Thursday, August 14, 2008

Winnie The Pooh - Japanese Assailant


I hate doing laundry. But I've never let laundry pile up so much that I, literally, had no regular clothes to wear. EVER. There was always something lying around that I could don which would allow me to go out of the house and not cause wide spread panic throughout the neighborhood. Always. Something. It might not be stylish, but it would be considered regular clothing. This was not the case with a few fellows over there in Tokyo, Japan. Yeah, when they ran out of clean clothes they decided to just spurn clothes altogether and wear costumes, like that of Winnie the Pooh. Wait. What?

According to the our fine reporter mates down under at news.com.au, 20 year old (yes, TWENTY) Masayuki Ishikawa was dressed as Winnie the Pooh and was hanging out on a street corner in Tokyo after midnight. Don't worry, he wasn't dressed as that fuzzy yellow bear and hanging out in public alone (because, well, that would be weird). No, he had a couple buddies with him. They were dressed as a mouse and a panther.

OK, what in the hell is going on over there in Japan? I know they can be a little quirky at times, what with all of that anime stuff and what not. But this reads like a bad joke. "Winnie the Pooh, a mouse and a panther walked into a bar...." And who has these kind of costumes just laying around their house?! ALL the time?!

So the bear, the mouse and the panther (it's like a Far East food chain from hell is what it is) were standing there and noticed a couple of other guys staring at them. ( I can't imagine why!) According to the Japanese police, "It's uncommon to see people dressed up like this, so the victims were watching them." Uncommon, is it? Good to know. Good to know in case I ever go to Japan, run out of clean clothes and think about donning a Snoopy Suit for a night on the town!

Ishikawa approached the two staring people wearing regular clothes and said "What are you staring at?" Apparently it didn't matter because Ishikawa and the mouse and the panther beat the crap out of the two and stole their money.

As you might imagine (and would definitely hope) they were easy to apprehend and were arrested. I'm guessing a police line up in this situation isn't really possible, is it? Not for the Winnie the Pooh, at least. I mean, with the panther you could line up a panther, the Pink Panther, Huey Long (the Black Panther), you could probably even throw Snagglepuss in there if you were desperate. The point is that there's more than one type of panther for a police line-up. Same with the mouse. You've got Mickey, Minnie and Mighty. Then Jerry (of Tom & Jerry), Pixie and Dixie. But there's really only one Pooh Bear. There are other bears, of course. Yogi, Smokey, The Three Bears. But no Pooh Bears. There IS a Poo-bah. Wasn't Fred Flintstone like the Grand Poo-bah or something like that? Does that count? Where's the Poo-bah? Let's see.


Nope. Won't work. Really have to stick to bears in this case. Actually, we wouldn't have to stick to anything at all if those guys would just do their laundry once in a while. Or at the very least, not leave the house dressed like beloved childhood storybook characters (which end up beating up innocent bystanders and stealing their dough). Ever.

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