Saturday, February 7, 2009

Does Anyone in Washington Pay Their Effing Taxes?

It seems as if the politicians in Washington, DC have been divided into two camps. There's the We Pay Our Taxes Camp and the We're SO Much Better Than The Little People We're NOT Going To Pay Our Taxes And We're Going To Laugh At YOU For Paying Yours, Ya Chump Camp. OK, so the second camp has a rather lengthy moniker. How about it I just shorten it to "The Jackasses"? Does that work? It seems to. It stays.

So now we have our two camps and of all the dumb luck, it just so happens that President Barry keeps selecting people for his Cabinet from "The Jackasses Camp"! HOW does that happen? Not once, not twice, but we're up to three times at this point! Pssst! Barry! Don't do this blindfolded any more! Choose from the other camp!! The one with law abiding citizens! You don't want a Cabinet full of Jackasses! (No one does, really.)

Here's the part I really don't get: Have you seen the application for employment within President Barry's administration? It's seven pages long! It has sixty three questions (and none of them are multiple choice! No, they're all essay!)! It asks you the names of anyone you've cohabitated with in the past ten years! It wants to know if you have a Facebook page, a MySpace page, a blog (the bloggy folks are probably instantly disqualified)! Do you own a gun? They want information about members of your family that could be "a possible source of embarrassment to you"! (Well, yes. They would be known as "my family"! All of 'em. Every one. Bunch of freaks, I'm tellin' you.) They even include in Question 8 "Briefly describe the most controversial matters you have been involved with during the course of your career." The most controversial matters? At work?! I try to avoid controversy at work (and I've worked in psychiatric hospitals)!.

But questions 33 through 41 are specifically dedicated to taxes! And frankly, I find nine questions about taxes a bit much. Let's whittle that down a bit, shall we? Here we go: "Have you paid all of your effing taxes? If not, we don't care why. We just won't hire you. Next!" What's wrong with that? That's pretty much all you need to know. If you want to know more, you can always ask the person about it. You don't have to hire them. You certainly don't have to let the entire country know that you want to hire them. Barry.

First there was Timothy Geithner (that's pronounced "tax cheat"), nominated by President Barry to be Secretary of the Treasury, who "...failed to pay a total $34,023 in taxes from 2001 to 2004" according to the Seattle Times (and everyone else). Here's the thing with this guy: he "...filed amended tax returns for 2001 and 2002 after Barack Obama nominated him. He did so for 2003, 2004, 2005 and 2006 after an IRS audit in 2006. He did his own taxes in 2000, 2001, 2002 and 2005." So he's audited in 2006 and his taxes are in disarray and unpaid and then THREE years later when Barry taps him, he still owes money because he just continued to not pay! Please note the tax years in question were all years that the guy did his own taxes. His explanation? The tax code is complex. What?

No S, Sherlock! It's 68,000 pages chock full of complex! But you were the head of the Federal Reserve in New York! You're supposed to understand complex! And now you're in charge of the finances for the entire country?? Lord help us all, we're doomed. Nice. Next!

Then there was Tom Daschle, taped for Secretary of Health and Human Services. Turns out that a couple of days after his nomination, he revealed that he had "...just filed amended tax returns to reflect $128,203 in back taxes and $11,964 in interest" for years 2005-2007. What didn't he report? Oh, that would be the car service that a friend had given him, the estimated value of which was around $250,000 and Daschle estimates that it was 80% for personal use and about 20% for business use. WTF?!?

A freaking car service?! Holy crap, dude! You can't drive yourself to your speaking engagements? Oh, wait. It was mostly for personal use. You can't drive your own ass to the store? You have to have someone else drive it there for you?! Wow, that's not arrogant and elitist and hypocritical at all! Jackass. Next!

Next would be a one Nancy Killefer who was tapped for chief performance officer (whatever that is). She withdrew after being nominated when it came up that she hadn't paid payroll taxes for one of her household staff employees. What kind of a staff does she need you ask? Well, she needs two nannies and a personal assistant! Two nannies? Is she the OctoMom? No. She has a teenage son and teenage daughter and each one of them, apparently, has their own personal nanny! Nice. Oh, but get this: Her unpaid taxes caused the DC government to slap a lien on her house because she failed to make the quarterly payments for over a year and a half. And even after they slapped on the lien it still took her over five months to pay the bill. (Why do liens always get "slapped" on? They're never just "put", they're always "slapped". "Slapped" as if the people "putting" on the liens, well...people who slap things! Yeah, that's it. Where was I?) That must be a lot of money that she owed right? Sure, if you consider $298 in unpaid taxes "a lot of money".

You penny pinching tax cheat. Your children have individual nannies and you're trying to get out of paying an extra $298?! Oh, well, of course there was the $48.69 in interest and $600 in penalties that accrued, but only after you didn't pay it!! What is wrong with you?! And did I mention that she used to be on the IRS Oversight Board? She did. What a weasel. A sneaky weasel. Next!

Yes! There's more! We now have the husband of a one Hilda Solis (Hilda? Pretty.) who was tapped for Secretary of Labor who finally coughed up $6,400 last week to settle liens placed on his business, some of which dated back to 1993! The Barry Camp says that she shouldn't be responsible for what her husband does. If she signed off on the tax forms that he filled out for them, then yes she should. And of course, the liens were for unpaid property taxes. (The business that her husband has is an auto repair shop. Interesting. She's about to be the Secretary of Labor and he's about to change my oil. Huh.)

So what exactly is Camp Obama doing with those 7 page application forms for everyone? I can't imagine that they would just nominate these people under the assumption that they are squeaky clean. I also can't imagine that they would just nominate these people and not do their own background check on them. It's pretty simple to see if someone has tax liens, owes back taxes, hasn't paid taxes, etc. But then again, after the AP broke the news of Killefer's issues, a member of Camp Barry asked the AP reporter how he found the lien. Apparently, they're going to need a few tips on how to conduct a more thorough and effective background check. I'm sure our national security will be much better than this! Much better! Sure. Oh, yeah. I feel safer already.

Seriously, what is wrong with these people? I don't know whose behavior I find to be more egregious, that of the nominees or that of the people doing the vetting for President Barry. I realize that if you keep choosing from Camp Jackass that's what you can expect, which is why I say stop choosing from Camp Jackass! (I can't believe that Geithner made it through and is now the head money guy for the country. I hope he's taking the complexity of the tax code to heart and doing something to revise it and streamline it to make it less complex. Because if the head of the Federal Reserve thinks that it's "complex", imagine how difficult it is for people who do NOT have a background in economics and in tax codes. Those people are effed. And yes, the books in that picture would be the tax code! )

I want some of that stimulus money or recovery money or whatever they're calling it (other than "The Ass Reaming of the American Public") to go toward auditing every single member of the House, the Senate and Congress as well as President Barry's entire staff, driver's and nannies and all! Seriously! That's what I want. I want an audit of all of those weasel's taxes. I'm fairly versed in tax code (it's a sick hobby, what can I say?), I'd be happy to help! You guys know where to find me. Just say the word and I'll have my driver come and pick me up and my nannies do my laundry and pack my clothes and I'll be right there!
Come on, President Barry! Use your head!

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