishly make your children do it for you OR you set your children up to be in a situation that you knew would, more likely than not, get their picture in the media due to attention a stunt that like that would draw. That's how you raise your kids, yet you have a problem with Nadya Suleman? Oh, the irony.

I find it more than disturbing that the kids just wanted their picture taken for the news or whatever. They didn't care why. Those signs could have been advocating the legalization of child molestation and bestiality, they would have proudly stood there holding them and smiled away when the camera was pointed at them. But hey, their mom(s) put them up to it, so what else could they do but smile? ::::sigh::::: Good luck with your future, kids. With parents like that in charge of raising you, you're going to need all of the luck you can get.

Look, I have major problems with the choices that Nadya Suleman has made and seemingly continues to make. I have serious questions about her mental stability and the degree to which she is in touch with reality. That being said, I have no problems with protests of any sort, but only as long as: a) You're protesting against the correct antagonist, b) Your signs make sense (and preferably spell out the damn words), and c) You don't send your freaking children out to do it for you, you incompetent, self-serving, poor excuse for a parent that you are who exploited your own children for a purpose that doesn't matter because there's no justification for this!

Here's the thing: I'm sick of this woman. I am. She has perpetuated a mess of unimaginable proportions. (And it ranks right up there with AIG on my angry scale as to how ticked off I am. And I've been dealing with my anger toward AIG by dipping torch rags in oil once a day and waiting for the call to come that tells me the mob is beginning to assemble in the town square. Just to give you an idea of where that anger ranks on my scale.) But continuing to vent my anger toward Nadya Suleman is pointless. Being mad at her and her choices is likely pointless as well, but I'm still mad and that isn't changing. But what I think has to change is to realize that OctoMom couldn't have done this by herself. The "system" is flawed in so many, many ways and in this case, the "system" was her accomplice because (as far as we know), she legally took advantage of that system which enabled her to get to where she's at today. And it sucks, it's unfair, it's wrong beyond wrong and it's a whole lot of other things as well. But as far as we know, it's also legal. Therefore, while still harboring resentment and anger toward her, I'm redirecting the venting of my outrage toward the system.

When someone who doesn't have a job, isn't married, lives with their parents, and receives disability checks which are then spent on expensive IVF treatments which result in the birth of 14 children in a span of 7 years under those same circumstances, something in the "system" is broken, if not the entire system itself. That's why the system needs to change. Now. Because if it doesn't, this will happen again. And if we think we're angry now, how angry are we going to be if this happens again? Let's just say that pitchfork and torch salesmen would make a fortune.

But before anything can be changed, we need to know what's wrong FIRST. We might have an idea as to what's wrong and how this crap happens, but guessing in this instance really isn't the best approach. And while auditing the entire system in order to figure out where things are flawed will be expensive, it will pale in comparison to how expensive it's going to be if something isn't changed and if something isn't fixed. Soon.

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OctoMom is OctoNuts

Well, I wasn't expecting this one, but I'm not surprised by it either. The folks over there at Huffington Post are reporting that US Weekly is reporting (good Lord, is this high school?) that OctoMom's most recent "publicist" or whatever he was (always seemed more like a bodyguard than a guy who books you on talk shows) a one Victor Munoz, has quit. And thank you Victor for being someone who had any sort of a relationship with her since this debacle began and stating what we've all known but just needed to hear, "She's nuts."

According to the US Weekly folks,"It just got to be too much," he says. "It's pretty much a free for all over there right now. They are freaking out right now. Not to sound arrogant, but those people depended on me for everything. You have no idea what I’ve had to do for these people. Nadya got real greedy. This woman is nuts. This I can say: what ultimately destroyed the business arrangement was personal reasons." I can only imagine the running around that he had to do for her and that fourteen ring circus that goes on 24 hours a day, every day.

Now, let's just think about this for a minute. This guy is a publicist. His job? To spin the un-spinnable. To make beautiful mountains out of ugly molehills. To assist people in dealing with their own publicity (in other words, public figures). Think about how many times you have heard of a celebrity's publicist quitting. I'm sure there might be some, but I'm drawing a blank right now. Publicists have to be a certain breed of animal in order to do that job. I remember watching OctoMom's first publicist who ended up quitting. (She quit because of death threats stemming from people's outrage over a single mother, with no job and on food stamps and disability payments (for what appears to be a very non-disabling disability) paying over $100,000 for IVF treatments that ultimately resulted in the births of 14 children. You remember now, right? I thought so.) I watched her trying to put a positive spin on something that really didn't have one, and I thought that there was no way that I could ever do that job. I'm just not that way and I would suck at it. But that's why I don't do that job and other folks do.

