The Paris Fashion Week Fall/Winter 2009/2010 was last week. (Already?! I know! I couldn't believe it myself! It seems like I was just talking about this....never.) A whole week devoted to fashion? Hmmm. I'd say that the amount of time I spend thinking about my own personal fashion each day would be 30-35 seconds. Tops. (I sleep in sweats in case I'm running late in the morning and don't have time to get dressed.) I cannot fathom who could spend an entire week thinking about fashion. I can't fathom why such an elusive individual would do such a thing either. And I realize 'to each their own' (or some crap like that), but this is "clothing". Thus, if someone else is going to be wearing something and I am going to be around that person, I am going to have to see the clothing and therefore I will be affected by the clothing that they're wearing. That is why this John Galliano character and the whole Fashion-Palooza deal has me concerned. Behold! Concern:
Oh, what the hell is that? That is a satyr. A satyr is a creature that is half goat and half man. According to the Greeks, the satyr is a frolicking fellow who dances about whilst playing some sort of pipe and chasing nymphs of the female persuasion all the live long day. (It has all the makings of the outdoor forest version of the Playboy Mansion.) John Galliano's "creation" there uses the satyr as it's inspiration. Or as the object which to exactly model his creation after! Is it for Halloween? What's with the cards on his forehead? Is he on his way to play poker with the undead? The goated? What's with the blonde, curly, Brazilian goatee? I've seen stuff like this only in nightmares that I've had after consuming just a bit too much Taco Bell. WHO, who, who is going to wear that? I don't even think a goat would be wearing that, let alone the man (and the man is the one with the opposable thumbs, which come in handy when attempting to dress oneself).
Are those feathers? On his legs? Why do we need those? Is it for Muppets? Ladies, does your man have a hankering to walk around looking for dogs to play poker with the cards on his head? All the while powdered down from head to toe in wig dust and sporting a lovely flat toed golden boot on his foot? Then do I have the outfit for....what? No? Huh. Interesting. You'd think the way that they're talking, there would really be some demand.
Ah, yes. The perfect out fit for the man in your life that just loves a rather large, mesh bow that is roughly the size of Kansas jutting out from the side of his neck! Yes, expect Brad Pitt to be sporting one any day now! (And probably along with that ridiculous newsboy cap he's always wearing. That oughta turn some heads...away.) That outfit is clearly the cousin of Aretha Franklin's hat.
Galliano seems to have a thing for men's underwear as well. (Yeah, that's a real shock. The dude's name emblazoned on the front of men's brief. A complete surprise!) Here are some of his underwear themed creations that will scare the holy beejeezus out of most people. Behold!