But to be that sort of person who is in that industry, the publicity industry that is, you'd be used to what you have to endure. And dealing with a fair amount of "celebrities", I'm sure that you'd be used to some demanding and perhaps unreasonable requests from those types of clients. So to be driven to the point of resignation by OctoMom? That's some hard hittin' right there.

Does it surprise me? No, not so much. This is a woman who appears to have had plastic surgery in order to alter her appearance so that she more closely will resemble a one Angelina Jolie. She has denied that anything of the sort took place. (Yeah, well, it's not like it's the sort of thing that one can actually admit to doing, you know?) Am I supposed to believe that someone who wants to look like a major Hollywood celebrity would also not think that she is one and act the way that she perceives that they would act? I don't think I can believe that. Angelina Jolie or not, OctoMom thinks she's pretty important. She certainly thinks that she's important enough to have me, the taxpayer, support her and her lifestyle for the past 7 years. Personally, I would have liked to have been asked.

I'm kind of excited to hear Victor's take on the whole dealio. If I were him, I'd quit too, just knowing that whatever tabloids or publications had wanted to get a story from her would gladly pay to get a story from him. And his is one I actually want to hear! By the way, congratulations, Victor, for making it as long as you did. I think I would have twisted off Day One.

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Check, Please! OctoMom's Hospital Bill

I'm still attempting to not overload on Nadya Suleman, aka the OctoMom, posts, lest: a) My head explode, b) I explode, c) All nine of you who read this explode, or d) All of the above. But I was perusing TMZ and shamelessly, without permission, nor malice, borrowed the photo below because it's just too damn funny to pass up. The story behind the photo? While (thank God) OctoMom has turned down a $1 million offer to do porn, somehow she feels it is more "ethical" or "acceptable" or something to make that $1 million by selling the video of the Mocktuplets being born instead. Behold! A very funny picture depicting that very scenario!

I have a really hard time looking at that photo of her pregnant (without a For Sale sign impaled in it) without cringing and reeling back in horror. But looking at it this way, I still cringe and reel back in horror, only I'm laughing as I shield my face, screaming, "My eyes! My EYES!!"

I understand she needs to make money off of someone besides the California taxpayers. And as a California taxpayer, I'm all for that idea. I wholeheartedly stand behind anyone but me paying for her kids! Which brings me to the issue of the hospital bill. I understand that Kaiser has applied for Medi-Cal to pay for this debacle. (Kaiser, by the way, knew she did not have insurance but took her on as a patient anyway because, I'm assuming, they felt the publicity would be great. And I'm assuming that they knew that they could ask Medi-Cal to cover it. I'm not OK with that simply because Kaiser is a member-based HMO. She wasn't a member. They knew that. They took her on anyway. How is it my responsibility to pay for it? They knew what they were getting into, so they should suck it for the bill.)

According to the LA Times (who has been doing a fabulous job on this story) "2007 records show that Southern California hospitals received an average of $1,198 per day, per patient" when billing Medi-Cal for reimbursement. Take the2007 estimate of $1,198, realize that it is most likely a low estimate, and then multiply it by (sweet Jesus) eight and you'll end up with $9,584 per day. The Mocktuplets were born on January 26. I'm writing this on March 6. That's 40 days. That's $383,360 so far. Add on top of that the $150,000 that just the delivery is rumored to have cost (they had 46 doctors and nurses there for that freak show) and we're at over half a million dollars. Oh, and don't forget that SHE was in the hospital for at least two months before the gate was opened and children came spilling out. At a very reasonable 60 days and using the same reimbursement figures as above, that's another $71,880. Now we're at a whopping $605,240. I DON'T WANT TO PAY FOR THAT! (Sorry. Didn't mean to holler.)

If she ends up selling that tape to....who? Who is going to buy that? Who would want that? A clown college?? So that they can use it as training footage for clowns coming out of a Volkswagen?? Who would buy that?! (And why do they keep saying "tape"? Was it really "taped" on a "tape"? Not digitally recorded? Taped? Like on Beta?)

All sanity issues of any potential purchaser aside however, I'm going to have a huge problem with her getting to walk from the entire bill. And I'm not saying she should turn it all over to the hospital or use it all to reimburse the state. I'm saying she needs to start taking some sort of responsibility for something in her life! Ten percent. Am I out of line by saying that she should fork over ten percent of the hospital bill? I don't think I am. After all, she was quoted as saying, "My goal is to not be a burden on any taxpayers." Fabulous. Start with your OctoBill.

Wow. I thought I was just posting an amusing picture and then letting it be. Apparently, I've worked up a full lather of ire over this situation and it's not going away any time soon. By the way, mainstream media? You guys are pathetic. When I read stories about the :::gag:::: birthing tape up for sale, I keep reading that the hospital, despite the "historic nature" of the birth(s), did not videotape it (what's up with that, Kaiser?) and they don't know who did.

They don't know who did? You don't know who did? What is wrong with you folks? OctoMom said herself who taped it!! She said in an interview with Mirror.co.uk “I had no family with me at the birth. Only my friend Amira Smith. She videotaped it." There you go! Amira Smith! Amira Smith! Nice job, crappy media. Your research skills are impeccable. Haven't you guys figured out yet that you cannot believe anything that comes out of that chick's mouth? Everything that she says? Verify it. You'll find that 50% of what she says is utter crap.

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OctoDad? Is That You?

It didn't take too long to find someone crazier than the OctoMom, Nadya Suleman. Yes, I said crazier. More crazy than the unemployed, 33-year old, single woman who lives at home with her parents and has fourteen children under the age of eight. On purpose! Yep, there's someone nuttier than her. That'd be her ex-boyfriend who is willing to admit how much he loved her, that he gave her his sperm three times because of his undying love for her, that he thinks he's the father of the Mocktuplets, that he wants a DNA test to find out if he is actually the father and even if he isn't he still wants to help Nadya out with raising the children because, you know, it's going to be hard. See? Told you. Nutjob.

Meet Denis Beaudoin. According to the LA Times folks, when Beaudoin was on "Good Morning America," he says "...he "might" be the father of the octuplets" because he "...said he donated sperm to Suleman a decade ago when they were dating. He now wants a DNA test to see if he is the father." Um, seriously? Seriously. You can watch the video of this guy (who ends up trying not to cry at one point) over there at The Huffington Post. I watched it and, putting aside my intense dislike for crying men (it's harder for them to move heavy objects for me if they're blubbering), I found the guy to have a story that could be believable. It incorporated the major facets of this fiasco so far (sperm, donating sperm, Nadya wanting children, Nadya lying, Nadya manipulating, you get the point) and they were inadvertently backed up by Nadya herself. There are a few problem areas, but again, what aspect of this ordeal hasn't had a few of those? Every day?

Here's the scoop: Denis (yes, with only one "n". Why do people do that? You folks with whatever it is that you have against the double "n", get over yourselves and spell things properly!) says that he dated Nadya for three years. During the timeline that he gives, he says that he now believes that she was married when she was dating him. For three years? She's crazy alright, but to pull something like that off for that long would be tricky for even the most insane person out there (which she could very well be). So that's a problem.

At some point, she asked him for his sperm. OK, I don't usually ask my dates for their sperm. (Then again, my dates don't have sperm.) But Nadya does a lot of things that most people don't do. And Denis realized this because he said that he thought the request for his sperm was "out of the ordinary" But he made a donation anyway because "...I cared about her so much. And I mean, we were, we were in love. I mean, I loved Nadya very much." And that's when I heard the cuckoo bird alarm go off. And it kept going off because he kept talking. He said that he and his friends had nicknamed her "Giggles" because "She really had a really infectious laugh. You know, just her laugh would, it would make you crack up. It's kind of like she had a real high-pitch, squeaky cartoon voice. And, you know, she was a lot of fun to be around. Just her whole bubbly outward personality was really, really cool." Uh-huh. Well, at least one of them is completely nuts. I don't know which one, but I am leaning toward it being her for sure.

As for the reason OctoMom gave him for why she needed his sperm, he claims "Suleman told him that she had ovarian cancer and was unable to conceive without the help of a doctor." Oh, for cryin' out loud! What the hell?? Oh wait! He also says that "....he donated sperm once at the fertility clinic and twice more gave her sperm at home that she carried to the fertility clinic in a container -- keeping it warm by tucking it between her breasts." OK, that sounds just crazy enough for her to have done.

And what's her take on this? Well, she clearly knows the guy. I make that statement based upon her not saying that she had no idea who he was. The RadarOnline guys said that OctoMom told them, "That guy is definitely not the father of my kids. I know who the father is and I can tell you it is definitely not him." Well, yeah, you do know who the father is. But since the father's name isn't on all of the birth certificates and she claims that all of the sperm came from the same donor, I guess that she couldn't say that his name wasn't on the birth certificates, so obviously it wasn't him. (Why that name isn't on all of the birth certificates is another story, but I think it's kind of related to this somehow.) It was just a weird answer.

(By the way, kudos to the RadarOnline folks. They have been on top of this thing from the beginning. They're out-scooping just about everyone. An excellent source for all of your OctoMom ridiculousness.)

So where is Denis with one "n" going to be if he does get DNA tests and finds out that the Mocktuplets are not his? “Either which way, you know, know that if she needs it I’ll lend a helping hand. She needs help. I mean it’s hard. It’s hard nowadays to raise two kids, let alone 14.” He should know about how hard it is to raise two kids. He HAS two kids. And a wife! The wife is not happy from what he says. (Would you be? No way. Even if he hadn't given her sperm, just knowing that he was so in love with her for three years would be disturbing enough for me.)

Yeah, well, she's going to need some help. Her mother doesn't want OctoMom and the fourteen children living with her anymore. What's an unemployed, single, mother of fourteen children all under the age of eight to do? Probably applying for more food stamps is in the picture. Other than that, it's hard to say what she has in mind for herself. I hear monetary donations aren't exactly flooding in. (That might have something to do with people being just a tad bit annoyed at her living off of the government for the past eight years by collecting disability all the while she's shooting out a kid once every 12 months.)

I don't know what Denis's deal is. He has to know that anyone associating themselves with this nutjob will automatically become as toxic as she is. And I'd like to think that someone who has a wife and a couple of kids would not jeopardize that by wanting to jump in and help a woman who treats her uterus like it's a clown car. There isn't a ton of money involved with this, so I don't know that he can be motivated by the prospect of cashing in other than being paid for various interviews. If she balks on doing DNA testing, then we'll know that something isn't quite right. I mean, we'll know that something else isn't quite right.

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OctoMom and the Mocktuplets

I've refrained, with great difficulty, until now to comment on Nadya Suleman, the southern California woman who gave birth to eight, yes eight, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight children on January 26. Normally (ah, the irony), my only comment would be "Are you kidding me? Eight? Did she have them in a big box under the stairs? That's a litter!" But this isn't the normal abnormality of giving birth to the entire cast of Eight is Enough. No, this is an abnormal abnormality. And those two things do not cancel each other out to make this one big ol' normal thing. Not at all. It's a freak show and a half run by a psychotic ringmaster.

For some unknown reason, the fertility clinic where a one Nadya Suleman (known by me as the OctoMom) had her IVF done must have mistaken her for a gumball machine or something and crammed at least eight embryos in there. And wouldn't you know it? Of all the "luck", eight of the embryos "stuck". And that is how she came to have fourteen children. Wait. Fourteen? What?

Correct. Fourteen. Oh, did I not mention that Ms. Suleman already had six children? I didn't? She did. Already had six! I guess then that I didn't tell you that those six were all conceived through IVF as well. They were. Hey, I'm not done yet! The ages of the six children are 7 through 2 with the 2 year olds being twins. I'll do the math so that you'll know it equates to one full-term pregnancy every year for about six years. And that equates to being pregnant for 54 months and being not pregnant for 18 months. That's a hell of a ratio there. For every one month that you are not pregnant, you get to spend three months being pregnant. On purpose!! But at least she didn't have to worry about her husband complaining or anything because she's not married. But that's OK because she lives with her parents. And even that's OK because she doesn't have a job. Annnnnddddd....now! Twist off! There ya go. Quick and painful, I know. I've been there.

Everyone wants to know what in the hell this woman was thinking and as luck (or greed) would have it, we're about to find out because she's granted an interview to Ann Curry (of all people for the first interview. Must have been the highest bidder. NBC! NBC!)) and she tells her what her rationale and thinking process was (other than broken!). And what you learn may shock you. It will not do anything good, I'll tell you that right now.

The OctoMom told Ann Curry that she had always wanted lots of kids. "That was always a dream of mine, to have a large family, a huge family, and I just longed for certain connections and attachments with another person that I really lacked, I believe, growing up." OK, so she's still at the stage where she's blaming her parents and her childhood for her issues that she has as an adult. Great. Real mature thinking there. Great. What else?

Well, she said that she "...tried for years to become pregnant before undergoing IVF." So, just sleeping around, hoping to get lucky, eh? (It's about as good of an idea as having fourteen kids!) Great morals also. Grand. Next!

Her mother said that the OctoMom "....always blamed me for having only her (she was an only child)... She was always upset that I didn't have more." Last time I checked, that was kind of the decision of the parent, not the child. Most children do want a sibling, but they tend to get over it when they're an adult. They don't tend to become professionally pregnant. So of course, the OctoMom said that her childhood was "pretty dysfunctional." Oh, well, having fourteen kids while you're living in your mother's house? The house of the same mother who you blame for your condition? Well, that's definitely going to put the "fun" back in "dysfunctional" now isn't it? The OctoMom also said, "I didn't feel as though, when I was a child, I had much control of my environment. I felt powerless." Hmm. I wonder if that's because you were a child! The child isn't supposed to have control of the environment because they're the child! Why do you think I ended up eating things like broccoli and peas when I was growing up? Because I was the child and I didn't have a choice! What is wrong with this woman?

OctoMom's mother, Angela Suleman, stated that she was opposed to her daughter's latest pregnancy. Really? Hey, guess what? I'M opposed to your daughter's latest pregnancy as well! I'll do you one better than that! I'm also opposed to your daughter's other six pregnancies!

The folks over there at the New York Times tell us that the OctoMom's publicist, a one Joann Killeen, has said that "Ms. Suleman had not determined how she would support her family, though they were weighing several media offers, including some for financial compensation." Well that's some real good family planning right there! Don't you think that perhaps that should have been worked out, oh, say before you decided to have more children? Here's a question: How are you supporting the SIX that you already have?? Oh, I'm sorry I asked.

According to an Associated Press article "...documents reveal that Suleman collected more than $165,000 in disability payments between 2002 and 2008 for an injury she said left her in near-constant pain and helped end her marriage." Huh. $27,500 per year. So, let's see. Oh, hey! How about that?! Her disability payments started the same time that her pregnancies did! What a coincidence! (Grrrr......) And if someone is in "near constant pain" without having another human being inside of them, don't you think that playing host to an alien being once a year for six years would result in "constant pain"? I'd think so, but then again, I'm not the boneheaded doctor who signed off her disability papers either. What a scam.

A scam? Oh, I must be some sort of a cynic to think that, right? Well, duh! Cynic or not, this woman ain't quite right. Disability? Spare me. You know, there are people out there who actually need disability and they're finding it difficult to get. I think this chick is looking for a free ride probably in part due to her shopping her story around to all of the major media outlets and wanting somewhere in the neighborhood of two million bucks. And I'll tell you this: I'm all for that. As long as she uses the money to pay for her hospital bill if it turns out that she doesn't have insurance.

OctoMom's mother has said that she expects people's opinions to change now that her daughter is going public. I think she's right. My opinion has changed since this new info has come out. I can't stand this woman even more now! Her mother also said, "She's a very likable person. She's basically normal except for this obsession she's always had with children." You can't throw "except for this obsession" in there and have that justify that she's normal other than that! It's the "that" that makes this not normal! That's like saying a serial killer (sorry for the brutal analogy, but it's all I've got right now) is "basically normal except for, you know, all of the killing." See? Not normal!

This country is in the middle of it's economic downfall and everyone and their dog is cutting back and this woman goes in reverse and turns her uterus into a clown car and starts shooting out babies when she doesn't have a job or a husband and she lives with her parents! You know who needs to pay for all of this? The fertility guy that continued time after time after time to plant embryos inside of this woman as if he were planting a garden! I want him or her to pay for this. And not figuratively. Literally. Cash money. Fork it over. (I'd also like to know how the OctoMom paid for the IVF, as it is expensive and the norm seems to be around $20K. Rumor has it that she once worked at a fertility clinic or a sperm bank. I can't even begin to look into that one just yet, lest my head explode.)

I'll be watching her on the Today Show on Monday. Who am I kidding? I'm not up that early. I'll catch it online or on Dateline on Tuesday. And I'm expecting my opinion of the OctoMom to be different. I don't expect it to be good-different, but I'm expecting it to be different. I know what won't be different and that's my opinion of this whole situation. It's just wrong.

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